Yeah it may be the singer that can't hear himself, and not hear if he's in tune. And if everybody else hears that the vocalist is out of tune, EXCEPT THE GUITARIST, then he's bad to the bone, lackadaisical about anyone else being in tune or not, and just cares about himself, that he gets heard. One question though, of importance:
IS THERE ANY SECOND GUITAR PLAYER IN THE BAND or is it just him?
You know, if a suggestion comes from another guitarist he MAY listen to his opinion, because most guitards are like this "You don't know nothing about guitar sound, so keep your mouth shut..." Granted, should the second guitarist be of the same arrogant breed, then you'll have problems. But chances are that the "other" guitarist says "Hey, you're overpowering me.." to the first one, and sort of - well - it's more likely that they sort it out between each other. If he says he must play with high gain even at rehearsal or small club, then, well, point hin to numerous interviews with world famous and class guitarists, what THEY use in studio. Gary Moore used small amps, Frank Zappa used a Pignose at times, and there are too many to be namedropped who uses VERY small amps. The only one I can think of using stage gear is Eric Johnson who also uses 100w Marshall amps in studio. Ask Eric about why he got his tinnitus then...;-) On a large stage, and outdoor gigs that's no big deal, it's even required to go high wattage.
But in studio and rehearsal, such things are totally bollocks. Tell him that if John Petrucci and Steve Vai have swapped to modelling rack gear, and get the same tone at low volume, then he can too. Period. Guthrie Gowan uses a Cornford 6 watt in studio and rehearsals. Well, go figure.
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As one gets older I've come to this conclusion, and turned more arrogant towards musicians that have an arrogant view on loudness, and volume from the start on. Same with drummers not keeping time or - basically - all musicians whose playing is completely off.
The sophomore years are way behind me, and I have no qualms about telling out to people that I don't even know that they suck big time. In any areas. I've fed up, and had enough of people that don't hear or detect certain things. That thinks they're so terrific no matter how bad they suck. Like, their perception of their own playing is too different from what the rest of the people around him thinks.
Last year I played with an 'seasoned' drummer that put up ads in music shops. He's been doing that for years, ad:s for people to play with. He still does. It turns out that he's so bad, that he will forever keep on looking for musicians to play with. They just leave after playing with him for once or twice. It's a jazzbo thing. He couldn't keep time, and started to play a bossa beat in the middle of a swing tune, just because he got tired in his wrists. And such things. I told him, that he has missed a large portion of music, there's a big hole in the middle. Some antics he could do, but holding a straight beat at tempo seemed impossible, and on top of this, he was the one to choose the tunes that he could "play". Conclusion: he couldn't hear it, even if he were told to what to listen for. And couldn't do anything about it. It was just too late. Bad habits honed in and stuck in his DNA.
Many people think that this stance is very rude. But the thing is people don't think that someone else STARTED to get rude with me or the rest of the band. If someone is playing VERY loudly and overpowering anyobody else, is very rude by default. just like someone is giving you the finger, or saying f*ck you! The very bad playing, or excess volume of guitarists or anyone is - by default - rude and arrogant in the first place. And when faced with their very same medicine they can't take it. They turn sour and show diva behaviour, or start explaining or excusing themselves in an "artist soul" behaviour.
When I was starting out, my teacher scolded me if I was off in timing, playing, and told med what to practice on. Now, time has moved on, and I am not the one that is eager to please all of the time. It seems that if I am in band where someone is of less technical proficiency, or timing and tuning is off, it's alway us - that have some experience and can play better - regarding volume, tuning, timing (of drummer) that have to compromise and adjust ourselves to the weakest link in the chain. Not ever have I been in any setting that requires the bad one to go home and hone it in, and do some woodshedding. It's always the more proficient ones that has to adapt to the not so proficient ones. If my colleagues are - like - 12 years old and starting out, then it's another thing. But if they're plus 40 and have played for all of their life, and still hasn't got CERTAIN THINGS down, I sure will tell them so, very frankly and brutal honesty. If it's THEIR band, I'll just leave them, and tell them why, there are still too many other bands out there, that sure's better. I am fed up with all this being courteous and critizing them in a constructive way, because, I AM NOT A TEACHER. If I had that knack I would be a teacher. And as time has passed on, I KNOW THAT BEING CORTEOUS DOES NOT HELP.
And of course, since I've heard this statements about myself ages ago, that I have some things to work on, I expect that people will behave the same way against me, when my playing is off. If I suck, I'd rather have the people tell me that right on. And if I can't do something about it on the spot, then I do not fit in that band at all. I'll leave. Today, I know pretty much in advance before entering any band, or outfit, if I fit in or not. If I don't fit in, I don't even give it a try, because I'll know I'll suck.
Now, as one grow older, it's my turn to tell anyone else that has been flogging a dead horse all of the time, that they suck. And if it will cost my friendship, so be it. I'm fed up with this, and since it's not much problem to search for other bands/guys that really makes it click it's no big deal. It saves big time. And not wasting mine. If there's no one to tell them that they suck, or WHAT they're missing, how should they progress, then? They'll just keep on honing in their bad habits, becasue no one else told them they were rude from the start on.
You're only as good as all the others judge you. Period.