I was bullied through all of grade school and middle school. In high school, I started lifting weights and playing music. The combination of those two things gave me some much needed self confidence, and about 70% of the bullying subsided right there. In college, I started taking martial arts classes 3 nights a week. This went on for almost 5 years, well into grad school. Somewhere in there, something happened: people either stopped bullying me entirely, or I failed to notice or care. There were no epic fights, no swaggering stories worthy of recounting on the internet, no bully beatdowns, etc. It just stopped.
Personally, I think I just ceased to be afraid. I knew then (and know now) that 6'2" and 180 lbs still equals a tall, skinny guy who could easily find himself outmatched in a fight by a heavier, stouter opponent. But I think fear and vulnerability is something that bullies have a sense of, kind of the way dogs do. And like any other skill set/attribute in the world, the only way to change that is little by little, by daily practice over a period of years, in such small increments that you don't even notice the changes happening.
Flash forward 20 years from those college days, and I found myself married to a woman who has been diagnosed with MS (and whose self esteem took an understandably huge hit with the diagnosis), and a 7 year old son. Immediately upon entering school, my son starts getting bullied. I talked to my wife, and we decided to all enroll in jiu jitsu classes together (actually, the kids' classes are separate, but it's still a family fight night 2 nights a week). My son and I started taking extra Kempo classes during our "off hours" on the same nights shortly after that. Most of the classes are taught by police officers (they own the academy).
While my son still gets bullied occasionally, it doesn't bother him as much these days. He has only needed to use any of the MA stuff once, but just the fact that he knows it's there puts him in a better frame of mind about it, and he worries a lot less. I hope we can all keep at it until he gets to or (better yet) through high school. If he does, I bet the bullies will look for easier targets even if they don't know anything about his training or skill set. It will be in his eyes and in his walk at that point. I have noticed incremental but similar changes in my wife, even though given her physical limitations and issues she's not likely to be able to put up too much of a fight against a larger opponent. Still, attitude matters!
On the other side, though, the officers who teach the classes often use hypothetical run ins with bullies in the kids' training. i was surprised to find that the head instructor - who is a SWAT team trainer here locally and one seriously bad mammajamma to boot - advises the kids to defend themselves only when they have to, and to report bullying to the proper authorities first and foremost when these things happen related to their schools. I think that's great, and just as it should be.