One who idolises GG Allin and tries very hard to emulate him.
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Insufferable Band Member(s)
- Thread starter chris1327
- Start date
Depends on $$$. Joe Walsh stuck with the two insufferable guys in the Eagles.
I am very sensitive to smells and that will bring the situation past the threshold of insufferable.
There’s a lot of truth in that.
The day you suddenly realize you have far fewer days ahead of you than there are days behind you is a major wake up call for most people. And it’s a pretty rude wake up call when it comes. That’s when you start to get more selective when it comes to the use (and would be users) of your time.
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You have to weigh the pros and cons, decide if it's worth staying with them.
If you do decide, there are ways just to turn them off mentally so they don't push your buttons.
If it's a good band and you enjoy everything about it except them, why let them ruin it? You may not find another band you like as much musically, and still no guarantee you won't find intolerable people in a different band...
Words I live by when dealing with someone like this are "Better the devil you know"...
Good luck with your decision!
By the time I aquired the ability to tolerate almost anyone, I had already burnt myself out on being in bands.
sorry for my choice of words,,old saying heard it young, i see the conflicting picture painted by it..
If you join a band and one of the members is insufferable, you met an insufferable musician.
If every band you join has one or more insufferable members, you're the insufferable musician.
Just kidding, all musicians are insufferable.
If every band you join has one or more insufferable members, you're the insufferable musician.
Just kidding, all musicians are insufferable.
It's a bit like the saying "I don't have a dog in this fight." I've caught myself saying it and there's no bigger dog lover on the planet than I am. It's just one of those expressions we don't think too much about because we hear it so much when we're young, but then one day we actually think about the meaning and we realize maybe there are better ways to put things.
I won't suffer band mates who:
- Are chronically late or absent (i.e. don't respect others' time)
- Have egos not vastly exceeded by their chops
- Can't hear themselves in the mix so need to be the loudest
- Don't learn their parts
- Aren't technically good enough and aren't getting better
- Are racist or misogynist
Played with a tool for a decade who endlessly worked his side hustles, and even pitched his other projects to house on our gigs. He tried that crap with this cool old speakeasy owner who saw through it instantly. The second our tool turned around, he slid his disc off the table and into the trash, while smiling broadly at the rest of us. Still love that guy!
I don't care what else you do, but if you have committed to one band being a priority treat it that way. This dude was trying to wreck his marriage chasing some skankenstein "singer". When singer chick's regular sideman split town to get away from her (she led him on and friend zoned him like a dog), all the sudden our tool was taking skankenstein's shows over ours. He was unceremoniously quit/fired for that nonsense, and then skankenstein dumped him 8 months later any way. Tool's wife got EVERYTHING, and he evn had a beautiful little 3 yr old at home. He now whores around/solos, and cries he can't get enough gigs. He once pitched a big public fit that the bar staff should tip the band if it's a good night. True story. How do you think that went over with the local tenders/servers/bar owners? SOOOOOO toxic, the narcissism was absolutely massive in this guy.
On our end, last month we got inducted into our regional music award's Hall Of Fame. Karma sure is a bee itch.
The formula remains simple, as stated above: Be loyal/don't be a tool, learn your schizz BEFORE rehearsal, deliver on stage, and never EVER tank/bigtime a paying gig.
I don't care what else you do, but if you have committed to one band being a priority treat it that way. This dude was trying to wreck his marriage chasing some skankenstein "singer". When singer chick's regular sideman split town to get away from her (she led him on and friend zoned him like a dog), all the sudden our tool was taking skankenstein's shows over ours. He was unceremoniously quit/fired for that nonsense, and then skankenstein dumped him 8 months later any way. Tool's wife got EVERYTHING, and he evn had a beautiful little 3 yr old at home. He now whores around/solos, and cries he can't get enough gigs. He once pitched a big public fit that the bar staff should tip the band if it's a good night. True story. How do you think that went over with the local tenders/servers/bar owners? SOOOOOO toxic, the narcissism was absolutely massive in this guy.
On our end, last month we got inducted into our regional music award's Hall Of Fame. Karma sure is a bee itch.
The formula remains simple, as stated above: Be loyal/don't be a tool, learn your schizz BEFORE rehearsal, deliver on stage, and never EVER tank/bigtime a paying gig.
Musically I'm picky.
I think I used to have really good ears..and that meant I heard everything. So I could tell what was off or out very quickly and easily with any member or song.
Of course, playing a song well is different from how a member actually plays and you have to reconcile if they were much better that what local gigs pay, they would be in another league anyway.
Some are but schlep it for $120 out of necessity but you have accept that top 10% in musical taste or ability isn't going to matter, and get over it.
So the insufferable deal breaker is more on the personal side.
Playing wise, there can be more leeway.
I far prefer people who jfdi rather than talk about it.
I dont need to bother with people who dont have the basics down, ie, do what they say they will do.
You don't have to spell it out, its simply;
whats songs?
How long to play
Where is it
what time get there and start
dress code
How much..
I think I used to have really good ears..and that meant I heard everything. So I could tell what was off or out very quickly and easily with any member or song.
Of course, playing a song well is different from how a member actually plays and you have to reconcile if they were much better that what local gigs pay, they would be in another league anyway.
Some are but schlep it for $120 out of necessity but you have accept that top 10% in musical taste or ability isn't going to matter, and get over it.
So the insufferable deal breaker is more on the personal side.
Playing wise, there can be more leeway.
I far prefer people who jfdi rather than talk about it.
I dont need to bother with people who dont have the basics down, ie, do what they say they will do.
You don't have to spell it out, its simply;
whats songs?
How long to play
Where is it
what time get there and start
dress code
How much..
I've been playing full time since I was 31 (I'm 56), and there will never come a day where I can draw breath and hold a bass, that I will be as punch-a-clock jaded as many of the posts I was just reading. Music is supposed to fulfill and inspire. If the gig drags you down/bores you so much, maybe find a new hobby/hustle?
"You think I do this because I WANT to?!?! I do this because I HAVE to!!!" - Nick Nolte in NY Stories
"You think I do this because I WANT to?!?! I do this because I HAVE to!!!" - Nick Nolte in NY Stories
D
No, not anymore. Live is too short and my mental wellbeing is too important to have a douche ruin it all, because he wants to make it big in a scene where no one even gets a decent toe down.
Especially when I opened up to him of my feeling not OK on several levels and with him throwing everything in my face like a bad shaving-foam pie.
True, and as I said above if its real good and musically a lot of fun then you roll with it. Nuthin worse than being in a band where everyones really nice, friendly and easy but the vibe is down the tubes. Been there and its like dragging nails across a board.
I see music as a business or any kind of job. You don't have to be friends with everyone but as long as you can work together it works. I have played in bands with people I think can be toxic, pretentious, difficult or not very sympathetic all the time. I am often diplomatic, tries not to fight with people and keep the family aspect of a band in mind, but as I got older, I have become less afraid of conflicts and speaking my mind. If you isn't the most pleasant person, no one would like to make music with you after all. But I am glad that have played with way more persons who are nice, humble, positive and reasonable there we can solve things and talk like mature people without drama or there someone have a need to prove themselves.
