Let's spread some musical misinformation

[GBassNorth]

Low boys typically have hi hats nowadays but no longer wear socks with their foot pedals. However, crash and splash is still possible if you avoid the China ride.
- drummers live in a parallel universe and are living proof of the visitation of ancient aliens.

 

[GBassNorth]

Ernie Ball accidentally created the roasted neck option on their basses when they tried to find a short cut way of grilling a regular maple neck to create a flame maple neck.

 

[ZenG]

On a similar note, all songs which end on a fade out are still being played.

The 'fade out' on a recording you hear is actually an illusion. After the disappearance of the first recorded take using "fade out', the record industry opted to not use it any more but instead encode all recordings with a command that temporarily lowers the output volume on the playing device at the end of a composition. This is done after the take is recorded. No ' fade out' switch is used, thereby saving thousands of works and equipment.
Using a 'fade out' switch is now illegal in Canada and 41 states in the U.S in commercial recording studios.

Prosecutors have a hard time with it though....because once your song disappears they can't prove you ever actually used it..

 

[Jay2U]

If you always play your bass with the volume control set to 50%, that bass will last twice as long.

 

[PillO]

If you always play your bass with the volume control set to 50%, that bass will last twice as long.

But it will be half as fun

 

[Jay2U]

But it will be half as fun

Half as fun, twice as long may be woooooooorthwhile!

 

[zontar]

The original Sonny Boy Williamson once swallowed a harmonica--and nobody noticed.
They thought he was trying to set the record for the longest harmonica solo.

 

[ZenG]

For those on a budget:- you don't really need a bass---you can simply join an 'a cappella' group and become the bass singer or sing solo.

But it can be tricky. If you want to sound like an upright you'll need to stuff your cheeks with cotton balls like Marlon Brando in 'The Godfather".
To sound like a fretless close your mouth and sing through your nose.
If you're singing metal......use a good condenser mic running through an overdrive pedal and stick the mic directly on your throat while singing.
To sound like a cheap bass, use a scuba diving snorkel. Sing through the snorkel into the mic.

Nailing the Fender-P tone is the most complicated. First, wrap your head completely in bandages, leaving holes to see, breathe and sing through. Now cover the bandages by wrapping duct tape over them.
Lay flat on the floor. (because you're emulating flats).
Sing into an empty washed large Campbell soup tin ( You want to get the mids...this is important).
Start each note by lightly applying your tongue to your upper lip quickly. ( this is for finger-picking effect),
For pick sound start each note by clacking your teeth together.

Use epoxy to glue the mic to the bottom of the large soup tin then run it through a Sansamp right into an Aguilar head with a 4x15 cabinet.

If you want sound like an active bass:- Take any good electrical extension cord in 14 gauge or less. Split the wires and apply hot to one toe and bus to the other. Connect the ground wire to any external metal close by and plug yourself in. Have a hum destroyer handy because hum CAN happen at the best of times.

All Motown hits were recorded using an 'a cappella' bass singer.

 

[Jay2U]

Selecting basses at music stores.

1) Basses on display are always 100% representative of the basses in stock, so inspect the instruments thoroughly for dents and scratches.
2) Only test basses that come in your favorite color.
3) Play the intro of Enter Sandman.
4) Buy the first bass that passes 1) and 2) on which you played 3) flawlessly.

This process is called 'Intuitive, No-nonsense, Selective, Assertive New Equipment Acquisition', a.k.a. I.N.S.A.N.E. Acquisition.

 

[pklima]

Though few expected this when the Monkees broke up, the member with the most successful and respected post-Monkees career proved to be their bassist - Peter Tosh.

 

[ZenG]

Canadian fact:

'Auto-Wah' was invented in Ottawa, Ontario. They actually renamed the city "AutoWah' as a tribute. At the time the city was called Flange.

But when locals pronounced it, visitors and tourists thought they sounded too snooty.....so locals said "Ottawa" instead.

 

[PsyDocHill]

My receptionist, a bassist, has been known to give this encouraging tee-shirt to clients who suffer from Munchausen Syndrome, so that she can proceed to offer a referral to a bass guitar teacher:

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

My receptionist, a bassist, has been known to give this encouraging tee-shirt to clients who suffer from Munchausen Syndrome, so that she can proceed to offer a referral to a bass guitar teacher:

I want one!

 

[Jay2U]

I want one!

So you actually don't want one, 'cause this is misinformation. Leaves the question: Do you want more than one or none.

 

[GBassNorth]

So you actually don't want one, 'cause this is misinformation. Leaves the question: Do you want more than one or none.

...or does he want one with an opposite slogan that says...
I need therapy, I play an electric guitar

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

...or does he want one with an opposite slogan that says...
I need therapy, I play an electric guitar

I don't want anything that has that logo on it.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

So you actually don't want one, 'cause this is misinformation. Leaves the question: Do you want more than one or none.

I don't want one. I couldn't care less.

 

[Jay2U]

It's not true that strings can break during a gig. It's the musician who deliberately removes a string that's in the way.

 

[ZenG]

 

[PsyDocHill]

This is not misinformation, because I think it is too important for a joke: I have started collaborating with music therapists & am amazed with the positive impact their interventions have on people struggling with a diverse array of conditions spanning the entire DSM-5, basically. One need not be musical to benefit, either.