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Married gear addicts: How do you do it?

micahturner

micahturner

Feb 20, 2010
374
2
Fort Lewis, WA
#1
I've been happily married to my wife for over 8 years, and have known her almost my whole life. We love each other very much, and while she is moderately supportive of my musical "hobby"(her words), nothing sets her off more than when I ask to buy a piece of gear. This is frustrating for me because I am the sole financial provider for my family(1 daughter, 1 wife) so I would think that I could have a little bit of wiggle room as far as asking for money to buy something goes.

I've seen some of your posts and pictures....... some people have accumulate a mass of gear. I have an Ampeg 1975 810, a modern Ampeg 810, an Ampeg SVT-CL, some pedals, and a Fender P-bass. I'm jealous, so I must know; how do you do it?
 
#9
make more than you spend (via music)...

Keep a separate music account

Write her fun money checks out of the music fund.

Plunk a ton of cash every year from music to the kid's college fund

never sell a bass at a loss

never finanace anything

Have them move fast enough that she can't tell what's what
 
#10
That's problem, my wife wants nothing as far as major purchases go. She is what you would call, a financial nazi. A fiscal conservative if you will. She has done me the favor of keeping us completely debt free. By debt free, I really mean debt free. We have no loans, no credit cards, nothing. We pay cash for everything, we save about $1500 a month, invest $600 a month, $100 a month into my daughters college fund.... The rest goes to bills and living expenses. The money is there, but no touching. Pure torture.
 
#11
StereoPlayer said:
I have it shipped to work:ninja: Walk it right past her.
Click to expand...

I've done that with small things, but anything over $1-200 range I'll usually run it by the wife first. If I can justify a need, have the space, and have the spare change around then it's usually a go. A few times I've gotten that "what are you selling if you buy that?" line, but I actually appreciate her acting as my gear conscience from time to time.
 
#12
MNAirHead said:
make more than you spend (via music)...

Keep a separate music account

Write her fun money checks out of the music fund.

Plunk a ton of cash every year from music to the kid's college fund

never sell a bass at a loss

never finanace anything

Have them move fast enough that she can't tell what's what
Click to expand...

Having a music account and keeping it separate would be an awesome idea, but my gig is a church gig in which she knows exactly how much I make. Yeah, that money goes into our finances too. She has me by the proverbial testes men.
 
#13
I just can't pass up a fantastic deal so I use money orders and have Fed Ex or UPS hold it so I can pick it up there. My music (and gamng) room is our Casita which she hardly ever comes into. Here's the trick. Sell stuff you don't really need on Ebay so you can have cash on hand in case a great deal comes along.
 
#14
I'd say your wife has a point...IF she had a job. Since you earn 100% of the money, you should make 100% of the financial decisions. If she doesn't think you're contributing enough money to your joint financial goals, just point out her (zero) contribution and move on. She hasn't kept you debt free- you have. You've earned all of the money for your "cash only" lifestyle.
 
#15
huh. i just buy what i want. we keep our money separate for fun stuff. i make sure never to give her **** over stuff she buys that i think is asinine and she returns the favor. seems to be working fine.

IME, if it was my money, like...... i'm the only person making money for the household, it's all well and good to have somebody help keep track of everything important being taken care of, but this wouldn't be an issue. what is the point of working if not to buy the things that make you happy?
 
#16
I don't gig to "make" money per se, but I do keep my gig money aside for gear purchases. I still spend more than I make doing music, but the negative balance is in the low hundreds, not thousands!

Plus my wife is just happy I don't spend money drinking, playing poker, etc. .... AND, most importantly, she knows how important my "hobby" is to me. Basically it's my only source of fun ... gotta have some enjoyment! lol
 
#17
Sounds like you have a very unique situation there, with its own pros and cons. I wish you luck.

Honestly, I spend my money how I want at all times. However, my long term girlfriend and I see eye to eye on finances and talk out major purchases. She also has her own money that she spends as she sees fit, Once rent, bills and such are dealt with. She and I expect mutual respect and consideration from each other when it comes to money, But if I can afford it, and I need it, I will buy it. She is occasionally stoked, and other times she flips me s*** , example, "The floor is covered with tiny knobs and lights on boxes!! I can hardly vacuum! I guess I'll just have to wiggle all the knobs and then throw them out the window!!!

I typically run a purchase by her before I make it anyway. I'm lucky that she enjoys my "hobby".

Perhaps you two could talk out a monthly deposit of your own hard-earned dollars into a high-yield account, from which you can spend on gear as you please?


Also, give her the shoes line from above and see what happens.
 
#18
micahturner said:
We pay cash for everything, we save about $1500 a month, invest $600 a month, $100 a month into my daughters college fund....
Click to expand...

Very good!

But... that's NOT enough for a college fund! You need to up that to about $600/mo - assuming you have 18 years at 4%. Otherwise, it's Podunk Community College.

Good thing you've only one kid!
 
#20
a) Be sure all your family needs are covered.

b) Save money just for gear, 20 usd at week = 1000 USD in one year...here we go ..your xmas present !!!

c) Buy used

d) Trade...if you are gasing for something , sometimes trade is the cheapest way to get it.

e) Buy something beatiful so your wife wont think you are buying junk. My wife love basses in CAR, Black Sparkling.

f) Dont tell your wife how much you paid for that Sadowsky, tell her that it is a cheap Fender copy :)
 

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