Congrats on taking this hurdle. It will be easier next time. Hopefully there won't be a next time...
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Yeah, I can imagine it being a bit easier - need to get better at vetting.
Thanks to everyone that's helped with advice, it's been very helpful, even stuff I haven't agreed with has been good to think about.
Thanks to everyone that's helped with advice, it's been very helpful, even stuff I haven't agreed with has been good to think about.
I certainly understand and appreciate the sentiment behind a BL trying to schedule some extra-curricular or extra-band related activities, team-building, etc., but it has not worked well for me and the bands I've managed. I pretty much gave up on the idea long ago. Often, the musicians I work with have vastly different tastes and interests outside of the band. We're pretty simpatico with band-related details, but we're all either way too busy or too different to want to sacrifice personal time socializing with each other. We already sacrifice one week night and one or two days on the weekends for the band, plus personal practice time at home between full-band meetings. Any "socializing" happens during downtime, during load in/load out, between songs at rehearsal, maybe a linger-longer after rehearsal or gig, but never carving out yet another big chunk of another day just to shoot the breeze and get "better acquainted."
At best, a couple of us may meet socially at an event, more by chance or on a whim than by design.
Although the deed is done and the guitarist had some other traits that were a detriment to the project, I'd re-think the whole extra-band "team building" stuff and maybe not put so much emphasis on it.
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Agreed. It's hard enough to find musically compatible people with compatible schedules and work ethics. I would not want to introduce more drama opportunities in general. If you tour you're going to get plenty of that hang time anyway.
There wasn't a huge emphasis on it - and there was an easy, no-hassle get out, the only pressure to participate would have been self imposed by said guitarist. The drummer and I hang out a fair amount, but that's choice on our part.
The only thing that bugged me about the social side was the saying yes, then making last minute excuses. If he'd just said "not for me thanks" there never would have been a problem with that at all.
Sounds like the guy felt pressured or torn (for whatever reason), said "yes," thought it over, and changed his mind. Not that unusual, if you know people. Certainly not something I'd call a character flaw, everyone handles that situation differently.
Completely agree, but it did niggle, the other stuff mentioned was more of an issue.
Positivity is a huge thing as you go through life, not just in bands. When you're young you tend to be impatient and immature, and arrogant at times. If someone is like that all the time then they just haven't grown up. The guys that play in Nashville tend to be very positive at all times, not everyone but it's becoming more that way as time goes by. It's just a greater awareness and maturity coming from many of the new, young guys coming in. Rich Redmond is one of the most positive persons there is. He has a great philosophy, "be prepared and be positive, no matter what." Check out his recent sort of docu/video on You Tube (he's posted over 400 on all topics).
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That I get. I once worked with a drummer who was the most rock-solid tasteful tempo-conscious timekeeper I've ever met. But at rehearsals and gigs he was a dark, grumpy, anti-social, mean horse's ass.
He had to go.
Nor am I, 61 this April.Dude, are you accusing me of trying to be positive?
I'm sadly not young
Nice, I remember 41, kind of. We had a 5 year old and a 2 year old, busy time. Kids knock off the rough edges and make you grow, ideally. Now we're empty nesters, a different kind of nice. I actually have money now to indulge playing again. Something I didn't do for 14 years until about 3 years ago.41 Friday, Indian food, lots of it
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Well, I don't think I'll manage kids - I like them when you can give them back 
...and I'm definitely only 50% of the deal for kids at the moment.
...and I'm definitely only 50% of the deal for kids at the moment.
Understand, kids are not for everyone but it did make me a better person. Sometimes dragging me kicking and screaming, lol. I grew up very selfish and self centered, and then I met a woman who made all my dreams come, literally. I changed and wanted to change for her and our kids, and she never said a word to me about it. That was 34 years ago, over half my life with her. It's never too late, think Larry King (who I think is crazy) but you have to want it, and then some. A friend of mine just had her second child, at 44.Well, I don't think I'll manage kids - I like them when you can give them back
...and I'm definitely only 50% of the deal for kids at the moment.
sounds like my last guitarist. theory taught, knew all the scales,riffs,licks,leads of any song you could think of, and walked around like his sht dont stink.....arrogant as hell and was in his late 30's going on his pre-teens.......gone buh-byee!
Yeah man, sometimes you just have to move on. Lots of musicians out there, good ones too. Depending on where you live, some talent pools are larger than others. We just found a new great, young guitarist. He's 24 and had been playing jazz and jazz fusion, his own original songs but he loves modern country. Especially Kurt Allison, Adam Schoenfeld and guys like that. He was college kid, still is. He's been a Godsend, and he doesn't drink, even better. He replaced a guy who used to play with Eddie Money and Sammy Hagar but was an alcoholic when he played, and it got worse over time. We had to let him go. The new kid can play things he couldn't. Joe Satriani and Steve Vai are his two favorite guitarists and he can play some of their stuff note for note. It's been an eye opener. We feel very lucky to have him and he is extremely agreeable. Sometimes change is good thing.
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They're out there, be open minded and just be yourself. That's all a woman really wants. That and (diamonds, money, etc.), lol. Trust is a huge thing, took me a while to learn that.
