and always talk about the bass you plan to get with your next paycheck ...And let the girl carry the amp so she feels like she is helping !
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Let's spread some musical misinformation
- Thread starter pklima
- Start date
and always talk about the bass you plan to get with your next paycheck ...And let the girl carry the amp so she feels like she is helping !
...and try to teach her how to play the mighty bass.
It'll be a new date tomorrow, and the day after that...
No, no, no, if you are a man dating a lady and care about the lady you bring a short or ultra-short or uke bass bass along for her, not a mighty bass. Just like a man has beer and a lady only white wine you can't expect her to play a full-sized bass.
You should also learn a selection of bass lines from appropriate songs. E.g. 'Brown-eyed Girl' if she is a woman and has brown eyes, 'American Woman' if she's from the USA, 'Gloria' if her name is Gloria or something close like Gillian or Getrude, or 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam if you are dating a man called Jeremy, or a woman called Jemimah. You should also learn 'Tommy the Cat' by Primus so she or he knows you can really play and can potentially bring in the 'big bucks' on those important 1990s revival gigs.
If the restaurant won't let you bring your bass in, be sure to bring a selection of your favourite strings as an ice-breaker.
Ozzy Osbourne has OZZY written on his left hand in case he is too drunk to speak and has to identify himself. It has led to him reading his hand to check who he is and introducing himself as YZZO more than once.
If you are dating someone and at a restaurant and they haven't asked you what instrument you play, always order the sea bass as a way of naturally leading into your announcement. It can also lead to a cheaper date as you may be skipping dessert unexpectedly.
This works even better if you play bassoon, but no one actually does play it.
Other suggested segues include:
"Risotto, that's an Italian word like piano. Oh, which reminds me I play piano".
"Liver, that's an organ which amazingly what I play" "You play the liver in a bad" "No, the organ" "Which organ?".
"Don't you think this zucchini looks a bit like a saxaphone?"
"Often they cut vegetables with a mandolin, which is quite a coincidence"
"Souffle - that rises, just like my bagpipes when I blow into them"
"Ah, the cheese course. That reminds me of guitars".
This works even better if you play bassoon, but no one actually does play it.
Other suggested segues include:
"Risotto, that's an Italian word like piano. Oh, which reminds me I play piano".
"Liver, that's an organ which amazingly what I play" "You play the liver in a bad" "No, the organ" "Which organ?".
"Don't you think this zucchini looks a bit like a saxaphone?"
"Often they cut vegetables with a mandolin, which is quite a coincidence"
"Souffle - that rises, just like my bagpipes when I blow into them"
"Ah, the cheese course. That reminds me of guitars".
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Woe to the one who dares to order carrots... "See? Just like my kazoo!"
If you order carrots your date will assume you play bass, surely?
I noticed, as "saxaphone" should be spelled "sexyphone".
That's a bit like the Sousaphone was originally the Susanphone as Sousa requested it be created so he could serenade his mistress Susan. It was actually created by J. W. Pepper, later of the eponymous drink after he became disenchanted with instruments and trained as a doctor. Ironically, Coca-cola was first used to clean the brass parts of musical instruments and only when someone left a pint in their trombone and splattered it over the saxaphone section was it discovered to be delicious.
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I always have my dates at my home so I don't have to carry all my basses.
Speaking of Sousaphones...
Ya know why tubas are always full of dents?
Getting pushed down the stairs in high school.
Ya know why tubas are always full of dents?
Getting pushed down the stairs in high school.
James Brown really did have Ants in his Pants when he needed to dance! Hey!
Roger Glover played all the instruments on Smoke on the Water--but decided to credit the others in the band instead of taking all the credit after they encouraged him not to keep the kazoo track in the final mix.
Several of Fleetwood Mac's albums have been about politicians:
Fleetwood Mac was about Mick Fleetwood's views on Harold MacMillan, and Mr. Wonderful about how much they liked Harold Wilson, and Tusk about Donald Tusk, latterly Prime Minister of Poland. Heroes are Hard to Find was a comment on UK politics of the mid 1970s. Say You Will's full title was "Say You Will Stand for Congress, Lyndsey" but was shortened after he finally declined to do so. However, the album "Live in Boston" was a shameful imperative after the band received lobbyist funding from the Boston Board of Commerce.
Fleetwood Mac was about Mick Fleetwood's views on Harold MacMillan, and Mr. Wonderful about how much they liked Harold Wilson, and Tusk about Donald Tusk, latterly Prime Minister of Poland. Heroes are Hard to Find was a comment on UK politics of the mid 1970s. Say You Will's full title was "Say You Will Stand for Congress, Lyndsey" but was shortened after he finally declined to do so. However, the album "Live in Boston" was a shameful imperative after the band received lobbyist funding from the Boston Board of Commerce.
