I finally made up my mind about men!

[john turner]

if dis wants to share some good news, she's entitled to without getting trolled.

respect for all members. if you can't -do- it then get out of the thread.

religious discussion has -no- place in off topic. any continuation along those lines will result in infractions/banning.

 

[Joe Nerve]

the cops show up and everyone goes home.

 

[Sundogue]

Well, as posted in a previous thread, I have finally made up my mind about men! Hallelujah! Praise be!

Now, eric618 is still my eHusband and my TB husband and he is still mega studtacular!

But I have met the love of my life. We met a week ago intending to have a jam session for an upcoming church event (he's a guitard). We ended up playing for about 30 minutes and talking for hours. He is everything I have been looking for and more!

Ya, we already dropped the L-bomb. I wouldn't say love at first sight, but maybe we love at first song as we really rocked out playing together. He'll be moving in soon (he has a kid from a previous marriage so there are some things to take care of first) and we'll move on from there.

I've never been happier or more sure of anything in my life! I'm sure there are those of you who knew within minutes or first few dates that you were dating The One!

So, amongst the swollen font threads and the torturous media news, here's a love story to really make you yack up your lunch!

Wow, cool for you Dis. I've only browsed through this thread, but I can tell you that it happened much the same way with me and my wife. The day we met, we knew. We got engaged one month later and married within the year...and that was seven years ago.

My wife and I are more in love today than the day we met and it just keeps getting better.

Life is meant to be lived, so don't shy away from it. Grab life and get everything you can out of it. If this relationship doesn't work out long term, who cares? At least you lived it to the fullest.

Those who are careful in life aren't living, they are simply existing and reacting to everything around them. No one is getting out of it alive, so no one has anything to lose in life, and everything to gain.

Be happy!

 

[CBRStingray]

...for an upcoming church event....He'll be moving in soon

Heh.

Yes, I was wondering about that too...

 

[CBRStingray]

...And of course we are both Scientologists...

Ah. Nevermind. I guess that would explain my previous surprise.

 

[skaliwag66]

Wow, cool for you Dis. I've only browsed through this thread, but I can tell you that it happened much the same way with me and my wife. The day we met, we knew. We got engaged one month later and married within the year...and that was seven years ago.

My wife and I are more in love today than the day we met and it just keeps getting better.

Life is meant to be lived, so don't shy away from it. Grab life and get everything you can out of it. If this relationship doesn't work out long term, who cares? At least you lived it to the fullest.

Those who are careful in life aren't living, they are simply existing and reacting to everything around them. No one is getting out of it alive, so no one has anything to lose in life, and everything to gain.

Be happy!

This should be the 1st amendment.

 

[disenchant]

What I get from you guys who say "slow down" is pretty much that your saying "You don't really know this person. You've got to get to know him better first." And in the next sentence you say "You don't really now a person until after a long while. You never know when their true self will show." So what's Dis s'posed to do? When does she really know?
I think we can safely assume that she's got a much clearer view of this guy than any of us buffoons, and so her judgement is that much better than ours. Particularly since she was probably rather wary to begin with, given her history.

I'd like to offer up the story of a friend of mine (OK, it's me, I admit). I met this girl who just grabbed my attention, and started hitting on her. After a while I learned she was in a relationship with another dude, but it was falling apart. I kept myself close (stalking? Noooo!), and after a while she dug me. Later, she got an apartment, and I helped her move. When all the stuff was in place I was too tired to go home (I said), so I bunked. Two days later I changed my address officially.

I still haven't left, and that's 11 years ago. We're now married, and have two children of 9 and 7.

Instincts rule! Go, Dis, go!

Awww, thanks! I know stuff like this happens out there and 11 years is AWESOME! I think sometimes you just recognize your soulmate and then you realize that what you had before with others was nothing compared to what you have now and you just know. Here's to many, many, many more happy years!

 

[BAM2352]

i'VE BEEN IN SIMULAR SITUATIONS IN THE PAST & HAD MIXED RESULTS

DO YOUR SELF A FAVOR...SLOW DOWN

 

[disenchant]

Wow, cool for you Dis. I've only browsed through this thread, but I can tell you that it happened much the same way with me and my wife. The day we met, we knew. We got engaged one month later and married within the year...and that was seven years ago.

My wife and I are more in love today than the day we met and it just keeps getting better.

Life is meant to be lived, so don't shy away from it. Grab life and get everything you can out of it. If this relationship doesn't work out long term, who cares? At least you lived it to the fullest.

Those who are careful in life aren't living, they are simply existing and reacting to everything around them. No one is getting out of it alive, so no one has anything to lose in life, and everything to gain.

Be happy!

You reflect my true feelings exactly! Life really is about following your heart and taking chances. No one who was ever "careful" or went at something with anything less than 100% has ever achieved great things. All the innovators, inventors, artists, scientists etc. that truly made a contribution had to step outside the box.

Thanks for sharing your story too, I can see how you could love each other more every day, because that's how I feel now too. I know you will continue in your happiness!

 

[disenchant]

i'VE BEEN IN SIMULAR SITUATIONS IN THE PAST & HAD MIXED RESULTS

DO YOUR SELF A FAVOR...SLOW DOWN

It's interesting that people say "slow down" as if that is a factor. It's not. Going slower isn't going to change anything, either it's going to work or it isn't.

When someone dives into something and it turns out bad, the instant reaction is to say "I went too fast." But the laws of the universe say the opposite. Go at something full speed and 100% because if you don't, THAT is when you get hurt. I learned that one the hard way in gymnastics. And the laws of the universe tend to be consistent.

The reason why relationships don't work isn't because of speed. Or else ALL relationships that move fast would fall apart and it's been demonstrated that it's not the case. There are many factors.

I like to go at something with all engines firing and at full speed. In this life it's worked out in my favor more often than it hasn't. And when it didn't work I just picked myself up and tried a new direction. It's the way I roll.

 

[Ed Goode]

Good for you, Ms D

Truthfully, I'm not too aware of your (apparently well publicized) romantic past, but only you can know what's right for you.

I met my wife when were were both in our very early '30's, both of us previously married, I had two kids with the "test wife", we started living together 1 week after we met and we have been together now for 26 years (married 25 this past May). The kids literally fell in love with my wife and I personally couldn't have found a better life partner (she probably could have done a little bit better, though )

Good luck to you .... life sometimes gives us wonderful surprises when we least expect it, and it's up to each of us to recognize these gifts when they appear ......

 

[Brian Jr.]

I don't mean to be a downer Dis, and I'm not saying I agree with the "slow downs" or not. But what they mean, I think, isn't "slow down or it won't work." I think it's more of a "slow down while you get through the initial shaky period." I.e. recognize that in the initial stages of a relationship, there are large unknowns and little investment. So it's easy, if you (or he) feel the need, to pull out. Basically, if a month from now you see the relationship isn't working, you don't feel trapped into staying with him for longer than you should just because you've moved [in] so quickly.

Like I said, I'm not saying you shouldn't go full speed ahead. But I think you may have been interpreting some of the comments incorrectly and I wanted you to give them fair consideration.

I'm not going to say good luck. If everything you've said is true, then this doesn't have much to do with luck. But it's good to hear that you're happy.

 

[Bayou_Brawler]

I like to go at something with all engines firing and at full speed.

hmmm the serious relationship train speeding at the male full speed with pistons firing.....

yeah that doesn't tend to freak guys out

 

[disenchant]

I don't mean to be a downer Dis, and I'm not saying I agree with the "slow downs" or not. But what they mean, I think, isn't "slow down or it won't work." I think it's more of a "slow down while you get through the initial shaky period." I.e. recognize that in the initial stages of a relationship, there are large unknowns and little investment. So it's easy, if you (or he) feel the need, to pull out. Basically, if a month from now you see the relationship isn't working, you don't feel trapped into staying with him for longer than you should just because you've moved [in] so quickly.

Like I said, I'm not saying you shouldn't go full speed ahead. But I think you may have been interpreting some of the comments incorrectly and I wanted you to give them fair consideration.

I'm not going to say good luck. If everything you've said is true, then this doesn't have much to do with luck. But it's good to hear that you're happy.

I get what you're saying, and thanks for the well wishes!

We have already gotten rid of most of the unknowns and put everything on the table. I'm a straight-shooter and so is he. We may only be in our second week of dating, but we already have a written financial plan and also written plan for achieving our many goals and purposes. Not everything is perfectly fleshed out, but we are standing together on which goals we are going to pursue first, both separate and joint. I know, that doesn't sound very romantic! But as much as it looks like an impulse buy on the outside, there has been a lot of discussion of solid real-life issues and solutions between us. Part of that is from being in the same religion and applying the things we learn as part of it. It doesn't have to take a long time to build something, and it doesn't have to take a long time to know someone.

We don't play the game of "do you like me?" "Why didn't you call me?" and other such nonsense. We've established we love each other...so, where are we going to go now?? That's the fun part!!

 

[middy]

 

[Marlat]

It doesn't have to take a long time to build something, and it doesn't have to take a long time to know someone.

You're right, it doesn't have to, but I would feel much more secure in a building that was built based on careful attention to detail and not rushed for the sake of having a building in place. FWIW.

 

[bassturtle]

I say only this: I agree with the above sentiment, if not the manner in which it was conveyed.

Also, take a look at #2 in the new "Collected OT Rules" sticky. The irony is palpable.

"Don't be disrespectful you moron!" Great stuff I didn't see anyone trying to be disrespectful to Dis, but what do I know...

Dis, I really hope that things work out well. If not for you, then for the young life that is stuck in the middle of this fresh romance.

 

[SMASH]

It's interesting that people say "slow down" as if that is a factor. It's not. Going slower isn't going to change anything, ....

It'd set a much better example for his daughter.

I wouldn't even consider dating someone that'd move in with someone after a week. Especially with someone with a history like the one you've posted, or like his (daughter, unmarried).

That's coming from someone who is happily married to a gorgeous and smart woman who on a good day can out-rock me, so there's that success factor for you to back up my views.

That said, I wish the very best to the 3 of you and give my kudos to those who've cared enough to inject some reasoning into this. Oddly, there's always major flack when saying outright what most people are thinking. I understand you're sharing your joy, but there's a kid involved and you're publicising personal matters regularly on a bass forum which itself IMO is ill-advised. Again, that's just my view though. I do what works for me, and you do what works for you. There's nothing sweeter than proving naysayers wrong so in that regard again my best wishes.

 

[disenchant]

I forgot - this is Talkbass where you are only allowed to agree with people, or else you are a troll and "not showing respect for other members". STUPID.

There is disagreeing and there is giving cutting remarks meant to stop the other person or make them feel bad about their choice. The difference is in the intention, and it is obvious who is doing what. I know, and the mods know who you are.

There are people here in this thread who are genuinely concerned and throwing out a word of caution. There are people in this thread who have shared a similar experience and want to offer congrats. There are people who don't know me but want to weigh in with their two cents. That's all fine. It's an internet forum, you'll get all kinds. If I was scared of what people would say, I wouldn't have posted in the first place. This isn't the land of rainbows and unicorns.

JT didn't say "don't disagree" he said "don't be a troll." And also, don't be making cutting remarks about my religion--or anyone's religion.

Some people want to cut others down to make themselves feel better. They want to stop other's success out of fear. Their lives aren't going well, no matter what they say or what kind of facade they put out. They love to stir up trouble between two people and then bow out so no one can detect the true cause. They always ACT like they're helping, but if you look close, it's not help. They make up about 2.5% of the population.

I don't pay attention to their yammering. They can only hurt me if I fall into agreement with them.

Thanks to all those with pure intention who care enough to either congratulate me or offer a word of caution.

 

[Skel]

There is disagreeing and there is giving cutting remarks meant to stop the other person or make them feel bad about their choice. The difference is in the intention, and it is obvious who is doing what. I know, and the mods know who you are.

There are people here in this thread who are genuinely concerned and throwing out a word of caution. There are people in this thread who have shared a similar experience and want to offer congrats. There are people who don't know me but want to weigh in with their two cents. That's all fine. It's an internet forum, you'll get all kinds. If I was scared of what people would say, I wouldn't have posted in the first place. This isn't the land of rainbows and unicorns.

JT didn't say "don't disagree" he said "don't be a troll." And also, don't be making cutting remarks about my religion--or anyone's religion.

Some people want to cut others down to make themselves feel better. They want to stop other's success out of fear. Their lives aren't going well, no matter what they say or what kind of facade they put out. They love to stir up trouble between two people and then bow out so no one can detect the true cause. They always ACT like they're helping, but if you look close, it's not help. They make up about 2.5% of the population.

I don't pay attention to their yammering. They can only hurt me if I fall into agreement with them.

Thanks to all those with pure intention who care enough to either congratulate me or offer a word of caution.

Hey Dis - just being in the game is the fastest way I know of to get what you want.

Trust yourself. (except on that "2.5%" figure. Is "3.4%" considered "almost"?) Oh well...forget it, it's nothing (unless you're into exactly correct figures, but not that many people are so I wouldn't even worry about it or say stuff in your head like "oh, was it 3.4% that I read?" Don't even go there on that - it's just an idiosyncrasy of MINE. Also I had to look up the word "palpable" from this thread. I see that as a plus. Can you tell I was just at Starbucks and everybody was buying? Wow.

Anyway congrats again! Don't listen to negative stuff (unless it's coming from me, in which case you would still have to take each thing I say case by case and of course, all of it with a grain of salt. Can you tell I was just at Starbucks?)

There's a lot of us guys rooting for you. Good luck!