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Is it ok to quit over text message?

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#44
I skipped all of the answers and jumped right to here.

Can you? Sure.

Hell - you can just ghost them.

Quitting that by text is just weak. Pick up the damn phone and at least speak to them. Remind me not to buy your music, or ever even audition you for a band I'm in. If I show up for an audition in your band - let me know so I can bail. I'll be more than glad to let you know why. In person.

I mean REALLY weak. Even asking this question is kind of sad.
 
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#45
I hate to be the old fuddy duddy, get-off-my-lawn guy, but nothing important should be done by text. We've spent millions of years evolving to the point of having at our disposal to greatest form of communication: the English language. Spoken between two human beings facing each other, every nuance of the human condition can be communicated in real time. A rich vocabulary combined with emotion and expression. So what if it can be uncomfortable? That's part of being alive. Texting is avoidance. Speaking is communication.

Okay. I'm done now. To borrow from our dear brother BassCliff, "Thank you for your indulgence."
 
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#48
I'd quit in person if possible, phone at least. After 4 years without bad blood/feelings, I don't think it's cool to quit by text. If you're sure you're done do it. Or wait. There's no hurry, no gigs on the horizon, they have plenty of time to replace you. With no gigs or rehearsals it's not taking time away from your original stuff. Make sure you're sure before breaking with something that's lasted 4 years.

Randy
 
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#50
Is it ok to quit over text? Well, if you want to burn all your bridges and start that reputation, then yes. If you want to keep the bridges intact, along with your reputation, then set up a full blown zoom call with everyone and do it "in person".
 
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#51
FWIW, at the end of the summer I quit a band I was in for eight years via text. It was the way the band communicated, and we're spread out geographically, so it was appropriate. I'm good with it and that's all that really matters.

A couple of band members asked "why" and I simply said "it's time for me to move on". No reasons. No drama. No games. Why stir things up? Band leader still asked me to play in the member/guest at his club. I loved the guys like brothers (and still do) and we still text from time to time.

You also have to factor in the other side of the equation. Are they the type of people who want to talk person to person, or are they people who stare at their phone all day and hide behind text messages? This band wasn't the chat on the phone for hours type.

Finally, I'm currently jamming with two different groups (and genres). Both posted ads on Craigslist. Both asked for my previous experience, to which I replied I recently left a band that I had been a part of for eight years. Neither group asked me why I left and, more to the point, neither asked me how I resigned.
 
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#52
COVID-19 is an exemption for a lot of things this year. I quit a band I was in for 6 years via email. It wasn't that I wasn't willing to quit via Zoom but, piss poor communication and lack of initiative from others to follow through prompted me to use that method.

Either way I was on my way out. Extending the waiting period isn't going to change my mind about quitting. That's valuable time the band leader can use to get another bass player. However, seeing how the lead singer and lead guitar player quit two days after my resignation should be a huge red flag.
 
#53
Anymore I think text is pretty much the standard way to quit or be fired. I’d prefer it; no need for either party to suppress their emotions for the sake of saving face, and let’s each person choose their words more carefully.
 
#55
morgansterne said:
I've been with this band 4 years. 6-piece classic rock outfit. I'm just ready to move on. It's gotten a bit stale and i have original music I would like to promote next year.
We had a few gigs even during covid but the drummer (bandleader more or less) is having surgery. No gigs or rehearsals till January. Our lead singer is 64 and not in great health. I don't know how much longer he'll be up to gigging.
We don't really socialize together but the drummer and guitar player have been generous in various ways.

They have told me before that if I quit, they would fold the band for good. "We could do it without you, but it wouldn't be fun without you."

I don't have to quit. I know promoting my own music will not be a money making venture and I could use the cover band money to pay original music band members. I just don't know if I'll feel like spreading my time so thin. I'm in another cover band that just started up again after a few years off.

Anyway I don't feel like calling up each of the band members individually to tell them I'm leaving, but a text message seems pretty impersonal. What do you think?
Click to expand...

not necessarily, but i guess It depends on how close you are to every one & your Text message. When I quit, I called the people I was closest to, Guitarist & drummer, I texted the singer who was new & more of just an aquaintance that I happened to be in a band with. I tried to take the high road, not point fingers or blame anyone (but it was the drummers doing). I did it after a rehearsal where we bumped heads, again. I was so bent I felt like Texting every one,"I'm done! I cant play with that Dingus on drums!! but I choose the high road. I called them to "man up", but I was harshly ridiculed, for quitting & the name calling started! I was just glad to be out & tried to cut clean, but he made it impossible, refusing to be accountable, but it made me realize, I couldnt be in the band with him. What was done was done. I was done.
Months later the lead guitarist contacted me, with the proposal of starting a new band! informing me that the old band didnt last, everyone left the drummer after one gig. it seemed the other members all had other side prospects/projects. I felt vindicated, But in my case, it got ugly when I decided to "Manup" & make personal calls instead of text messages, it gave that dingus a chance to vent on me! I would have preferred to text that dumass!GL
 
#57
Some bands are so bad that you just need to make an exit ... text ... email ... phone call ... profanity ... what ever it takes

or just quit showing up and see if they notice ...

I had an audition about 20 years ago ... the band sucked so bad that I quit playing in the middle of the song and started packing up my equipment and left
 
#58
Aceman said:
I skipped all of the answers and jumped right to here.

Can you? Sure.

Hell - you can just ghost them.

Quitting that by text is just weak. Pick up the damn phone and at least speak to them. Remind me not to buy your music, or ever even audition you for a band I'm in. If I show up for an audition in your band - let me know so I can bail. I'll be more than glad to let you know why. In person.

I mean REALLY weak. Even asking this question is kind of sad.
Click to expand...

Please don't buy my.music. Sorry I had to send this via text.
 
#60
Alternative option: don't quit just yet.
Tell them about your new project, and that you're putting your energy into it while this one's on hiatus. See how they respond to that; they may wish you well and take that as their cue to call it a day.

Either way, I'd go with whatever medium you collectively use to manage that band.
 
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