Well, attractiveness is an indicator of health and fitness that will be passed on to your progeny. Birds are a good example. The male birds develop colorful plummage, songs and intricate dances that they display for the female. The female selects the male with the best display as it is an indicator of a robust and healthy mate that will produce healthy offspring. For us guys, that equates to size, strength and virility. Height in particular should never be underestimated. Studies always show that women will slight shorter men in favor of taller men. Confidence did not make any impact if height was a consideration.
However, survival for primates involves teamwork and cooperation. Therefore, acceptance of the individual by the troop is critical. Primates also have social orders that determine not just basic survival, but also relative "success" within the troop. An outcast does not fare well and does not have much opportunity for procreation. Therefore, amongst primates, social standing and communication are critical to greater success. So, basically, this means that shy diminutive men finish last and alpha males come in first. Every variation in between will have proportional levels of success.
Thus the old saying - nice guys finish last. Of course, the correctness of this statement is relative. If someone is consoling themselves with this statement, chances are that they are simply rationalizing a situation where they were unsuccessful. "Unsuccessful" should not be equated with "niceness".
In any case, the OP seems to think that greater handsomeness and confidence might compensate for his lack of stature. However, when we're talking about what is attractive in a male, it's not just about looking like Redford. With guys, it has a bit more to do with that hard to define "swagger" that makes him attractive to the opposite sex. Swagger could be looked at as a kind of social prowess that, amongst men, is important in determining your social status. Guys who are funny have a level of swagger. Macho guys obviously have some swagger. Jocks have swagger, etc... and yes, size does matter in this area because it is helpful when you are dealing with other men - not just during confrontations.
So, male "attractiveness" is not based on "handsomeness". In that regard, I think the OP is off base. He may be correct in thinking that he is "unattractive" and therefore unsuccessful. I am not saying that he is or is not. It's not my place to make that determination, but if he is unattractive, it's not be because he is "ugly", but because he is lacking in these other areas.
A lot of guys in this thread are going on about how they are unattractive but they managed to be successful, but they are missing the point. They are using unattractive in the sense of uglyness or not being handsome The OP is not ugly to women, he is unattractive to women (if this is true) and height is likely the biggest contributor. Financial success or social success could compensate, but it will have to be significant.
With regard to confidence, I think it hurts if you dont have it, but having it will only take you to your full potential. It will not take you beyond your potential. So the OP can be handsome and confident, but still be unattractive. However, let me say that his claim of confidence seems to fly in the face of this whole conversation. The fact that the question is being raised in this forum seems to indicate that his confidence has taken a hit. Acceptance and confidence should not be confused in this regard.
If there are a lot of attractive (successful) guys in his area, he is going to seem even less attractive. You have to ask what industry is he working in. What area is he in? Are the women in this area specifically targeting highly successful men? Is this New York City or some other type of business or financial center? This might be a factor as well. Isn't it funny that we always seem to see guys who we think of as overly competitive self-centered jerks with beautiful trophy wives and girlfriends. Notice that I said wives and girlfriends not wives or girlfriends.
