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How to tell my parents?
- Thread starter SMILEYSIXX
- Start date
Here are a few links you may want to check out:
~Going "pro"
Nashville's Roy Vogt's TB thread
Becoming a session player
1 Going pro
2
The musician's life
1 Expectations
2
4.COLLEGE MUSIC
So you want to be a music major?
Auditioning for jazz band
Audition dilemma
~Going "pro"
Nashville's Roy Vogt's TB thread
Becoming a session player
1 Going pro
2
The musician's life
1 Expectations
2
4.COLLEGE MUSIC
So you want to be a music major?
Auditioning for jazz band
Audition dilemma
Another thing to consider is this...
My father is a pro mandolin player and for awhile thats the only way he made money. He didnt make alot but he got by. What he told me is that after awhile his love of music just became a 'job'.
I'm not saying that every pro has that experience, but I'm glad I have a career with a degree outside of music. When I go to play, I really enjoy what I'm doing without any pressure to take the art form I love and try to make money out of it.
My father is a pro mandolin player and for awhile thats the only way he made money. He didnt make alot but he got by. What he told me is that after awhile his love of music just became a 'job'.
I'm not saying that every pro has that experience, but I'm glad I have a career with a degree outside of music. When I go to play, I really enjoy what I'm doing without any pressure to take the art form I love and try to make money out of it.
Here are some wise words from Damian Erskine:
http://www.notreble.com/buzz/2009/0...es-it-take-to-become-a-professional-musician/
Sorry if anyone has already posted this.
RE: this link
I think he meant "scratch the floor of the middle class" in # 5, not the "ceiling."
No..wait.... he said he's still on # 4.
He's in for a rude awakening. ;o)
Yes, parents may seem to be total downers - but you should also consider where that first bass came from, who financed that amp and who let you convert their 'rumpus room' into a 'band room' - then consider trying to understand their concerns before jumping on the 'parents are just out to crush my dreams' bandwagon.
Sure I could be happy doing something else I guess. But, I choose not to. Narrow as it may be.
I absolutely agree. Making music your job is not for everyone, I am sure.
I'd be careful committing to a pure music program with the intent of working in the industry. Ask anyone who has experience with the industry, even a fairly large local music scene, and you'll find it may not be quite as fun as you think. I went into school with the full intent of coming out with a music business major that would allow me to pursue a career as a producer; it's really not that simple. Once business and pleasure were mixed, there wasn't much left.
You may love music, but eventually you get to that point where you're forcing yourself to play the same thing you've played 5 nights that week already because you just can't capture that on-stage buzz tonight; or you're laying down or mixing some stupid track for a local TV commercial; or you're trying to figure out how to keep things afloat when recording voiceovers for some company's how-to videos isn't paying the bills.
I'm not saying don't go for it; I'm saying be careful. I love music probably as much as you do, but there's no way I'd try to dig my way up through the industry, it would destroy my appreciation of the thing I love the most. Some people can do it, keep their little music flame burning through it all, but it's difficult, and even if you do, it's not going to be the same. I've kept it as very active hobby; and that's working just fine.
You may love music, but eventually you get to that point where you're forcing yourself to play the same thing you've played 5 nights that week already because you just can't capture that on-stage buzz tonight; or you're laying down or mixing some stupid track for a local TV commercial; or you're trying to figure out how to keep things afloat when recording voiceovers for some company's how-to videos isn't paying the bills.
I'm not saying don't go for it; I'm saying be careful. I love music probably as much as you do, but there's no way I'd try to dig my way up through the industry, it would destroy my appreciation of the thing I love the most. Some people can do it, keep their little music flame burning through it all, but it's difficult, and even if you do, it's not going to be the same. I've kept it as very active hobby; and that's working just fine.
If you're sure that music is what you want to study, then you have to understand that you're going to have to pay a price for it. You'll need to be financially emancipated from you parents, if they're not going to be an option for you. And I doubt you qualify for any assistance, if you are still a dependent.
Are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with you father, over your music? That sounds like it might happen.
Or, you could start college as a Liberal Arts Major. Prove your resolve to your father, and maybe he'll soften to the idea of a transfer later in your college career.....
Are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with you father, over your music? That sounds like it might happen.
Or, you could start college as a Liberal Arts Major. Prove your resolve to your father, and maybe he'll soften to the idea of a transfer later in your college career.....
True statement, that's what I have, my mummy finances 2/8 of my gear, just as presents, because I never buy clothes.
But when she says: you're not going to be an artist, then it doesn't make sense to me. Why did she finance me with the amps and basses? I'ts a shame that parents don't see the difference between a lazy soab and a real artist, they think every musician isn't successful. Well it's more dependant about how you do it, then what you're about to do. Choose for yourself, not for others.
Haha, sorry for my oh I feel smart now words.
Im out!
Cheers
All I am saying is that putting such narrow parameters on happiness almost guarantees unhappiness.
And don't underestimate how making something your JOB can suck the joy right out of it. Most people how believe that turning something they're passionate about as a hobby into their career is the path to everyday joy and sunshine are either young and haven't had a real job yet or pretty delusional about what a job really is.
A job is something you have to do everyday and more often than not is influenced heavily by other people who don't share your view, passion or ideas about how it should be done.
Slotting music in the 'job' column almost ensures that you'll start seeing the downside of a career in music a lot faster than you'll find the fountain of joy you thought you'd find.
But as anyone will tell you, if you really want it, you can't get there by NOT trying - so go for it - but go for it with your eyes wide open and don't tie all your happiness to that one, narrow outcome.
Just food for thought.
Like many of us here..I wanted to be a full time bass player and do nothing else...then reality set in (Mortgage, Car Payments etc...) I do not have formal training from a 4 year music college but have studied with many different teachers and love playing bass.
I was working locally and had some great paying gigs mixed in with a bunch of low paying shows and at the end of the day it was not enough to live a very modest life style. The financial pressure of keeping up with my finances ruined the music for me and I decided to get a regular job. I have no regrets and to my suprise, I have met wonderful musicians at my jobs, many who have toured on national level and have also recorded as well..many of them still play, many have retired from playing ...many like me who wanted to be full time musicians but never got the break...
I have read through many of the posts here and great advice has been posted... you might be one of the lucky ones who does get to live the dream and you need prepare yourself for this opportunity..if and when it presents itself. You can also become a music teacher which is a nice way to earn a living......you are young and not married and can recover..and take a different path if things dont work out in the music biz.
I am very fortunate..I am in my 50's and play out every weekend.... I still work the day grind and its not that bad if you have good colleagues....
Good Luck with your decision.
I was working locally and had some great paying gigs mixed in with a bunch of low paying shows and at the end of the day it was not enough to live a very modest life style. The financial pressure of keeping up with my finances ruined the music for me and I decided to get a regular job. I have no regrets and to my suprise, I have met wonderful musicians at my jobs, many who have toured on national level and have also recorded as well..many of them still play, many have retired from playing ...many like me who wanted to be full time musicians but never got the break...
I have read through many of the posts here and great advice has been posted... you might be one of the lucky ones who does get to live the dream and you need prepare yourself for this opportunity..if and when it presents itself. You can also become a music teacher which is a nice way to earn a living......you are young and not married and can recover..and take a different path if things dont work out in the music biz.
I am very fortunate..I am in my 50's and play out every weekend.... I still work the day grind and its not that bad if you have good colleagues....
Good Luck with your decision.
Hey, you never can tell. You just may be the next Lennon/McCartney rolled into one! (Yeah...dating myself). So in that sense pursue your dream, by all means.
But DO have a solid backup plan. (Plan 'B'). The sad thruth is that I know MANY players/songwriters who are brilliant, who've been at it for years, who are better than I'll ever be, who've tried every means to get heard with no luck at all. I've seen thier heartache as well.
Not at all trying to discourage you, just remembering what my dad always told me:
"It's better to have a plan and fail than having no plan at all."
Stay grounded, keep both eyes open, best of luck and may God be with you.
But DO have a solid backup plan. (Plan 'B'). The sad thruth is that I know MANY players/songwriters who are brilliant, who've been at it for years, who are better than I'll ever be, who've tried every means to get heard with no luck at all. I've seen thier heartache as well.
Not at all trying to discourage you, just remembering what my dad always told me:
"It's better to have a plan and fail than having no plan at all."
Stay grounded, keep both eyes open, best of luck and may God be with you.
Ouch dude. I'm not dumb or maybe I am. I appreciate your concern for me. Thanks for the advice.
Sorry man. Wasn't intending to call you dumb. It's a fact that younger people (maybe not you) simply don't have enough life experience to know the downside to chasing dreams.
The 'delusional' comment sounds harsh - but I meant it to be taken as 'grand ideas about life and happiness that are founded on very little and very sheltered life experience'.
It's very easy to be passionate about things living with mom and dad and dreaming about not living with mom and dad. Again, not targeting you or anyone in particular.
I had a standoff with my dad, come college selection time. I stuck to my guns and said if you don't want to support me going through art school, that's cool - I'll figure out a way and go do it myself.
He blinked. (YMMV.)
Art school set me up nicely for a career in pizza delivery. :scowl: So music school seemed like the next logical step. (Duh, whee!!
) (This time around, I paid for everything.)
For me, the school setting was the catalyst that got me playing - I would have likely fizzled without it. Having said that, after getting out, I have never once ever had a bandleader or client ask me to show my transcripts.
Years later, strangely I find myself employed in both original fields of study. The majority of my income is from gigs, but I also work days as a glassblower. (And come to think of it, my bosses there never once asked to see my Bachelor's certificate.)
I don't make a ton of money, that's for sure. But during a time when a lot of folks who went with the program are getting laid off, I've managed to keep cruising along just fine, doing what I enjoy.
Be advised I live in a studio apartment and drive a 1985 Nissan. I feel snug as a bug in a rug. But if the whole middle class thing is a priority, you'll likely need to shed a lot and learn to network like Ricky Minor. (... or go ahead and make Music Performance your minor.)
Good luck and enjoy the journey!
He blinked. (YMMV.)
Art school set me up nicely for a career in pizza delivery. :scowl: So music school seemed like the next logical step. (Duh, whee!!
) (This time around, I paid for everything.)For me, the school setting was the catalyst that got me playing - I would have likely fizzled without it. Having said that, after getting out, I have never once ever had a bandleader or client ask me to show my transcripts.
Years later, strangely I find myself employed in both original fields of study. The majority of my income is from gigs, but I also work days as a glassblower. (And come to think of it, my bosses there never once asked to see my Bachelor's certificate.
)I don't make a ton of money, that's for sure. But during a time when a lot of folks who went with the program are getting laid off, I've managed to keep cruising along just fine, doing what I enjoy.
Be advised I live in a studio apartment and drive a 1985 Nissan. I feel snug as a bug in a rug. But if the whole middle class thing is a priority, you'll likely need to shed a lot and learn to network like Ricky Minor. (... or go ahead and make Music Performance your minor.)
Good luck and enjoy the journey!
I was in your shoes at one time. I wanted to be a musician full-time, but, as others have said, perhaps not with as much passion as you have. My Dad recommended against it. He didn't say no, he just said that it was a hard way to make a living. And I think he was right.
I still wound up taking several wrong turns and detours through life, but I'll spare you the details. I haven't exactly risen to the top of the IT world, but I have made a reasonable living. I'm not sure that I could say that had I kept at music as a career. The best part, though, is that I never had to give music up, I just didn't have to rely on it for income. It has always been the number one hobby. My 'sacred' place, as tZer put it very well.
When I started out in IT all I had was an Apple II. It was a hobby. I loved it, computers were the coolest things going, and there was money to be made in IT. Passion AND income potential. So, I chose that as my career path. Would you like to know what I think of IT now? Computers are no longer a hobby, no longer fun. That passion has been snuffed out.
But I still have my sacred place.
Good luck, whichever path you take.
I still wound up taking several wrong turns and detours through life, but I'll spare you the details. I haven't exactly risen to the top of the IT world, but I have made a reasonable living. I'm not sure that I could say that had I kept at music as a career. The best part, though, is that I never had to give music up, I just didn't have to rely on it for income. It has always been the number one hobby. My 'sacred' place, as tZer put it very well.
When I started out in IT all I had was an Apple II. It was a hobby. I loved it, computers were the coolest things going, and there was money to be made in IT. Passion AND income potential. So, I chose that as my career path. Would you like to know what I think of IT now? Computers are no longer a hobby, no longer fun. That passion has been snuffed out.
But I still have my sacred place.
Good luck, whichever path you take.
Ooh, you too!! It's also an excellent path to the janitorial profession! 
Im aiming at a career in music either with my band or as a studio artist, but i'm doing a lever 2 IT Diploma which i want to continue to lever 3 or 4 as a failsafe for if the band idea fails, Always have a fallback option Fortunately my parents seem to be quite supportive of me and my band, especially my mother, and they've managed to appreciate that this is what i wanna do, but know i have a failsafe there too. Just abit of persuasion and proof that this is REALLY what you want to do should work. Good luck to you my friend
Fortunately my parents seem to be quite supportive of me and my band, especially my mother, and they've managed to appreciate that this is what i wanna do, but know i have a failsafe there too. Just abit of persuasion and proof that this is REALLY what you want to do should work. Good luck to you my friend
