Sounds good! I like some of the ideas you put forth and some of the slides too. I do agree about the length of notes, though, longer and more sustain would be an improvement.
Do you have any videos of you walking a bass line? This may sound weird, but practicing walking can make a huge improvement in your soloing ability too. Walking essentially follows many of the same concepts as soloing, but with some added constraints. There is a synergy there in the skill set. Practice walking, slowly, up and down the neck of the bass. Play the same song in different positions of the neck, shifting to different areas of the neck for different sections of the song. Just walk quarter notes, focus on note length and intonation. I believe this could translate into an improved solo ability, peace!