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How do you deal with drunks?

#21
Had some recent experiences with drunks:

1. Big fat hairy sweaty guy in a tank top jumps on stage. Ignore him. He stays. Guitarist leans over and says "get off the stage". He doesn't. He starts dancing around teh guitarists pedalboard. He's shoved off by the guitarist. Gear protection, after all. Similar note: a dude standing in front of the stage reaches over and tries to press buttons on the pedalboard. That's an instant arm-stomping from the guitarist.

2. Drunk chicks on stage. Bigger boobies ones are cool, no doubt. However, one picks up a spare guitar on a stand and starts "air guitaring" it. Its a Paul Reed Smith, not cool. Have to yell: "Put it down, and get off." Of course, she thinks we're ********, but its gear protection time.

3. Just this past saturday, drunk dude in front of the singer. Singer is playing acoustic and mic is on a stand. Drunkguy keeps reaching for the neck of the acoustic to strum it in the middle of the song. Singer can't get away since the mic is there. He never quite hits the guitar, but he keeps trying, and its annoying the singer who really wasn't in a position at the time to do anything about it. After several minutes, I have to walk over and yell "stop it". Guy's pissed, thinks I'm an ass. I was an ass. I was angry at him and shouldn't have done it. Singer could have kicked him if he saw fit.

My view: always try to be nice. Immediately cease to be nice if gear is in danger, or if their dancing around knocking mic stands over.
 
#22
Eric Moesle said:
Had some recent experiences with drunks:

1. Big fat hairy sweaty guy in a tank top jumps on stage. Ignore him. He stays. Guitarist leans over and says "get off the stage". He doesn't. He starts dancing around teh guitarists pedalboard. He's shoved off by the guitarist. Gear protection, after all. Similar note: a dude standing in front of the stage reaches over and tries to press buttons on the pedalboard. That's an instant arm-stomping from the guitarist.

2. Drunk chicks on stage. Bigger boobies ones are cool, no doubt. However, one picks up a spare guitar on a stand and starts "air guitaring" it. Its a Paul Reed Smith, not cool. Have to yell: "Put it down, and get off." Of course, she thinks we're ********, but its gear protection time.

3. Just this past saturday, drunk dude in front of the singer. Singer is playing acoustic and mic is on a stand. Drunkguy keeps reaching for the neck of the acoustic to strum it in the middle of the song. Singer can't get away since the mic is there. He never quite hits the guitar, but he keeps trying, and its annoying the singer who really wasn't in a position at the time to do anything about it. After several minutes, I have to walk over and yell "stop it". Guy's pissed, thinks I'm an ass. I was an ass. I was angry at him and shouldn't have done it. Singer could have kicked him if he saw fit.

My view: always try to be nice. Immediately cease to be nice if gear is in danger, or if their dancing around knocking mic stands over.
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I love how we're the jerks when they're trying to touch and grab us. I can't imagine ever doing that to a band regardless of how drunk I might be.
 
#24
i still say 'kill em all'.

don't ever, EVER, EVER, EVER try to touch my stuff. if u do, your life will become a raging sea. i will not speak to drunks, i refuse to be nice to drunks, i'll ignore them to the point where they touch my stuff. then i'll put a pretty decent effort into trying not to let them breathe ever again.
 
#26
Eric Moesle said:
Had some recent experiences with drunks:

1. Big fat hairy sweaty guy in a tank top jumps on stage. Ignore him. He stays. Guitarist leans over and says "get off the stage". He doesn't. He starts dancing around teh guitarists pedalboard. He's shoved off by the guitarist. Gear protection, after all. Similar note: a dude standing in front of the stage reaches over and tries to press buttons on the pedalboard. That's an instant arm-stomping from the guitarist.

2. Drunk chicks on stage. Bigger boobies ones are cool, no doubt. However, one picks up a spare guitar on a stand and starts "air guitaring" it. Its a Paul Reed Smith, not cool. Have to yell: "Put it down, and get off." Of course, she thinks we're ********, but its gear protection time.

3. Just this past saturday, drunk dude in front of the singer. Singer is playing acoustic and mic is on a stand. Drunkguy keeps reaching for the neck of the acoustic to strum it in the middle of the song. Singer can't get away since the mic is there. He never quite hits the guitar, but he keeps trying, and its annoying the singer who really wasn't in a position at the time to do anything about it. After several minutes, I have to walk over and yell "stop it". Guy's pissed, thinks I'm an ass. I was an ass. I was angry at him and shouldn't have done it. Singer could have kicked him if he saw fit.

My view: always try to be nice. Immediately cease to be nice if gear is in danger, or if their dancing around knocking mic stands over.
Click to expand...


I honestly don't understand these people. I don't care how drunk I am or what drugs I'm on, I would never reach for an instrument or get on stage. It's like one of the ten commandments. :rollno:
 
#28
Stinsok said:
Some drunks feel the need to enhance your performance by adding their vocals. Happens about 75% of the time we play "You never even call me by my name."
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We've had that happen. Some drunk *&#% will get on the stage and actually take the mike out of the singer's hands!!!!! No respect. Read my thread here about what we do for protection.
 
#29
Whatever they do, make sure you say, "DUDE!!! You've gotta sign our mailing list! Have you signed it yet? It's right over by the merch table! Pick up a shirt while you're at it, they're only $15!

A. He'll spend the next fifteen minutes trying to write legibly...failing miserably...and trying not to look like a ******** 2nd grader in front of the groupie you've got manning the mailing list.

B. Once he's there, she can talk him into buying a shirt...and I don't care how drunk someone is...I'll listen to all their BS if it means $15.

C. When you've got his email or home address, you now have the power to disturb HIM while HE's at work or at home...see how he likes it when someone f*&%ks up his business.

D. If he's totally wasted, he'll get thrown in the tank for the night...WEARING YOUR SHIRT! You're next show will have whores and winos and crazy college kids.

Repeat the process at every subsequent show.
 
#31
Mo'Phat said:
Whatever they do, make sure you say, "DUDE!!! You've gotta sign our mailing list! Have you signed it yet? It's right over by the merch table! Pick up a shirt while you're at it, they're only $15!

A. He'll spend the next fifteen minutes trying to write legibly...failing miserably...and trying not to look like a ******** 2nd grader in front of the groupie you've got manning the mailing list.

B. Once he's there, she can talk him into buying a shirt...and I don't care how drunk someone is...I'll listen to all their BS if it means $15.

C. When you've got his email or home address, you now have the power to disturb HIM while HE's at work or at home...see how he likes it when someone f*&%ks up his business.

D. If he's totally wasted, he'll get thrown in the tank for the night...WEARING YOUR SHIRT! You're next show will have whores and winos and crazy college kids.

Repeat the process at every subsequent show.
Click to expand...

Dude, seriously, you are a genius. I've got my program for my next shlew of shows.
 
#33
Eric Moesle said:
Had some recent experiences with drunks:

1. Big fat hairy sweaty guy in a tank top jumps on stage. Ignore him. He stays. Guitarist leans over and says "get off the stage". He doesn't. He starts dancing around teh guitarists pedalboard. He's shoved off by the guitarist. Gear protection, after all. Similar note: a dude standing in front of the stage reaches over and tries to press buttons on the pedalboard. That's an instant arm-stomping from the guitarist.

2. Drunk chicks on stage. Bigger boobies ones are cool, no doubt. However, one picks up a spare guitar on a stand and starts "air guitaring" it. Its a Paul Reed Smith, not cool. Have to yell: "Put it down, and get off." Of course, she thinks we're ********, but its gear protection time.

3. Just this past saturday, drunk dude in front of the singer. Singer is playing acoustic and mic is on a stand. Drunkguy keeps reaching for the neck of the acoustic to strum it in the middle of the song. Singer can't get away since the mic is there. He never quite hits the guitar, but he keeps trying, and its annoying the singer who really wasn't in a position at the time to do anything about it. After several minutes, I have to walk over and yell "stop it". Guy's pissed, thinks I'm an ass. I was an ass. I was angry at him and shouldn't have done it. Singer could have kicked him if he saw fit.

My view: always try to be nice. Immediately cease to be nice if gear is in danger, or if their dancing around knocking mic stands over.
Click to expand...

Note to self: Never gig in Columbus :D
 
#34
About 5 seconds before this guy was removed...

oej_fan.jpg
 
#35
cassanova said:
Most times the person is complimenting you/the band so what I'll do usually just say "thank you" to them, then politly excuse myself by telling them I have to talk with another band member, the club owner, or I need to use the rest room.
Click to expand...
:D
cassanova , this is very good advice !!

do not beat up a drunk { he can't really feel the punches anyway }.
also , this causes the bar owner and patrons to think less of you and the band ... jmo .
when all else fails , tell the bartender to get this s.o.b. out of the bar , or the police will be called ... :eyebrow:

edit : gear protection , yah , i gotta agree this is very important ...
i think most drunks are just looking for some sort of attention , look at the guy sitting on the band stand { not really hurting anything , just being a typical , annoying drunk } ...
 
#36
Our last gig I was cornered by a drunk as I was walking to the bar. He was complimenting our singer and he says "you know, I'm a singer too!" I am thinking "Oh crap!" he wants to get up and sing. He doesn't ask to get on stage but instead starts singing a medley of old country songs to me. I had to use the old " the manager wants to talk to me" line. I thanked him for coming and slipped away no harm/no foul.
 
#37
Most times they don't require any head kicking. Just humor them because they are in fact, customers.

But yeah, when they become abusive to you or your gear and don't settle down when asked, then they deserve whatever befalls them.

Always a good idea to let the venue deal with them if possible though. It may sound really rock and roll, to dispense the ass kicking yourself, but it also opens your band up to liability issues if you hurt them.
 
#38
Another vote for "Humour them and they'll go away".

Of course there's the odd tool who won't, in which case I use the microphone for a line I actually borrowed from Les Claypool:-

"Dude I'm gonna ask you nicely, just once. If I have to ask you again, wellllll...... I'm affraid I'm gonna have to be a real a$$ about it........" - then you just stare without finishing the sentence. They usually get the message and slink away with one eye on you and the other of the security guys.
 
#39
One way to deal with drunks that want a part of the action is to take a chunk of one set and ask anyone who desires to come up and sing "Born to Be Wild." I don't mind in the least playing that one poorly since I hate having to play it at all, and most likely the drunks will collapse from trying to sing and remember the lyrics at the same time. It also eats up about fifteen to twenty minutes of a set. You can pan it out longer by having a competition if there are more drunks that want in on the game. Oh, yeah, use your grungiest SM-57 in case the drunk blows chunks instead of a gasket, and set the mic as far forward as possible.
 
#40
They aren't fun to deal with, but they are paying customers. If you play bar gigs you will run into them. I had a really really drunk girl want to talk to me while I was singing one time. Whenever I paused for a breath I told her I would talk when we were on break. She would take that and started banging on my mic stand so the mic would hit me in the mouth. I finally had enough. I stopped singing while the band vamped, i had her sit on the stage so I could serenade her. I then proceeded to change every word in the song I was doing to make it very very uncomplimentary to her. She had no idea that everyone in the bar was cracking up laughing AT her.

Her friends finally came and got her off the stage and took her home to save her further embarassment. The bar owner and bouncers all bought me a drink since I had solved their problem for them. And the band went over huge, we took care of the problem and no one was hurt nor did any gear get busted and everyone had fun. They're all people and the all have ***holes. Some of them just like to show theirs off more than others.
 

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