• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Horribly tacky to crowdfund a honeymoon???

Crowdfunded Honeymoon:

  • Awesome idea!!!!

    Votes: 5 20.0%

  • Tackier than a fat guy in a loud Aloha short and black socks with sandals.

    Votes: 14 56.0%

  • Carrots.

    Votes: 6 24.0%
  • Total voters
    25
Staredge

Staredge

Aug 7, 2010
648
970
Damascus, MD
#1
My wife and I got married last weekend. Due to us having 7 kids between us, along with paying for the small wedding ourselves, we have put the idea of a honeymoon on the backburner. We didn't get any gifts for the wedding, and had told people we didn't need anything (as we had merged two households). This evening, we were talking about it and I jokingly suggested going to California next August for a surf guitar convention (I've been, and have been desperate to go back). She was all for it!!! (I love this woman!!!)

We figured about $5k should do the trip. She jokingly mentioned GoFundMe, and that got me thinking. Would it be horribly tacky to do so??? Something along the lines of "We've been asked what we need, and we don't. If you'd like to contribute to our honeymoon, we would appreciate it."

Knowing that the TB community is the paragon of taste and culture, I put the question to you.


(and for the record, I'm a fat guy who got married in an Aloha shirt, although I don't wear black socks with sandals)
 
#2
I think asking for gifts is outright wrong and tacky to boot. If you had made an announcement before the wedding that there was a site or a place to contribute to your honeymoon instead of giving a gift, then maybe, but not after the fact.

The fact that you got no gifts even though you said you didn't want any doesn't bode all that well for your chances of success, either.
 
  • Like
Reactions: oerk and MJ5150
#3
That's such a coincidence...I saw something veryy similar pitched on last week's episode of Shark Tank. It's like a crowd-funded honeymoon registry. Check it out:

Invalid Link Removed

So I'm not sure if it's tacky or not...but you're certainly not alone in your idea :D congratulations by the way.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MJ5150
#4
We didn't invite a lot of people to the wedding. We figured we would look after the beginning of the year to have a reception/party at that time. We have been asked by family and friends (after the announcement) if there was anything we needed, and have told them not really, but have had people who have said they wanted to do something.
 
#9
I've had friends do this since they were merging two NYC or two Chicago apartments and already felt they had everything they needed. I thought it was a great idea since both couples weren't planning on taking their honeymoons immediately. It opened them up to tons of options since neither had a destination already selected. One couple used the full amount they received and added their own funds to it. The other didn't use the full amount they received so gave the option to all contributors to take a small refund or have the balance donated to charity.
 
#10
Being completely honest, and since I don't know you at all... I think the amount of tackiness would be dependent upon the type of people you are. If you are loving, generous, giving people, who everyone gets along with and most people like, then maybe not so tacky. If you're people who look for handouts often, very tacky. I have friends who fall into both categories, and for me it would be the people requesting it that would decide for me whether I'd roll my eyes, or contribute :). Make sense?

I too am surprised that nobody gave any gifts, regardless of the fact that that's what you requested. Unless I misunderstood. I think it may have been a better idea if it was decided upon before the reception you had. My other thought was why not save on your own? My wife and I put money aside every week in a vacation fund envelope. It adds up quickly, and vacations seems almost free. $5000 also seems a bit much for what you're describing. My wife and I did a cruise in Europe, and a a few days in Rome and Venice for less than that.

My vote went to carrots.
 
#11
Staredge said:
My wife and I got married last weekend. Due to us having 7 kids between us, along with paying for the small wedding ourselves, we have put the idea of a honeymoon on the backburner. We didn't get any gifts for the wedding, and had told people we didn't need anything (as we had merged two households). This evening, we were talking about it and I jokingly suggested going to California next August for a surf guitar convention (I've been, and have been desperate to go back). She was all for it!!! (I love this woman!!!)

We figured about $5k should do the trip. She jokingly mentioned GoFundMe, and that got me thinking. Would it be horribly tacky to do so??? Something along the lines of "We've been asked what we need, and we don't. If you'd like to contribute to our honeymoon, we would appreciate it."

Knowing that the TB community is the paragon of taste and culture, I put the question to you.


(and for the record, I'm a fat guy who got married in an Aloha shirt, although I don't wear black socks with sandals)
Click to expand...

Five grand? Are you planning to stay at the Hilton? You should be able to do it for far less than that. Check out Southwest airfare and Priceline hotels- the fact that you could book it so far ahead will definitely help.
 
#12
Staredge said:
My wife and I got married last weekend. Due to us having 7 kids between us, along with paying for the small wedding ourselves, we have put the idea of a honeymoon on the backburner. We didn't get any gifts for the wedding, and had told people we didn't need anything (as we had merged two households). This evening, we were talking about it and I jokingly suggested going to California next August for a surf guitar convention (I've been, and have been desperate to go back). She was all for it!!! (I love this woman!!!)

We figured about $5k should do the trip. She jokingly mentioned GoFundMe, and that got me thinking. Would it be horribly tacky to do so??? Something along the lines of "We've been asked what we need, and we don't. If you'd like to contribute to our honeymoon, we would appreciate it."

Knowing that the TB community is the paragon of taste and culture, I put the question to you.


(and for the record, I'm a fat guy who got married in an Aloha shirt, although I don't wear black socks with sandals)
Click to expand...

My wife and I didn't want more stuff we didn't need so we registered at a website called honeyfund.com

You can actually register items like "romantic dinner", "boat ride", "hotel", "flights".... We went to Greece with miles and everything there was paid as gifts from friends and family.

Btw, it's your honeymoon, $5k seems reasonable once you add everything up. I travel for work by myself and I am very conservative with expenses. A week w hotels, meals and rental car By myself hits over 1k easily. I'm guessing you want to stay in nice hotels, have nice dinners.... Romantic sh!t, it's your honeymoon ya know.... Nobody should be questioning the "need" for that much.
 
#17
MJ5150 said:
What seems tacky to me is how you flipped from 'we don't need or want anything' to 'hey, wanna pay for our vacation?'
Click to expand...

Reasonable, but it is somewhat in response to people asking what we need and not knowing what we had stated before.


Joe Nerve said:
Being completely honest, and since I don't know you at all... I think the amount of tackiness would be dependent upon the type of people you are. If you are loving, generous, giving people, who everyone gets along with and most people like, then maybe not so tacky. If you're people who look for handouts often, very tacky. I have friends who fall into both categories, and for me it would be the people requesting it that would decide for me whether I'd roll my eyes, or contribute :). Make sense?

I too am surprised that nobody gave any gifts, regardless of the fact that that's what you requested. Unless I misunderstood. I think it may have been a better idea if it was decided upon before the reception you had. My other thought was why not save on your own? My wife and I put money aside every week in a vacation fund envelope. It adds up quickly, and vacations seems almost free. $5000 also seems a bit much for what you're describing. My wife and I did a cruise in Europe, and a a few days in Rome and Venice for less than that.

My vote went to carrots.
Click to expand...

Both of us are ones to help anyone anytime, but won't ask for help when we do actually need it. $5k probably is a little steep, although air/hotel/car will be around $3k. We're not fancy, so it'll go fairly inexpensive but still.....a weekin Cali isn't cheap.


DiabolusInMusic said:
It is beyond "tacky" to ask for gifts in my opinion.

Who the hell gets gifts for people that are on their second wedding anyways? That is tacky in and of itself. I am just assuming you were both previously married because of the Brady Bunch of kids.
Click to expand...

My second, her first. I would tend to agree with you, and so has most of her family. She didn't have any of the usual new bride stuff. Unfortunately, my family didn't step up either. Hell, we didn't get any help with the wedding or reception either. Ever seen a woman in a wedding dress pulling food out of the oven???? Bit infuriating.
 
#18
to the OP -- People have put a "money tree" at wedding receptions for a long time. Creating a crowd-funding link online is no different than that money tree. Set it up, then put a link for it in the reception/party invitation.
 
#20
MJ5150 said:
What seems tacky to me is how you flipped from 'we don't need or want anything' to 'hey, wanna pay for our vacation?'
Maybe if this was planned out ahead of time and everyone knew the deal, it wouldn't seem odd to me.
-Mike
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was thinking, since it seems as though it will be deemed an afterthought to call it a honeymoon. You have 7 kids between you, surely you'd be fine with 6. See what you can get for the runt of the litter on Craigslist. Just thinking outside the box.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hdracer

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back