I Can't Play Piano

[Space Pickle]

I love jazz. I also find the H Jon Benjamin piano thing hilarious.

 

[brianrost]

if you say you like Black American Music, one can think you like Blues, Jazz, Rap, Hip-Hop, Gospel, Soul, Funk, and maybe more genres.

Why not? They are all related.

Also, do they make pianos where the low notes start on the right side and get higher the farther left one goes? lol

You can get electronic pianos that do that.

 

[doran.dragic]

I understand theory better than the basic level. But, to me, music is about emotion. I want it to make me sad, make me happy, heck even make me angry. I do NOT want it to make me THINK "Oh, I see what he did there with the counterpoint doohicky in the flat 5 Qm diminished/destroyed/scattered smothered and covered chord in the bridge! Brilliant!" Music is not an intellectual pursuit for me. Either it "sounds cool" or it doesn't.

To quote another TB member whose nickname I've forgotten: people don't like what they like, they like what they know. It's very similar when it comes to food. How many people do you know that enjoy Chinese chicken feet, Indonesian balut or other "weird" food? The same could be said about a language. You wouldn't be enjoying a Swedish book if you don't understand Swedish language. You can connect with old jazz music because you've mostly grown up hearing it sound in movies and commercials. "Melodic" jazz that you like shares a lot of similarities with pop and classical music that you're more familiar with so there's a connection established.

We've been trained to feel certain way when we listen to certain kind of music. Feel happy when we hear major, sad when we hear minor, bassoon often plays parts that are considered to be funny and so on and so on. These emotional connection has not been established in your case and it's understandable that it's not appealing to you.

This being said, the way you're describing music is imho not how a master improvisers approach soloing and also what listeners who listen to this type of music are looking for. Then there's interplay and other amazing stuff that doesn't happen in music that's supposed to sound the same every night. Sure, there's intellectual and technical aspects but in my opinion not for a majority of musicians and listeners, even in the genres that are either more abstract or complex. I remember hearing Wayne Shorter with John Patitucci and Brian Blades when I was very young and I couldn't tell you a thing about the music I was listening. I didn't know the songs and have had very little experience in jazz whatsoever (jazz was not listened in our household). But you could feel the energy that the band was playing with. It was electrifying. This is what good performers do in my opinion no matter what the genre is.

You shouldn't feel like you need to defend yourself for not liking certain thing but at the same time I wish people were more open to going out of their comfort zone and try to experience something they don't like after the first 15 minutes. I remember reading that more than 5000 listeners would come to see Ornette Coleman or Sun Ra perform in our country in the 70s and these were students and working people who had no idea about jazz. Maybe not a fair comparison since there was very not so much competition from other forms of entertainment but nevertheless.

Kenny Barron said today's jazz is from/for the head and not the heart roughly. I love playing it, but listening to it can be problematic.

I love Kenny Barron but this is a very lazy take in my opinion. There is SO MUCH different jazz music today, many of it for the heart. Never before has jazz been so differentiated than today. We have all these amazing musicians from all around the world who have studied the tradition but brought something own to the genre. Never ever has music been so accessible as today. If you're not finding stuff that you think is not for the heart than you're not looking heard enough.

 

[Tom Bomb]

Ern Malley couldn't play the piano. That didn't shut him up He wound up being the mythic mut behind "the greatest literary hoax of the twentieth century" — now a legend. Any advertising's good advertising, and all that jazz. It's a strange art. It's a strange world.
​

 

[ardgedee]

I remember reading that more than 5000 listeners would come to see Ornette Coleman or Sun Ra perform in our country in the 70s and these were students and working people who had no idea about jazz. Maybe not a fair comparison since there was very not so much competition from other forms of entertainment but nevertheless.

Out-there music was accessible from the 50s through the 70s in ways that more or less disappeared by the 80s, and it wasn't really until the ubiquity of the internet in the late 90s that anybody anywhere in the US could easily access it again. Public broadcasting frequently showed concerts by mainstream as well as avant-garde jazz musicians. Nat "King" Cole hosted a live jazz show on NBC in the 1950s that featured contemporary bebop musicians (according to legend anyway -- there's no archival footage). John Cage performed on national television in the early 60s. And check out this footage from the Ed Sullivan Show featuring Rahsaan Roland Kirk leading a murderer's row of genius, including Charles Mingus, Roy Haynes and Archie Shepp!

 

[HolmeBass]

Yeah, I'm getting over myself in that regard. Thinking of bop and hard bop as Black American music and letting go of the word jazz is a positive step toward more precise language. Nobody's going to think I'm talking about Kenny G if I tell them I like Black American music. And people talking about "jazz" that's not part of that historic lineage can keep on calling it jazz. I see it as a win-win.

Categories are always difficult. Is Bitches Brew *BAM? Most of the cats on that recording were not black, right?

Was Wayne Shorter black enough to make Weather Report *BAM?

All asked rhetorically. In the end categories are always opinions, and often double-edged swords. While they can help with organizing analysis and provide insight, they are just as liable to obscure cross-category connections.

Brings to mind a quotation I've heard attributed to Duke Ellington: "You have to stop listening in categories. The music is either good or it's bad. The most important thing I look for in a musician is whether he knows how to listen."

But I am not 100% sure Ellington actually said that. I just read it on the internet.

 

[JeezyMcNuggles]

My brother called me out of the blue a moment ago to turn me onto something funny. Comedian/voiceover actor H. Jon Benjamin doesn't play piano. BUT..... He made an album of piano songs. He hired serious musicians to play on it. He has done full concerts. I find this hilarious. Why? Well, I've tried to get into "serious" jazz dozens of times. I really like melodic jazz, and fusion, and soulful jazz. But I just can't get into (ironic term alert) "traditional" or free-form jazz. The solos in particular sound like musical gobbledygook to me. They sound like a contest to see who can squeeze in the most wrong notes and awful timing into one solo. Fans eat that stuff up and say things like "That cat is IN THE ZONE, MAN!!!" I don't get it. I respect that they are some of the most educated musicians on the planet. They can dissect a chord like a 7th grade biology teacher can get after a frog. But it just isn't pleasing to my ears. Period.

To add more fuel to my fire, I sold pianos off and on for about a decade. And I..... seriously.... don't play piano. I was great at selling them. Yes, I'm a musician. So I figured out a few things I could play by ear to demonstrate one pretty effectively. We had a young guy who worked in the store who played the crap out of the piano. Sometimes I would call him over to play for a minute while I talked to the customer about the specs of the piano. (I would tip him out if I made the sale, of course. There is a TON of commission... and profit.... in pianos.) I actually did pretty well faking it for those several years. I won sales contests several times (there were 35 store in the company back then....and I beat out about 40 pianos salesmen/women several times).

I've even played a few simple songs on keys live in band situations. I did a pretty respectable job too. But it was simply by memory and ear. And that band liked to goof off and switch instruments several times during a show.

And, to this day, I can't play piano.


Here's footage of a concert of his in Ohio a few years back. Honestly? I would not have been surprised at all if someone had shared this video with me and told me he was one of the hottest jazz players out there. This is about what jazz piano solos sound like to me anyway. Sign me up for Joe Sample. But I can't get my head around the fringe jazz stuff.

Enjoy!
(26) H JON BENJAMIN Performs "I Cant Play Piano" @ EJ THOMAS HALL - YouTube

Here's an article/interview with him on NPR.
(26) H JON BENJAMIN Performs "I Cant Play Piano" @ EJ THOMAS HALL - YouTube


Now, where did I put that flame suit? I wonder if it still fits. I haven't needed it in a while.

Ah. yes. Here it is. Do your worst.
View attachment 4673771

He's so jazzing.

In the zone!

Dat Feel Doh


Yeah, sounds like a top 20 jazz hit to me too.

 

[Chad Michael]

Paid for piano lessons in my 20's, had the best teacher on the planet, finally got to play some keys on stage around '01 - '02. Can't read worth a crap anymore, was never good at solo - improvising, but still like to play keys. Had my Yamaha DX7 and Ensoniq ESQ1 forever, recently bought a Crumar Mojo 61 and Nord Lead 2x. My keys are begging me for attention and this thread might send me back to them <c:

Jazz - much of it is so random that I cannot latch on to what is happening. However, have a thing for Rippingtons, Spyro Gyra, Yellowjackets, Jeff Kashiwa, Lee Ritenour, Boney James, Brian Culbertson, and a few others. Good thread.

You should at least pretend to love jazz, because people will think you're cool..... you're welcome <c:

 

[two fingers]

At least "He's just not very bright" is dead last in the poll.

 

[Milo's]

I'm a big fan of jazz cabbage.

 

[Ostie]

"Doc, will I be able to play the piano after the surgery?"

 

[PillO]

"Doc, will I be able to play the piano after the surgery?"

I actually used that one. I woke up after shoulder surgery and asked the surgical resident if I would be able to play the piano. He said yes and I told him that it is good news because I couldn't before.

 

[31HZ]

Well, it ain't for everybody.

 

[ElectroVibe]

I actually used that one. I woke up after shoulder surgery and asked the surgical resident if I would be able to play the piano. He said yes and I told him that it is good news because I couldn't before.

Oh that is too funny. I'll bet he did a double take when you said that.

 

[Iristone]

No I can't dance

 

[elgranluis]

IME, anyone can play piano. When I attended university (musical), you had to take 4 semesters of piano , regardless of what instrument you were specializing in. Singers had the worst time at it.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

I used to enjoy (American - the only real) football (playing and watching), but I can't play anymore. In fact, when it comes to playing football, I don't have a leg to stand on!

I still enjoy watching the USFL and XFL (I can't wait until next year and being an old NY METS fan, I am used to the phrase: 'wait 'til next year') though.

 

[Groove Doctor]

Do you like this kind of Jazz @two fingers ?? Popular-Jazz or Jazz-Blues.

Vince Jones is my favourite jazz-crossover artist. He is played on regular radio, TV appearances, Jazz recording artist, headlining artist at Blues Festivals & Jazz Festivals.

Ballad with classic jazz AABA song structure.


Start it at 20 second mark (after jazzy piano intro). Very funky/groovy.


Swinging & bopping beat, very singable melody.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

I actually used that one. I woke up after shoulder surgery and asked the surgical resident if I would be able to play the piano. He said yes and I told him that it is good news because I couldn't before.

I recently got to use it on my prosthician (I think that's the word). She was talking about "After you get your new leg ..."

and I asked her if I'd be able to ski. She's been at it too long though. Her response was: "Do you want to ski?"

I did make my surgeon laugh, on Tuesday, though. I had a follow-up visit to check on problems with my wound and I said: "Doc, I need to talk to you about something" (So help me, God his name is Dr. Jung).

"Doc, I've been dealing with this for about five months now. I've done everything ALL my doctors have told me. I've had time to live like this and think about this and I've decided I want my leg back."

He was speechless, but his eyes did crinkle (denoting a smile because he was wearing a face diaper).

 

[glocke1]

You've been listening to the wrong Jazz music for your taste, that's what I take from your post.

thats the take home for me on that wordy O.P.

He should check out Oliver Nelson, Stan Getz, etc..also..

I get what he's saying though. I like jazz but there is stuff I hear that is considered classic just sounds like cats fighting to me.

There is plenty of great jazz out there OP..try harder.