- All your points are valid if the guy was trying to get $175 out of you. I’m not sure he was. It sounds like he was just refusing the offer, and telling you why.
I had one guy like that -- the sax player who had a good career with a big name act. I don't think he really wanted to be part of the local scene and maybe quoted high. I have never performed with him.
All the others (and there have been many), without exception, wanted to be part of the project -- and I still perform with all of them -- just not at $175 unless the cash is there and I get my cut. That has happened a couple times, but it's rare.
I had one musician accuse me, for lack of a better word, of "pocketing the lion's share". For a while, I would walk up to him with the deposit check and the balance check and say "Luck is with us, we got paid!". That quieted that concern. In the beginning he also challenged my finding that clubs paid $x. I then found a big name person on the local scene who was open to helping me figure it all out. She wrote an email detailing how the bottom fell out of the local jazz scene during the recession, and how she plays a solo act now to make it pay. She also quoted the rates she used to get for a full band, and what a band like mine could expect -- and it was about what I had told this musician previously.
I forwarded that email to the other sax player (the guy who plays with me still) and he had nothing to say, other than to stop objecting and keep playing.
I was sharing a lot of this with a contractor at a party - guy who builds houses and does major renovations. He said "it sounds like you're running a business" and then he shared similar stories from the people he hires.
I think learning to set the right expectations with contractors and employees is something you have to manage. And you need a narrative ready to counter objections to pay when they aren't valid. It's part of being an entrepreneur or business owner.
Be generous when you can and try to strike that balance between getting work, and getting high pay. It's a tough balancing act.