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Let's spread some musical misinformation

For unknown reasons, only knuckle crackers can achieve slap/pop style bass chops.

This is correct. The popping sound originates from the bassist’s knuckles. The intensity of the popping will vary with the density and length of the finger between the knuckle and string. It is of utmost importance to maintain the five millisecond contact when popping, to ensure maximum through-the-body resonance and optimum sustain.
 
This is correct. The popping sound originates from the bassist’s knuckles. The intensity of the popping will vary with the density and length of the finger between the knuckle and string. It is of utmost importance to maintain the five millisecond contact when popping, to ensure maximum through-the-body resonance and optimum sustain.
I FN love science!
 
I FN love science!
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Cold weather gigs. Nothing worse than a freezing cold instrument and warm hands. I heard from a friend of a guy who opened up for a band who opened up for Tool’s opening act that their bassist wraps his hands in ice packs on the way to the show so by the time they get to the outdoor jamfest, temperatures match between skin and string, ensuring a cool performance.