I'm in multiple bands. BL's getting testy about it. Advise, please.

[Robroy]

How many paying gigs have you gotten directly from it? Only time I would consider doing that is if I was selling tickets, with the intent of making money. There are always places you can play for free to get exposure.

It was what kicked us off. It got us into most of the places we are playing now.

Interesting, there is also cross polination going on between the two bands. When a venue finds out I’m in another band, they want to book that band too. So one of the bands will play one place and I’ll book the other band there for some future date. It’s good for both bands because they become part of the rotation for all the places.

 

[headband]

Kind of simple. commit yourself to one band, play with the other one when you are available, but be responsible for finding and rehearsing a sub. that's how you keep your gig(s)

This is pretty much what most pros do in my neck of the woods. In my current band it is the priority for all of us, and in an average week we play a minimum of both weekend nights, and usually more than that. The guitar player also plays with a different band on Sunday nights, and all of us pick up the odd job here and there. The understanding for us is that we will find subs if the priority band picks up work, especially if it is more than a month out. Usually, if it is inside of a month, we all will be asked by BL if we want to do it, and it really is OK to say no if you have other plans. Most of us still try to do all priority band shows, but there has been one or two where I couldn't do it due to short notice. And they could always get a sub for me if they felt strongly about the work, but so far as it has been rare, it hasn't happened (and the shows I couldn't do were not important).
As with anything, any time you use subs, you run the risk that the band starts to like the sub, and may prefer them over you. Especially if you are turning down a lot of work.
Personally, I wouldn't put much energy in to a band when players worked on a first come, first served basis.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

From either band's perspective, first come, first served won't work. If they can't do gigs because of your prior commitment, they're going to get another bassist. I would pick one as your primary commitment and work out a sub for the other band. Just my $.02.

 

[Robroy]

That's all well and good, provided you're upfront about that with all parties involved.

Actually, I have been. It's just that the BL of Adult band doesn't really want to hear it. I made a discovery about 15 years ago. I would explain something to someone from many different angles but they still didn't seem to understand what I was saying and I thought they were just not very bright. Then it hit me. They were not really listening because they disagreed with me and did not want to hear it.

This is what happens with this BL. As I mentioned in an earlier post, his responses are similar to Nigel's response when asked why not just make ten louder, "But this goes to eleven."

How do you respond to that?

 

[callofcthulhu]

I'm the most "serious player" in Adult band. Before I came along, they were lucky to rehearse once a month. And the New Years gig they had to turn down was a "charity case" club. One of the reasons the guitar player quit was that the BL wanted to play there every month or so but the guitar player refused because the pay was so terrible (literally $20-$25 per member and a 50 minute drive).

Which brings up an important point: Having played in the Seattle area and now playing central KY, it's almost like a different planet out here. Bluntly, it doesn't pay. If you are not in it primarily because it's fun, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Which, again, is all well and good as long as you're on the level with them about your level of commitment and give them time to plan accordingly.

Admittedly, I don't do coverbands, so liquid assets are rarely a yardstick I use to measure the worth of a gig/band. I trust your judgment in terms of what constitutes a successful gig vs. a "charity" gig, but the key is making sure the people you're working with understand it too.

If communication with them is a one way street, you've got bigger problems.

 

[Robroy]

This is pretty much what most pros do in my neck of the woods. In my current band it is the priority for all of us, and in an average week we play a minimum of both weekend nights, and usually more than that. The guitar player also plays with a different band on Sunday nights, and all of us pick up the odd job here and there. The understanding for us is that we will find subs if the priority band picks up work, especially if it is more than a month out. Usually, if it is inside of a month, we all will be asked by BL if we want to do it, and it really is OK to say no if you have other plans. Most of us still try to do all priority band shows, but there has been one or two where I couldn't do it due to short notice. And they could always get a sub for me if they felt strongly about the work, but so far as it has been rare, it hasn't happened (and the shows I couldn't do were not important).
As with anything, any time you use subs, you run the risk that the band starts to like the sub, and may prefer them over you. Especially if you are turning down a lot of work.
Personally, I wouldn't put much energy in to a band when players worked on a first come, first served basis.

I actually think that makes a lot of sense. However, there are two key things that make my situation different.
1. This is not a pro situation. This is to softball to what a pro situation would be to the Mariners.
2. The sub thing works in a megalopolis or city. In an area of 50,000 people it is a bit more of a challenge.

BTW, one comical thing about this is that the Adult band really can't get all that many gigs, but they get testy if, when they DO get one, I may not be able to play it. It would just be easier if I was always at their beck and call.

 

[Robroy]

Side note: I've been playing since 1998 and I've never done a NYE gig. I usually go out with my wife.

 

[Robroy]

From either band's perspective, first come, first served won't work. If they can't do gigs because of your prior commitment, they're going to get another bassist. I would pick one as your primary commitment and work out a sub for the other band. Just my $.02.

I'm noticing that some here think being in two or more bands is ok while others think it is not. I honestly think what we may be dealing with here is the equivalent of asking native vietnamese people vs americans what is their perspective on eating dog.

 

[Jack Butler]

I don't really understand the logic of it being any band's business if you are in other bands. The only possible exception might be if both bands are competing for the same gigs. Outside of that, I'm either available or not. And my level of availability is either acceptable to you or not. I agree mentally you should be committed to one band or the other, but honestly if you can't make a gig then you can't. I play in a P&W situation, enjoy it, and am available for Sunday service about 75% of the time currently. There are a few subs that can fill in, or even the BL can play bass instead of guitar if needed. I always give him my schedule a month in advance of when I'm available. Whether I'm missing one Sunday a month because I'm playing another gig, traveling for work, or just want to sleep in once in awhile is not relevant. If there comes a point where the BL says he needs me to step it up and be there all the time except maybe a 2 week vacation, I'll have to politely tell him it's not possible and he can make the decisions he needs to. I play on 2 softball teams, the Tuesday team gets me about 80% of the time we have a game. They asked me to play on Fridays, and I said I wasn't too interested. When they practically begged me, I said look, about 25% of the time I could probably do it and that's it. In all of these situations, I never give a reason why I can't make a gig or game. Another gig, my GF's birthday, or I want to go out of town for the weekend are all valid reasons in my book. Now that said, I stick to and usually exceed the commitments I make to these people. If I say I can make 80% of the games, then I absolutely will.

 

[xgator4u]

On a side note, he’s our keyboardist and can only play in C. He just adjusts the transpose button on his electronic keyboard to play in the key the band is playing in (and sometimes he forgets to).

Say WHAT ?
You can't be serious.
This dude is NO B.L.
more like a B.M.

LOL, you know a reveal like this is just throwing chum to the sharks!

LOL
No sharks here, just GATORS.
This douche B.L. in his mind only gets the "Death Roll".

 

[MultiScaleMale]

I'm noticing that some here think being in two or more bands is ok while others think it is not. I honestly think what we may be dealing with here is the equivalent of asking native vietnamese people vs americans what is their perspective on eating dog.

I think it's fine to be in more than one band. I am. But if I were the bandleader and I had to turn down gigs because of one member, I would find a replacement for that member. You could head that off by finding a sub. Of course, you want a sub that isn't better than you, but that's band drama 101.

 

[Jack Butler]

...On a side note, he’s our keyboardist and can only play in C. He just adjusts the transpose button on his electronic keyboard to play in the key the band is playing in (and sometimes he forgets to). And he is adverse to playing anything other than piano. Trying to get him to play any of the other sounds, including organ, is like pulling teeth. But I seriously digress.

To me, this is more important than anything in the entire thread. He should not even be a member of any band that wants to get paid, let alone the BL. I'm sorry man but this instantly turns that band into a total joke. I'm not saying a bar band needs to be all knowing on music theory, but come on, no self respecting BL would have this attitude.

 

[Kragnorak]

To me, this is more important than anything in the entire thread. He should not even be a member of any band that wants to get paid, let alone the BL. I'm sorry man but this instantly turns that band into a total joke. I'm not saying a bar band needs to be all knowing on music theory, but come on, no self respecting BL would have this attitude.

In some places like Germany, my understanding is that to even play bars a musician is supposed to have a license, and to get said license requires a minimum of music knowledge. So even a punk band there would be versed in basic music theory. Does anyone know if that is still true?

 

[MultiScaleMale]

In some places like Germany, my understanding is that to even play bars a musician is supposed to have a license, and to get said license requires a minimum of music knowledge. So even a punk band there would be versed in basic music theory. Does anyone know if that is still true?

Does that have more to do with taxes and special lower tax status afforded to "artists"? If there weren't requirements, then everyone would be an "artist".

 

[Robus]

By the sounds of it, it's always going to be a problem with the adult band unless you are available to play whenever and wherever the BL chooses. From what you've written I question whether that band deserves such a commitment from you, in terms of their professionalism and the number of gigs they are likely to get. One the other hand the family band could keep you busy between the secular and church gigs.

Personally I'd rather be playing country than 50s rock and gospel. But that's just my tastes.

 

[headband]

I actually think that makes a lot of sense. However, there are two key things that make my situation different.
1. This is not a pro situation. This is to softball to what a pro situation would be to the Mariners.
2. The sub thing works in a megalopolis or city. In an area of 50,000 people it is a bit more of a challenge.

BTW, one comical thing about this is that the Adult band really can't get all that many gigs, but they get testy if, when they DO get one, I may not be able to play it. It would just be easier if I was always at their beck and call.

I understand. Key is to find people that are on the same page as you, and when you do all the drama goes away. When expectations about commitment levels differ things rarely work out, IMHO.

 

[el murdoque]

OP, from reading between the lines, i figure you made your decision already.

When you write about the family band you only mention positive facts while pointing out what's wrong with the adult band.

You have, as you pointed out already, a dilemma to choose between a fresh band that you joined as a just-for-kicks sideproject that is rapidly progressing with players that just started out and a mediocre bar band that has issues with you playing in two bands. The latter will not cover as much ground as fast when it comes to getting better. Old players with lots of experience under their belts do not progress well, especially if they are in a settled situation. The mom in your family band might be practicing Vinnie Colaiuta before your Piano BL masters to play in G major.

 

[Stewie26]

. The mom in your family band might be practicing Vinnie Colaiuta before your Piano BL masters to play in G major.

That got me laughing. If I had to put money on it I would go with the mom. At least she is practicing which means constant improvement. I can't imagine playing with a keyboard-BL that is limited to one key. That is just lame.

 

[jive1]

I can't imagine playing with a keyboard-BL that is limited to one key. That is just lame.

I've been amazed at how common this is in some circles.

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

I can't imagine playing with a keyboard-BL that is limited to one key. That is just lame.

I've been amazed at how common this is in some circles.

Yeah I suspect the keys player of the band I am leaving to do the same thing.

To the OP, I learned early on that to tell the truth to musicians is an invite for verbal abuse and anger. Either lie or simply give no reason, both work better than telling it like it is.