Lead Guitarist a Weasel...

[BrentD]

Was your issue with how many songs he wanted to add or with adding anything at all? I can see limiting a first practice to a dozen songs and getting those down over the next couple of rehearsals. Eventually you're going to need more, but we've all complained about those auditions where we're told to prep four sets' worth.

Bonus points for him though if he wanted to call the band The Retenders.

 

[flam]

There are very few people on the planet who have never trash talked anybody ever. If somebody thought they were so perfect that nobody had anything bad to say about them to somebody else, I've got news for them.

OP, you started the band, so I assume you're the big boss. It would be your responsibility to make sure everybody understands the game plan, and that they're all good with it. If not, it's also your responsibility to make whatever changes are necessary.

As for adding new songs, I don't see anything wrong with having a few in the backlog before everything else is nailed one hundred percent. As much as I want everything to be perfect, I've come to realize that if you spend all of your time perfecting everything, you don't really get much done.

 

[ZAR14]

Good enough gets you gigs while other bands sit at home woodshedding. Nobody in the bar will care if you sub an eight note run for a 16th note passage. Nobody. Variety of tunes will always please the crowd more than perfection on a few. Even the original band changes things and simplifies things on tour. It's all about balance. Meanwhile, the band that you formed will be performing without you. I think my standards are just fine.

Yet when you can't play a song where the drummer doesn lose time, of the singer doesn't forget lyrics, you would think you'd want to go over the song again to at least be able to play through. Some people are satisfied with seeing bands that are just "Good Enough" ...

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Yet when you can't play a song where the drummer doesn lose time, of the singer doesn't forget lyrics, you would think you'd want to go over the song again to at least be able to play through. Some people are satisfied with seeing bands that are just "Good Enough" ...

Again, where's your band?

 

[ZAR14]

Was your issue with how many songs he wanted to add or with adding anything at all? I can see limiting a first practice to a dozen songs and getting those down over the next couple of rehearsals. Eventually you're going to need more, but we've all complained about those auditions where we're told to prep four sets' worth.

Bonus points for him though if he wanted to call the band The Retenders.

My issue was wanting to add new songs when we didnt had the first batch down yet

 

[woodyng2]

Perhaps I should've explained myself better. What I mean by "Trashing" me is telling lies. Evidently this guy thought I was removed from the Bands group text, I wasnt. He said I was always late for practice, I never was, in fact I arrived to practice before he did. Said he had to show me how to play my parts on over half the songs, which is also a lie.
I did ask him what the "Change" was on One song. When they realized I also received his "text" I was quickly removed from the group text. Singer texted "Sorry, that wasn't meant for you". I simply replied, "Too late now"

Sometimes,technology and the inexpert use of such by humans can be very illuminating. Your discovery of these texts tells you everything you need to know about these 3 bandmembers.
I would have done the same as you in this situation. (Btw,that is a real shame,because i would love to be in a Pretenders tribute band.)

 

[pwhalen]

They are if that individual sees what he wrote.

Then only that individual would know. Nobody here knows who the OP or guitarist in question are. Are you really saying that's comparable to trashing someone to people who know who you are talking about??

 

[Wandering Bass]

Yet when you can't play a song where the drummer doesn lose time, of the singer doesn't forget lyrics, you would think you'd want to go over the song again to at least be able to play through. Some people are satisfied with seeing bands that are just "Good Enough" ...

Both of these issues are not something that should be managed through rehersal. These are practice issues, which means the individuals are not coming to rehearsals prepared to succeed. Bringing four unprepared people together and repeating the same song over and over won’t get you where you want to be.

Assign a couple of songs that every individual will know by next rehersal. If the vocalist can’t be bothered to learn the lyrics, or the drummer keep time, then this isn’t a band that is going to work.

Before bringing in another guitarist make sure you are honest with them about your goals. Bringing in someone who wants to make it happen right now isn’t going to work for you guys. Just be honest and tell them up front that you plan to spend a long time building your set list, and gigs are far off. You won’t land the best of local talent, but you’ll get someone who understands the plan.

 

[lfmn16]

Yet when you can't play a song where the drummer doesn lose time, of the singer doesn't forget lyrics,

These are problems that should be addressed in practice, not rehearsal. Why should I waste my time helping the singer learn the lyrics or the drummer how to stay in time. These things should a given - you can play in time and you prepare your parts. OOPS @Wandering Bass wrote this while I was writing it!

Not to beat up on you too much, but one of the things you ALWAYS do before auditions is to set expectations BEFORE someone even walks through the door. I'm putting a band together and everyone knew what we were playing, how close we would play to the original recording, where we would be playing, how often we would play, how often we would practice, expected time lines for getting ready to play out, how many songs I expected to learn each week, etc., etc., etc. It only takes a few minutes to talk about these things and prevents a lot of problems.

 

[ZAR14]

These are problems that should be addressed in practice, not rehearsal. Why should I waste my time helping the singer learn the lyrics or the drummer how to stay in time. These things should a given - you can play in time and you prepare your parts. OOPS @Wandering Bass wrote this while I was writing it!

Not to beat up on you too much, but one of the things you ALWAYS do before auditions is to set expectations BEFORE someone even walks through the door. I'm putting a band together and everyone knew what we were playing, how close we would play to the original recording, where we would be playing, how often we would play, how often we would practice, expected time lines for getting ready to play out, how many songs I expected to learn each week, etc., etc., etc. It only takes a few minutes to talk about these things and prevents a lot of problems.

All those issues were discussed ahead of time. Everyone appeared to be on the same page....

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

Then only that individual would know. Nobody here knows who the OP or guitarist in question are. Are you really saying that's comparable to trashing someone to people who know who you are talking about??

Sure. If you think that talking badly about someone is wrong, then it’s wrong regardless of the audience. If you think it’s OK to do so long as you’re doing it when no one would find out about it, then you really don’t have an issue with talking badly at all.

 

[pwhalen]

Sure. If you think that talking badly about someone is wrong, then it’s wrong regardless of the audience. If you think it’s OK to do so long as you’re doing it when no one would find out about it, then you really don’t have an issue with talking badly at all.

For talking bad about someone to matter, people would actually have to know who the someone is. Are you really saying there is no difference between a sentence with a subject and one without one?

 

[ashtray]

First - you seriously brought in a husband/wife team in to the band?! Are you crazy??? That was the beginning of the end. If they have kids, that’s the end of the end. (Full disclosure: I’m married with kids.).

I played in a band with a married couple - lets just say “awkward” was a good day.

Second, this weasel guitarist. How dare he put in more practicing time, learn all his parts, want to add more songs, and be organized about getting the logistics all together to prepare you guys for gigging! Didn’t he know this was a band where no one practices their parts at home, and you spend a 3 hour practice working on 4 songs?

Tell me - what was the purpose of this band? And were you upfront with the other members about it? How long were you together?

 

[beans-on-toast]

Dealing with people is never easy. There are different personalities and band dynamics to content with. A good player is not the only skill to look for when putting together a band.

I find that it’s important when working with people to ensure that they are a good fit in the group. A band member who doesn’t fit in can make life difficult for everyone. Some people want to dominate and take over. Audition first but then it’s important to sit down and talk about your vision for the group and how you want to reach those goals. Talk about the need for everyone to be on the same page.

There’s a difference between you running the band and an equal partnership. If it’s your band, then you have to take on more responsibilities, musical direction, logistics, promotion, and management. That’s a lot to take on. If it’s a partnership, then expect others to want to contribute and the group has to decide how things should be done.

Always make it clear that they are initially there on a trial basis. Make it clear what you will be looking for when evaluating them. They can decide if they want to accept those terms and conditions.

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

For talking bad about someone to matter, people would actually have to know who the someone is. Are you really saying there is no difference between a sentence with a subject and one without one?

That just means you don’t think talking badly about someone is a bad thing- you just think it’s bad if they can find out about it. If you honestly think it’s a bad thing to speak badly about someone, you’re not going to do it no matter who is, or isn’t, around.

 

[mellowinman]

So I had this idea to start a Pretenders Tribute band, I play Bass. I placed an ad, found a husband and wife duo, (she Sings/ plays guitar, he plays Keys).
She mentioned a Lead Guitar player, someone I had dealings with a cpl yrs ago. To say the least, I wasn't crazy about the idea, he has an Ego and a bad attitude. She asked me to give him a chance, said "He's a good guitarist". I said I'd go with it, but don't be surprised when poop happens.
We had ONE practice and he wanted to start adding songs, get a Band name and logo and create a website.
Long story short, he's retired and has all the available time to learn songs, the rest of us work for a living. We had about a dozen songs down, some good, others not so good and he wanted to keep adding new songs. In the end, I had to push the issue of Quality over Quantity,to no avail, behind my back he was saying that I lack motovation. I said "I'm Done" and walked.
Now I hear that this jerk is trashing me and spreading lies about me. There are times you'd really like to slap someone!

I've decided to start trashing you and spreading lies about you. First up: You LOVE tuna noodle casserole. Deal with it.

 

[pwhalen]

That just means you don’t think talking badly about someone is a bad thing- you just think it’s bad if they can find out about it. If you honestly think it’s a bad thing to speak badly about someone, you’re not going to do it no matter who is, or isn’t, around.

No, it means it's not talking badly about someone if the "someone" isn't specified. I mean, it's a pretty clear distinction.

It's not a matter of believing something is okay if that thing doesn't exist in the first place.

See if you can spot the difference here:

"Ugh, the Chinese food I got from Golden Crown was absolutely disgusting. I will never eat there again."

"Man, I got some really bad Chinese food the other night. Not going there again"

If you really can't see the difference there then there's no point continuing this conversation. And since I am apparently unable to ignore you feel free to have the last word here.

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

I've decided to start trashing you and spreading lies about you. First up: You LOVE tuna noodle casserole. Deal with it.

That’s way more offensive than anything that guitarist could have said...

 

[MultiScaleMale]

It's all about character. What you do in secret or anonymity shows your true character.

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

No, it means it's not talking badly about someone if the "someone" isn't specified. I mean, it's a pretty clear distinction.

It's not a matter of believing something is okay if that thing doesn't exist in the first place.

See if you can spot the difference here:

"Ugh, the Chinese food I got from Golden Crown was absolutely disgusting. I will never eat there again."

"Man, I got some really bad Chinese food the other night. Not going there again"

If you really can't see the difference there then there's no point continuing this conversation. And since I am apparently unable to block you feel free to have the last word here.

There’s a clear difference to the reader. There’s no difference to the writer. You know who you’re talking about. Not revealing it to the audience does not change the intent. If you think it’s wrong to badmouth, you’re not going to write either of those sentences.