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I need cheering up...

J

jonathan_matos5

Mar 4, 2006
3,705
13
tulsa oklahoma
#1
it's been a rough few days for me. just broke up with the woman that was briefly my fiance and finished moving her out of my place. I'm resisting the urge to crawl into a bottle, but i could really use something to knock the edge off.
on top of all that I think I might be failing out of college. I'm 29 I should have my ^&*% together by now but it seems like it's all falling apart.

excuse my venting and tell me something to get my mind off it all. :bawl:
 
#2
Try to find a positive and safe way to let out your emotions. Being strong doesn't mean not crying or ranting. You don't do yourself favors by bottling up emotions.

Talk it out, think it out, shout it out, just don't drink it down, and best of luck. I also suggest writing a few things down, even if it's "I'm angry today" and nothing more. It makes things real.

Personally, I like running without music. Time to think even though the thinking may be tough all while doing your body good.
 
#3
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time of it. There is hope, I hope things get better for you. Crawling into the bottle might work for a little while but eventually that will stop working too.
Maybe this picture of the Three Stooges will cheer you up.

the-three-stooges-three-stooges-29303376-800-600.jpg
 
#5
jonathan, I'm sorry to hear about your recent turn of events. I feel you in the since that when facing similarly awful situations, I find myself having to resist the urge to find the bottom of a bottle of whiskey somewhere.

6jase5 had some really good suggestions IMO - especially getting your anger and frustration out in a way that is beneficial to your body (exercise), rather than the converse
 
#11
I know this might be tough to hear but my suggestion is to embrace this tough time. Don't run from it but sit with it and learn as much as you can. I often grow the most when I am going through tough times. No one or nothing can really relieve the depression sometimes, I just have to hang on until it passes.
Okay there is one thing, you might want to try helping out others who are struggling. You could volunteer somewhere or just talk to someone who needs a friend. That and ice cream of course. :p
 
#13
I'm not good with warm & fuzzy advice, so here is what I would do in your situation.

1. Find out all of your current academic options (e.g., dropping a class, changing to audit, etc.). The more knowledge you have on hand the better.

2. Establish why you are "failing out". Without your lady, you may be able to spend more time studying & bang out a decent final or two. Focus all of your efforts on your "worst" classes. Remember - as an undergraduate student, "C's GET DEGREES". As a graduate student, "B's GET DEGREES". Find out the minimum to get a C in those classes, and get it.

Your answer might be that you need a different program. There is no harm with this decision - just weigh it carefully.

3. Do a vigorous exercise regimen. Running, weight lifting, whatever. Take your mind off your current situation while pursuing something that will benefit your life. It is pretty amazing how little you think of your emotional problems while doing a set of heavy back squats.

4. Think positive, even if it is forced. Know that you CAN do school. You CAN get through the emotional mess you're in right now. Maybe even go as far as establishing a handwritten list of positive things (make sure to add to it frequently) that you focus on.

5. Be it school or whatever, set goals for yourself. Make sure they are small but achieveable to start, and accomplish them. It will help you to continue moving forward.

6. You're posting on a bass forum, so I assume you play music. Throw yourself into playing (not to forsake your "failing out schooling", if so desired). Use this opportunity to improve yourself. Scales, arpeggios, etudes, exercises, etc. are great busy-work that can offer some significant benefit to your overall playing. Get better.
 
#14
+1 to writing things out. When I've been in this situation in the past (end of a relationship) that I found particularly tough, I've found that writing it out helped me big time. Just writing out whatever you feel about it. Document the whole thing if you feel like it. I think you'll find it surprisingly cathartic. It lifted quite a bit of weight off me when I was feeling down.
 
#15
Dude, I'm 40, and I am nowhere near having my $*!# together. Slobake's advice is good, as usual. I suggest a really looooooong walk, like 3-4 hours. hang out by some trees, look at birds, watch the traffic go by. Basically, just get out of your world for a while, and view the outside world as an outsider.
 
#18
First, let me say, I feel your pain.

Second, let me say, that while it does suck majorly, it ain't gonna kill ya. So here's my 2cents: just keep on keepin' on. Do your homework, do your laundry, take a shower. Just keep doing all the little mundane things of normal living, and you'll be just fine.

I've been where you are, well, at least on the same street, and all I told myself was "March, or die". and I didn't feel like dying, so on I marched.
 

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