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Law enforcement confessions
- Thread starter cheezewiz
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I agree. I would be afraid that I would become hard and bitter which could have a bad effect on my love ones.
Anyway, thanks for your service OP.
I almost always ignore the bait but I have told more than one person, "And all those other tax payers pay me to (arrest you, give you this ticket...)"
Veritasmench
Texas cop for a few years. I love our remaining relics.
Serpico was a hipster cop. Seriously I read the book and he was a total hipster. though, it is my belief a lot of whats in that book is fabricated too. Some of the more high flying stuff he did.... It reads a bit more like fiction.
I have a neighbor who retired as a detective in the narcotics division, and who I have known since the 1960s. He always had the best weed, and never spent a dime on it. I know a couple other retired cops, who aside from having complete immunity from drunk diving laws, (and who used to drive drunk around town regularly), also did things that would result in long prison terms for anyone who would be prosecuted for similar crimes. Theft, assault, domestic violence, and such. Even though some were my friends from elementary school days, they were really scary people, who used their job as a way to get away with very bad behavior.
bigfatbass
Inactive
- Jun 30, 2003
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- Endorsing Artist: Karl Hoyt Basses
Cheez has heard this story from me before, and when the question comes up about good cop bad cop I am always happy to tell it again.
Worst cop I ever knew was Jimmy, a guy I threw darts with. Always boasting about clocking special duty hours and bleeding every penny he could out of the system, while doing the least possible. He was all about numbers, anything to generate a clockable hr, or a ticket/fine in his log. He was caught napping in his unit more than once, even got a 1 month no pay suspension for sleeping through a call.
This guy was a total arse cavity in every way, endless slurs, vocal homophobe etc. He was on our team because he was related to the captain, and if he had been back for a second season I'd have found another team.
He is now retired because he took two rounds disarming a crack head holding his girlfriend and baby daughter at gun point. Shattered hip, and one kidney later, those two girls made it out safe and the bad guy went to jail.
Enjoy your retirement, and freedom to tell the stories, Pats. I'm sure you've earned it!
Worst cop I ever knew was Jimmy, a guy I threw darts with. Always boasting about clocking special duty hours and bleeding every penny he could out of the system, while doing the least possible. He was all about numbers, anything to generate a clockable hr, or a ticket/fine in his log. He was caught napping in his unit more than once, even got a 1 month no pay suspension for sleeping through a call.
This guy was a total arse cavity in every way, endless slurs, vocal homophobe etc. He was on our team because he was related to the captain, and if he had been back for a second season I'd have found another team.
He is now retired because he took two rounds disarming a crack head holding his girlfriend and baby daughter at gun point. Shattered hip, and one kidney later, those two girls made it out safe and the bad guy went to jail.
Enjoy your retirement, and freedom to tell the stories, Pats. I'm sure you've earned it!
Yeah well some of the stuff he did for example while not even on duty you know.... sorry but this book doesn't read much like a reliable account. Of course what he did, whats documented in court and all, that's true. But you're doing things off duty....that's probably documented right?
I think this book is embellished truth. It goes out of its way to present Serpico as some sort of iconoclast badass.
Im sure there are some, although I cant think of one off the top of my head. I do regret that I (and all other officers at the time) did not get training regarding the mentally ill, earlier in my career.
It's not a regret, but here is one that always brings a chuckle when I remember it. It's a perfect illustration of how jaded officers get, and how things that usually horrify the public become funny to officers.
It's about 20 years ago...so...probably late 80's, early 90's. There is a particular house in town that every officer knows. It's in a decent, blue collar neighborhood. Everyone in the area doesn't have a great deal, but what they have, they keep up nicely. Except this one house. A rental of course. There are about 10 scrotes living in the house. Most of them related, but some just floppers who were allowed to stay there by the "matron" of the house. They are all small time criminals. Really too dumb to do anything other than breaking and enterings, dealing weed, etc. (do NOT make this a mj discussion...it's a different topic).
We get an unknown trouble call there one day. It turns out, they had a makeshift shower set up in the unfinished basement, since there were so many of them living there. It's basically just a hose coming out of the ceiling and a drain in the concrete floor. One of the residents is downstairs taking a shower. A guy in his late 20's probably. He has some sort of medical condition, and in the middle of his shower, drops dead in the basement. So, there is a dead naked guy in the basement.
We do the normals, etc. Eventually the funeral director who contracts with the coroner to pick up bodies arrives. Dead guy gets loaded into a body bag. The funeral director is about 70, and brings NO help with him, so of course, my buddy and I have to help him carry the body bag up the basement stairs, directly to a door that leads into the side yard of the house.
Now the thing I forgot to mention is the house next door. It's a very nicely kept, normal home. There is a porch on the front of the house that wraps all the way around the side. The women in this house evidently babysits for a living, because there are like 12 kids standing on this outside porch, watching the police cars, ambulance, etc., as kids are bound to do when there are cops and fireman in the neighborhood, on a sunny Spring day.
So, we get the body bag up the stairs, and out the door. We make the turn to go to the front of the house, and RIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP, the body bag rips and dead naked guy falls right out onto the sidewalk. In unison, all the little babysitting kids scream and run back into the house.
My buddy and I are laughing so hard I think I'm going to pass out. The funeral director is yelling and screaming about "damn cheap bodybags" and is getting madder by the second as my buddy and I cannot control ourselves from laughing uproariously. I look over to the "babysitter house" and the women in the house is madly shutting all the blinds facing our way. We eventually gained control and got him in another body bag, but I still laugh every time I think of that.
It's about 20 years ago...so...probably late 80's, early 90's. There is a particular house in town that every officer knows. It's in a decent, blue collar neighborhood. Everyone in the area doesn't have a great deal, but what they have, they keep up nicely. Except this one house. A rental of course. There are about 10 scrotes living in the house. Most of them related, but some just floppers who were allowed to stay there by the "matron" of the house. They are all small time criminals. Really too dumb to do anything other than breaking and enterings, dealing weed, etc. (do NOT make this a mj discussion...it's a different topic).
We get an unknown trouble call there one day. It turns out, they had a makeshift shower set up in the unfinished basement, since there were so many of them living there. It's basically just a hose coming out of the ceiling and a drain in the concrete floor. One of the residents is downstairs taking a shower. A guy in his late 20's probably. He has some sort of medical condition, and in the middle of his shower, drops dead in the basement. So, there is a dead naked guy in the basement.
We do the normals, etc. Eventually the funeral director who contracts with the coroner to pick up bodies arrives. Dead guy gets loaded into a body bag. The funeral director is about 70, and brings NO help with him, so of course, my buddy and I have to help him carry the body bag up the basement stairs, directly to a door that leads into the side yard of the house.
Now the thing I forgot to mention is the house next door. It's a very nicely kept, normal home. There is a porch on the front of the house that wraps all the way around the side. The women in this house evidently babysits for a living, because there are like 12 kids standing on this outside porch, watching the police cars, ambulance, etc., as kids are bound to do when there are cops and fireman in the neighborhood, on a sunny Spring day.
So, we get the body bag up the stairs, and out the door. We make the turn to go to the front of the house, and RIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP, the body bag rips and dead naked guy falls right out onto the sidewalk. In unison, all the little babysitting kids scream and run back into the house.
My buddy and I are laughing so hard I think I'm going to pass out. The funeral director is yelling and screaming about "damn cheap bodybags" and is getting madder by the second as my buddy and I cannot control ourselves from laughing uproariously. I look over to the "babysitter house" and the women in the house is madly shutting all the blinds facing our way. We eventually gained control and got him in another body bag, but I still laugh every time I think of that.
^LOL
I have a few good cop interactions. I find them funny at least.
Guy trying to pass me leaving my work parking lot, spins out and hits me. tells the cop he "might have been doing 25" cop looks at him and goes "I'm not ******* buying it bro." made me lol
Got pulled over for accelerating through a yellow light. Officer comes to the window and says the usual "do you know why I pulled you over" so I reply "no sir" he says "you accelerated through a yellow light" figuring I'm getting the ticket anyway I say "Officer, I swear it was red when I went through it" he snickered, then all out laughed, told me "Don't let me catch you doing that again," got in his car and drove away.
I was with my friend years ago, and a cop flashes his lights to pull him over and my friend winds down his window and starts waving the cop around him screaming out his window "go around, go around" he then pulled over. the cop got out of his car laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face, walked up to my buddy's window, shook his head, walked back to his car still laughing and drove off.
My dad's new neighbor is a state trooper they became friends pretty quickly so my dad will call him and ask him to come outside then shoot off illegal fireworks.
Also the state trooper one time asked my dad to come over and have a scotch with him. my dad has never drank in his life so he says "i'll come hang out, but I dont drink" trooper replies "smoke dope?" my dad says no, trooper says "then what the **** do you do for fun?"
when my wife and I first started dating there was a girl running around saying my wife was bulimic, wifey ran into this girl at a gas station and proceeded to beat the ever loving **** out of her to the point that the cops were called. they put my wife in the back of a cop car and drove her around the block, once the girl that got the *** whooping left they drove my wife back said "I would have beat her *** too" and dropped her off.
I have a few good cop interactions. I find them funny at least.
Guy trying to pass me leaving my work parking lot, spins out and hits me. tells the cop he "might have been doing 25" cop looks at him and goes "I'm not ******* buying it bro." made me lol
Got pulled over for accelerating through a yellow light. Officer comes to the window and says the usual "do you know why I pulled you over" so I reply "no sir" he says "you accelerated through a yellow light" figuring I'm getting the ticket anyway I say "Officer, I swear it was red when I went through it" he snickered, then all out laughed, told me "Don't let me catch you doing that again," got in his car and drove away.
I was with my friend years ago, and a cop flashes his lights to pull him over and my friend winds down his window and starts waving the cop around him screaming out his window "go around, go around" he then pulled over. the cop got out of his car laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face, walked up to my buddy's window, shook his head, walked back to his car still laughing and drove off.
My dad's new neighbor is a state trooper they became friends pretty quickly so my dad will call him and ask him to come outside then shoot off illegal fireworks.
Also the state trooper one time asked my dad to come over and have a scotch with him. my dad has never drank in his life so he says "i'll come hang out, but I dont drink" trooper replies "smoke dope?" my dad says no, trooper says "then what the **** do you do for fun?"
when my wife and I first started dating there was a girl running around saying my wife was bulimic, wifey ran into this girl at a gas station and proceeded to beat the ever loving **** out of her to the point that the cops were called. they put my wife in the back of a cop car and drove her around the block, once the girl that got the *** whooping left they drove my wife back said "I would have beat her *** too" and dropped her off.
I've always wondered, and maybe you can answer this from having had female colleagues.
Is it possible for a man to charm a female officer out of a ticket? You hear about women doing it all the time (altho it didn't work on you) but has a man ever successfully flirted/charmed/shown his junk to get out of a ticket to a female officer? I can't see it working, but maybe you've heard different?
I worked regularly with 4 female officers. Two were young and attractive women. They would talk about how someone they stopped was "cute" or whatever, but they were absolutely immune to flirting, etc. They both quickly got sick of drunks coming on to them, usually in a pretty aggressive manner.
Thanks for the heads up. Now I know not to slide my junk through my zipper and wink the next time a lady cop pulls me over!
And as far as attractive females flirting to get out of tickets, etc., I quickly learned that this type of woman is only trying to get a benefit. She has NO interest in you. If you approached her while you were out of uniform in a bar, she probably wouldnt give you the time of day. Keeping that in mind made it much easier to ignore that kind of thing.
If you change your mind and do it, make sure to videotape the female officer's reaction. I'd pay to see that
Hope I don't get tasered!!
If ever a good reason to tase a citizen... flashing his junk at a lady cop might be justified.
Yep. It's like a Hooters waitress smiling at you and flirting with you. She could give a rat's behind about you and your friends... she wants a tip!
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