Let's spread some musical misinformation

[-Asdfgh-]

so cool .... this guitarist plugs his acoustic 6 string into his new 500 watt cab ...

View attachment 3899620

Disinformation indeed, as that is obviously an 888W cab.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

People who hear the polished production of the song OMG may be surprised to know of its hurried and completely spontaneous recording.

Will.I.Am and Usher were having a bite in the Taco Bell concession during a Clippers game and Will was struck by the attractiveness of their server. Within minutes, Oh My Gosh had been written on the napkin and Will was pushing Usher to record it. Usher was reluctant as his Apple 5S had no Autotune app, but they discovered (exactly how is unknown) that the ladies facility's combination of tiled walls and frosted plexiglass door provided a similar ambience.

Several takes were attempted, but distant sounds of fans chanting the Clippers' score could be heard and also Fergie, who had just digested a Reaper Ranch Quesarito, was by now banging frantically on the plexiglass door to gain access to the only toilet in the building, which the mic also picked up. In the absence of a drum machine app, Will went with the beat. Will intended to work on the rough draft later but, in her haste to get in, Fergie's stiletto had gone right through the Apple's proprietary cable.

Faced with the only alternative of upgrading to an iphone X and paying for someone in a roll-neck and ponytail to transfer files, Will speed-dialled home and pressed playback with his greasy hands, instantly dropping the 'phone into Taco's deep fat fryer. His Ansafone remains the only audio copy to exist.

I didn't understand the musical references. I take it they are all current beat combos or artists? Do any of them play skiffle?

 

[-Asdfgh-]

you can't play a piano properly after eating a tuna sandwich, because it goes out of tune.
But if you play it before or while eating one--you're okay.

Is this where chopsticks comes in handy?

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Soul was originally intended to be light dinner music. It was said to be perfect accompaniment to a perfectly prepared sole almandine.

Soul music is very popular in both Dover and Grimsby in the UK (The latter is northern soul, of course). Of course, in Grimsby it is still 1973.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Soul was originally intended to be light dinner music.

Black metal is perfect as dark dinner music.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Only the best musicians randomly bold and change font size of their words. It can be difficult to detect in singing, but with practice, you can figure it out.

This was how the prompt sheet for William Shatner's version of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds was printed.

 

[Pbassmanca]

New data out from the CDC says that TI flats are a sure-fire cure for Covid-19. Some states are actually buying them up in bulk and repackaging them as "Oily Snake" brand bass strings online. They claim that the sonic power of the sweet mids mean that you don't even need a mask for protection...

 

[1bassleft]

I didn't understand the musical references. I take it they are all current beat combos or artists? Do any of them play skiffle?

Funny you should say that. I had no idea what that noise was until I started teaching. I thought someone had fallen down the stairs and hurt themselves, only to find some Year 11s listening to am mp3 player. I did ask if this were the latest groove from a popular beat combo to shake a leg to, but they laughed for some reason.

Anyway, they tell me that Will. I. Am. used to be called Bill but changed this because the wages at Taco Bell are so low all their staff are from England. Whenever they said, "Who's the bill?" he would put his hand up and they made him pay for all his friends' meals. After the recording with Usher, Will decided to form a band to make music with Fergie - on the basis that, if Taco Bell can get away with saying they make Mexican food...

They came up with the name Black Eyed Pees after the expression on Fergies' face when she finally got into the toilet after that Reaper Ranch Quesarito.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Funny you should say that. I had no idea what that noise was until I started teaching. I thought someone had fallen down the stairs and hurt themselves, only to find some Year 11s listening to am mp3 player. I did ask if this were the latest groove from a popular beat combo to shake a leg to, but they laughed for some reason.

Anyway, they tell me that Will. I. Am. used to be called Bill but changed this because the wages at Taco Bell are so low all their staff are from England. Whenever they said, "Who's the bill?" he would put his hand up and they made him pay for all his friends' meals. After the recording with Usher, Will decided to form a band to make music with Fergie - on the basis that, if Taco Bell can get away with saying they make Mexican food...

They came up with the name Black Eyed Pees after the expression on Fergies' face when she finally got into the toilet after that Reaper Ranch Quesarito.

So have any other British royal family members been in groups in the USA, other than Fergie?

 

[zontar]

You can tune a fish

 

[1bassleft]

You can tune a fish

some say this aphorism is completed by the phrase "but you can't make it drink" but the actual phrase is "you can tune a Fish, but you can't make it understand what a ceilidh is"

Desperate as Marillion were to cash in on their celtic fanbase by writing a song about dancing in tartan, their lead singer completely missed the point and wrote a load of drivel, constantly asking a woman suffering amnesia if he'd broken her heart.

His cousin, Shaun Ryder, similarly mangled Gorillaz' "It's There" with his Manchester accented vocals that Gorillaz were forced to rename the song Dare.
Sorry, that last bit is not misinformation.

 

[1bassleft]

So have any other British royal family members been in groups in the USA, other than Fergie?

Not quite, but the Princess of Wales was romantically linked to Paul Anka while she was still married. Anka wrote a tell-all song about her, forcing Prince Phillip to order MI6 to instigate a conspiracy theory that the song was actually written in 1957 and therefore must have been about someone else.

Years later, at her funeral, Anka threatened to perform the song at Westminster Abbey but was thwarted by some overweight bloke who got up to play a not very good re-write of Candle in the Wind. The unknown prankster was subsequently awarded a Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award, further fuelling the conspiracy theories. Anka got his own back, using the superb acoustics of a Parisian underpass to record a cover of Smells Like Queen's Spirit.

 

[Jay2U]

You can tune a fish

Just one specific fish, the bass.

 

[NZBassman]

every time you smoke a cigarette God takes one day off your life and gives it to Keith Richards

 

[whero]

every time you smoke a cigarette God takes one day off your life and gives it to Keith Richards

Just wondering whether God made the same deal with Keith? If so (does quick math), if he started a 20-a-day habit at the age of 20, by the time he was 60 he would have added over 820 years to his life span. Which is about how old he looks now. Fortunately, time is on his side (even though it waits for no one).

 

[Jay2U]

Never punch a hole in a scale model of your bass. It might actually kill your bass.

 

[jeffbrown]

Soul was originally intended to be light dinner music. It was said to be perfect accompaniment to a perfectly prepared sole almandine.

If the dish isn't properly cooked, then it turns into the blues.

Thanks, I'll see myself out....

 

[Shannon]

So there was a fellow named Floyd who sat outside the Charvel/Jackson facility, and he heard some designers arguing about what to call their new tremolo. During the argument, a construction crane caught the bench Floyd was sitting on. The Jackson rep in the office just happened to look outside as Floyd rose past the window. A legend was born...

 

[Scooter Johnson]

If you give someone a guitar pick you are telling them to go PLUCK themselves !!

 

[Jay2U]

On a new date, always bring your bass.