Let's spread some musical misinformation

[rtslinger]

The missing bass know as the "Funk machine" is buried under the 4 corners monument along with Gene Simmons Custom Charlie LoBue

 

[Jay2U]

Any bassist who can actually read and understand scores will never ever find the groove.

 

[Feral Feline]

T H U N D E R ! D O N E ! D I R T ! C H E A P !

This may be shocking news to those not in the know, but... To get really thundering lows, I have found the following method best above all other current methods (such as EQ, B-strings, sealed cabs/open cabs, string guages, active/passive electronics etc), the least circuitous path, to be positive and if you're series about it, is...

The next time a lightning storm hits your area, watt you do is put your amp outside as high as possible (under a protective plastic cover, you don't want it rained on – duh!) and attach a lightning rod to the ground/earth prong on the mains plug. Best to wear rubber soled shoes and dishwashing gloves while handling the lightning rod, you don't want to get hertz. In fact, go all out and Bring Out the Gimp, that latex suit you keep locked away in M&D's "special" dresser drawer.

If you find this idea revolting, that it's too much on your plate, have any reluctance, or resist,or don't know which prong on the plug is the earth/ground, then you probably don't have a locking "special" drawer, and you should leave the entire procedure to the adult in charge of your care.

Simple, cheap, effective.

I amp not responsible in any capacity for your injuries should you attempt this on your Ohm, so don't be all negative and blow a fuse at me. A grid?

 

[zontar]

The Think music during Final Jeopardy was written in 1573 by a minstrel who sold trivia books.
His name?
Mervus Griffinalo.

 

[iiipopes]

Tapewound strings were actually invented as a kinder, gentler, garrote that would meet the Geneva Convention requirements eliminating torture.

 

[zontar]

The most natural sounding strings for bass are tapeworm strings.

 

[Jay2U]

The most natural sounding strings for bass are tapeworm strings.

Kala string their U-basses with tapeworm strings.

 

[Robroy]

The blues were invented by a very bad guitar player that accidentally played a chord wrong but the drummer said it sounded pretty darned good.

And the blues were born.

Or maybe that was jazz...

 

[Robroy]

In the movie The Last Waltz, the bass track is what was actually being played live on camera. It was in no way overdubbed.

 

[Jay2U]

The blues were invented by a very bad guitar player that accidentally played a chord wrong but the drummer said it sounded pretty darned good.

And the blues were born.

Or maybe that was jazz...

If the drummer actually listened to what another band member played, it can't be jazz.

 

[Robroy]

If the drummer actually listened to what another band member played, it can't be jazz.

Caught me! I just hoped nobody would notice.

 

[Tom Bomb]

The legendary brown note was nonexistent and completely unheard-of until color televisions came to outnumber black & white televisions, some time mid 1968. Prior to this, grey notes were all you could expect and they were dull and boring so no one ever made much of a fuss about them.

Legend has it, that a secret plan was devised. Channel selector knobs on the new fangled TV sets were 'fixed' to harness and convert the misnamed static, which is, in reality, echoes from the big bang and easily captured from in-between stations. Once captured, those echoes were directed back through the power grid to a huge 'collector' under a Californian bungalow owned by the very fortunate Eric Clapton.

Once transmission was initiated Eric's hair went curly overnight, he immediately appeared as 'God' to anyone with a color television set, and the brown note in his hands made him ridiculously wealthy almost overnight. Soon the brown note became a bankable commodity - a gold mine whose stocks traded furiously amongst a few hyper-elite music moguls who shall remain aimless, for huge sums of money, until a complex web was created throughout the world. Music was forever transformed by this series of events, for better or worse.

The brown note, to this day, is a closely guarded secret, a mystery to all except the very few. There are only a few pockets remaining now, stashed in out-of-the-way places. Stocks are dwindling. The advent of digital television ended brown note production, destroying the process entirely. However, it's rumored that a new note, named the puce note, is in the early stages of development, somewhere in the Arctic Circle, engineered as it happens by piratical scientists from another dimension. So keep a weather eye for the puce note.

 

[zontar]

If you don't have a drummer for a gig, you can get by with a random person from the audience hitting pots & pans.

(oops---this is the misinformation thread, not the tips thread...)

 

[Jay2U]

If you can't follow the others during a public jam session, just step on the cable so it quickly unplugs and keep on 'playing' in the rhythm like you don't know nothing.

 

[zontar]

If you can't follow the others during a public jam session, just step on the cable so it quickly unplugs and keep on 'playing' in the rhythm like you don't know nothing.

I did something like that when I was taking lessons and we had a band--we played two songs and I blanked out on one song and so I turned down my volume and pretended to play-as I wasn't the only guitar player there wasn't a big hole.
But we still sucked.

 

[Feral Feline]

If you can't follow the others during a public jam session, just step on the cable so it quickly unplugs and keep on 'playing' in the rhythm like you don't know nothing.

Wrong thread ^
To quote Zontar...

(oops---this is the misinformation thread, not the tips thread...)

*******************

The song "Bridge Over Troubled Water" was actually written by RuPaul Simon (known better as RuPaul Andre Charles or simply RuPaul). The song is about intonation issues he/she was having with his/her Waterstone guitar's bridge.

After having heard the song, Paul Simon asked RuPaul if he could cover it with his partner Art Garfunkel to which RuPaul agreed with the proviso that Simon and Garfunkel publicly "come out". Simon renegged on the agreement, changed a few of the lyrics and claimed the song as his own; To this day S&G claim their partnership is strictly a "musical" one. The resultant rift between RuPaul and S&G has since never been mended.

 

[pklima]

Old strings may suffer hair loss on their silk wrappings. Just accept it. Never try to cover it up with a string toupee.

 

[Jay2U]

The name double bass became popular because these instruments can be played both finger style and with a bow.

 

[Tom Bomb]

Old strings may suffer hair loss on their silk wrappings. Just accept it. Never try to cover it up with a string toupee.

I happen to like the purple rinse look.
Youth is beauty. Age is a work of art.

P.S. Your bass is a stunner.

------------------------------

Quarter plectrums will turn into dimes without warning. This is due to inflation. If they become pennies, as they invariably will, sooner or later, it all goes out the window. When this happens it's best to hit up the bank for a new roll of quarters and start again or, better still, forget the currency picks and go for precious metal picks instead.

 

[Feral Feline]

The name double bass became popular because these instruments can be played both finger style and with a bow.

I think I sort've got fingers and bowin', but I'm still at a loss on what to do with the arrows. They're too long and awkward to use like a pick.