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how to address bullying

#41
Highschool tuesday i wore my ROTC uniform it was required as part of class. tray got tipped in my lap ... he accepted my offer to settle the matter outside away from the cameras that were inside the school. he rounded the corner and mid-word as he was about to say something i hit the face 2 times he went down holding his face he got a couple kicks in the gut and i went to class.

getting pulled out of class by the colonel and given a handshake for standing up for myself was something ill never forget.... officially he was there to escort me to the principal and i spent the next week in the Colonel's office doing my school work and taking inventory of all the ROTC crap.

i did take a lot of crap when i was younger... i remember "nerd raging" a couple times. Telling the nearest adult alway's just seemed to get me in trouble with the bully.
 
#43
Tituscrow said:
Absolutely not. It's a statement about the human condition. Individually, we can try and deal with it on a personal level. Collectively, as a species, its here to stay.
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i disagree. the "might makes right" attitude has been excised from modern culture in most areas of interpersonal relationships where it once was prevalent - with regard to women, indigenous peoples, etc.

what had to happen first, however, was that people needed to lose their tolerance for the behavior. unfortunately that has yet to happen with regard to adolescent bullying, although maybe the time is coming.
 
#44
I was bullied.

I was beaten with a pipe while they laughed . I was 8 , they were probably 16 or so...

And they left me there...

My dad took me and a gun and looked for them. ...

I'm glad we didn't find them . I still have my dad. I think he would have killed them

I never understood why someone would get enjoyment out of an act like that?

I have taught my own kids to defend themselves when need be . And they have .....

Bullies need treatment so they can change , and if they can't they deserve a pitiful life.

I want zero pity..im over it but never will forget it ... Bullies Suck ass
 
#46
john turner said:
you know, the last time i was successfully bullied was almost 30 years ago, and it still makes me mad. i can still remember they guys' names who engaged in it, at least the ones who did the most often. isn't that pathetic? :hmm:
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Last week I saw my bully, I was bullied by this guy for a year, every single day. He was huge, is still huge but I'd go ballistic, I'd rip his eyes out if he tries anything today.

There is no getting away from it no matter how many years pass by. After seeing him, that day was over for me. Some scars never heal.

As for how to take measures for your kids, bullying can only stop with answering with the same language. Talking to authorities, to the bully's parents etc. never solves anything.

Lets face it, authorities are nothing but failures trying to be some one, most like had a childhood like the bully and will favor them or don't give **** about the whole situation.

If a kid's a bully chances are close to 100% the kid's coming from a disfunctional family. Talking to a disfunctional ***hole solves nothing.

An old school baseball bat, a pistol uncovered at the belly etc. would be much, much more effective.

But this is coming from a person that's been scarred with years and years of constant bullying so probably I can't think rationally on this matter. Violence only brings more violence...:scowl:
 
#47
I got bullied a little in school, very little, but on a couple of occasions. I was always quiet, most people don't even notice you're there to bully unless you make noise.

My solution was to ignore them or be nice to them. Ignore them in public, or together, but be nice to them in an individual 1 on 1 basis, where you share a class or something, and sooner or later most people will come around. Once two or three people in a group think you're not all that bad, the attitude of the group will change, and before you know it they'll leave you alone.

Take insults as compliments, watch it throw people off guard. When you respond with mild manners and a friendly attitude instead of the fear they expect, most bullies are completely at a loss. I use the same attitude in douchebags in bars etc. and it's worked out pretty well in my experience.



I don't believe there is a solution to bullying, it's an integral part of human nature and I believe it is here to stay, all you can do to fight bullying in society is not be a bully yourself.

Oh, and when it comes to cyber bullying, just turn your damn phone off.
 
#48
Simo98 said:
I got bullied a little in school, very little, but on a couple of occasions. I was always quiet, most people don't even notice you're there to bully unless you make noise.

My solution was to ignore them or be nice to them. Ignore them in public, or together, but be nice to them in an individual 1 on 1 basis, where you share a class or something, and sooner or later most people will come around. Once two or three people in a group think you're not all that bad, the attitude of the group will change, and before you know it they'll leave you alone.

Take insults as compliments, watch it throw people off guard. When you respond with mild manners and a friendly attitude instead of the fear they expect, most bullies are completely at a loss. I use the same attitude in douchebags in bars etc. and it's worked out pretty well in my experience.
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You haven't been bullied on a regular basis by sociopaths, psychopaths have you? This doesn't work like that. Be kind to them and you're weaker, harder the punches become.

Smiling only makes an excellent target, it's like the "bulls-eye" on your face for them. Some people have no heart, compassion and are simply cruel. They take joy of others' suffering.

I don't believe there is a solution to bullying, it's an integral part of human nature and I believe it is here to stay, all you can do to fight bullying in society is not be a bully yourself.
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There is a solution: "controllable bullies that bully the bullies, that give them a taste of their own medicine.":p

Oh, and when it comes to cyber bullying, just turn your damn phone off.
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True words. But if this has reached to the point of cyber public humiliation, there really isn't much to do I'm afraid.
 
#49
john turner said:
i disagree. the "might makes right" attitude has been excised from modern culture in most areas of interpersonal relationships where it once was prevalent - with regard to women, indigenous peoples, etc.

what had to happen first, however, was that people needed to lose their tolerance for the behavior. unfortunately that has yet to happen with regard to adolescent bullying, although maybe the time is coming.
Click to expand...

The problem comes with people not being overly rational in the first place, even less so during their teens.

Also, some of the "might makes right" attitudes are more deeply ingrained, many are indoctrinated by society, some are more genetic, more primal.


Indiana Mike said:
I was bullied.

I was beaten with a pipe while they laughed . I was 8 , they were probably 16 or so...

And they left me there...
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Wow . . .

I wouldn't say that's bullying, that's far beyond bullying, that's attempted murder of a child. Glad you turned out alright dude (and that your dad didn't end up with a murder rap!).
 
#50
My parents certainly never taught me "might makes right", they encouraged me not to be that way especially since I was always bigger than anyone in my class.

I think I picked up on that idea from video games, TV, and heavy metal music. :)

-Mike
 
#51
john turner said:
what do you folks think can be done to address bullying? with the noteriety that it is getting lately due at least in part to a few recent cases of bullying resulting in suicides, it seems to be a focus of a lot of folks' attentions - i know it's been on my mind a lot, mainly in relation to my kids and what they may have to endure - but i'm not hearing any specific solutions that i think would be effective.

personally, as someone who was very heavily bullied almost daily between the ages of 12 and 15, i think the only way to really successfully stop a bully is having authority figures outting them as such, publicly - sort of the "day in the stockade"-style punishment. coupled with some humiliating fact about them publicly shared (let's face it, teenagers all have some humiliating skeletons they don't want out of their closets) and i think most bullies' attitudes and behaviors would be changed.

instead, too many folks, especially grown men in positions of authority over kids, such as in schools or coaches of teams, allow, encourage and even reward this kind of behavior. this perspective has to change, i think.

you know, the last time i was successfully bullied was almost 30 years ago, and it still makes me mad. i can still remember they guys' names who engaged in it, at least the ones who did the most often. isn't that pathetic? :hmm:

even more pathetic is one episode i remember back around that time (i was probably 15 or thereabouts) when i witnessed someone being bullied, and having been bullied myself (by the same folks iirc), you'd think i'd have stepped up and helped him. but no, i just stood there and watched him get beaten, thankful that it wasn't me.

i still wish i could do something to somehow balance the scales about that.
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A guy in my homeroom bullied a lot of people in Freshman year and if it had come down to it, he could have kicked some serious butt. This was freshman year and he looked like he had been using steroids- he was seriously ripped. I got tired of it and when he told me to come to where he was sitting, I didn't and that's what it took to get him to stop. Even if it doesn't come to violence, they need someone to stand up to them- they're going to pick on the ones who don't resist, not push back.

He was about 42 when he died- I heard it was a heart attack.

Two other guys were a huge PITA for me in 7th grade through freshman year. Once I became bigger, they left me alone.

They took themselves out.

Kids who are bullied need to get together and talk about it. Personally, I think these kids (the ones who are bullied) should take self-defense training. It's a good way to instill self-confidence and gives them tools that can be used for any time in their life but, if they're like many victims of bullying, they're intelligent enough to know that it shouldn't be used in a bad way.

I think it would be interesting to see the reaction from a bully if a really, really wimpy kid fought back like a hockey player. THAT might send a message- "Don't assume you'll win".
 
#52
Tituscrow said:
Absolutely not. It's a statement about the human condition. Individually, we can try and deal with it on a personal level. Collectively, as a species, its here to stay.

Concessionary and pessimistic? Possibly. Realistic? Definitely.
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First, and foremost, humans are animals and animals have dominant & submissive types. Watch dogs and if you have them where you live, cats. There are always some that cower or go away when certain others are around and others that walk up and take what they want. Humans are no different in this respect. The difference is that we developed the ability to communicate with others in various ways. Even submissive animals will gang up on a stranger, though.
 
#58
Back in my day, if someone was bullying you then you'd do what was needed...a good old fashioned fist fight...and then it was over regardless of who won. Even if the bully won you were now considered old news and he'd move on from you. If you beat him up it seemed like he'd try again but as long as you stood your ground he eventually retreated. That's how it use to be with me, but that was a differant time. These days if you're bullied and you came out the winner then the chances are the bully is coming back with a gang of his friends or with a gun. Or both.

I wish I had some advice, but it's so screwd up out there because it's so differant than when I was a kid. I'm all for taking a stand against intimidation and for defending yourself with your fists if needed. But these days holding your ground can get you killed.
 
#60
I would take a whooping to give one to a bully anyday and have done so in the past. It's true howver that kids today have very powerful handguns and will pull the trigger without conscious.
 

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