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micro managing the kid's band...
- Thread starter new2bassguitar
- Start date
Not to be too facetious, but this kinda sounds like a sitcom episode.
Kid plays guitar, then dad decides to learn to play bass. Kid and dad have fun for a while, until dad gets really into it and they start a band. They have fun for a while, but Dad being a dad, tries to push things through for the big talent show. Other parents get involved, and conflict ensues, so the kids drag their feet. The parents decide to have a board meeting with charts, matrices, rubrics, and metrics to decide on the one song to play. The problem is solved, or so we think.........
The kids pretend to be happy for the sake of the parents, but deep down they are really depressed because they really wanted to play the Pokemon theme. One of them goes to the supermarket to talk to the old Rockstar that bags groceries about his problem. The Rockstar is like "Dude, this is rock and roll, play whats in your heart, man! It's about freedom dude!". So the kid talks to his bandmates to come up with a plan. The kids rig a pedal that would make the bass amp cut out, and decide on the day of the talent show, they would kill the bass and go ahead and play Pokemon. It's their turn to play, they count out to play the Hives, and instead play Pokemon. The drummer hits the pedal to kill the bass, and they rock out Pokemon like no other. The crowd goes crazy, and dad goes crazier. The kids win the talent show. Afterwards, Dad and the kid talk, and Dad apologizes for getting carried away. The kid forgives him, and thanks him for all his support. They go out for pizza, with their arms on their shoulders, and the credits roll in..........................
Well, David Cassidy was in a band with his mom and it turned out good for a few seasons.
I think in the sequel they steal a van and drive to Texas and play in the Astrodome.
jive1
Commercial User
I think in the sequel they steal a van and drive to Texas and play in the Astrodome.
But when they arrive for check in to the Middle School National Battle of the Bands, the get turned away because their bass player is too old to participate. So, they try their best to dress the dad to make him look like a 12 year old, but the security guard isn't convinced. Frustrated and dejected the band sits outside the parking lot, when all of a sudden Randy Jackson walks by with his son. Randy says to the dejected kids, "hey dawgs, what's wrong?". The kids tell Randy about how they can't compete in the battle of the bands because their bass player is 47. Randy's son offers to play bass for the kids, and they finally get to go on stage. They get up there, and they play a funky version of "Sex Machine" by James Brown and they tear the joint up. During that time, dad is still stuck outside trying to buy a scalped ticket to get in to see the show. The song fades and the credits roll in..........
Support them don't live through them! Let them do their thing and if the decide to continue great if they decide to split or not play anymore for whatever reason it is their lives. It is nice that you connect with your kid. I have 3 of my own and have been a performer for years. I never pushed my kids into music my older guy was a drummer in the HS band my girl loves to sing and wants to be and actress like her mother my younger guy wants to be a journalist. They all think it is cool that they had a Rock and Roll Dad who has player bass for 40+ years but none of them took it up and I never pushed it on them. Support yes pushing them heck no! RTS
I'm pretty sure there was a George Lopez Show episode pretty much just like that...Not to be too facetious, but this kinda sounds like a sitcom episode.
Kid plays guitar, then dad decides to learn to play bass. Kid and dad have fun for a while, until dad gets really into it and they start a band. They have fun for a while, but Dad being a dad, tries to push things through for the big talent show. Other parents get involved, and conflict ensues, so the kids drag their feet. The parents decide to have a board meeting with charts, matrices, rubrics, and metrics to decide on the one song to play. The problem is solved, or so we think.........
The kids pretend to be happy for the sake of the parents, but deep down they are really depressed because they really wanted to play the Pokemon theme. One of them goes to the supermarket to talk to the old Rockstar that bags groceries about his problem. The Rockstar is like "Dude, this is rock and roll, play whats in your heart, man! It's about freedom dude!". So the kid talks to his bandmates to come up with a plan. The kids rig a pedal that would make the bass amp cut out, and decide on the day of the talent show, they would kill the bass and go ahead and play Pokemon. It's their turn to play, they count out to play the Hives, and instead play Pokemon. The drummer hits the pedal to kill the bass, and they rock out Pokemon like no other. The crowd goes crazy, and dad goes crazier. The kids win the talent show. Afterwards, Dad and the kid talk, and Dad apologizes for getting carried away. The kid forgives him, and thanks him for all his support. They go out for pizza, with their arms on their shoulders, and the credits roll in..........................
jive1
Commercial User
Football makes for a pretty decent analogy for most things.
In this case, say my kid and his friends are playing football in the backyard, and there's an odd number of kids. So, they ask me to come out and be the official QB so they have even numbers on each team. So, I go out and toss the pigskin around and we all have a good time. Nothing wrong with that.
Now say, I had such a fun time playing football that I wanted to play football with them everytime. How would it look for a grown man to play football with a bunch of kids like a peer? Now say, I think I'm getting better at playing football. So, I decide to enroll us in a tournament to play competitively. We practice, run plays, etc. Now, how ridiculous would it be for a grown man to compete on a team of kids against teams of kids?
In this case, say my kid and his friends are playing football in the backyard, and there's an odd number of kids. So, they ask me to come out and be the official QB so they have even numbers on each team. So, I go out and toss the pigskin around and we all have a good time. Nothing wrong with that.
Now say, I had such a fun time playing football that I wanted to play football with them everytime. How would it look for a grown man to play football with a bunch of kids like a peer? Now say, I think I'm getting better at playing football. So, I decide to enroll us in a tournament to play competitively. We practice, run plays, etc. Now, how ridiculous would it be for a grown man to compete on a team of kids against teams of kids?
Simply put: Back off and let them figure it out.
If you wanna jam with your kid thats friggin' awesome, and I hope you guys have fun with it, but let JR. play songs HE wants to play. DO NOT DICTATE the music that he's supposed to like. It wont work.
He's your kid and will like different music than you do. It happened with every generation since time. Your parents probably didn't like the bands you loved as a kid, just like you wont like his bands, but at least give him the chance to figure out what HE likes. I'm not telling you to back off as a parent or anything that extreme, just don't be so overbearing that he begins to dislike music.
If you wanna jam with your kid thats friggin' awesome, and I hope you guys have fun with it, but let JR. play songs HE wants to play. DO NOT DICTATE the music that he's supposed to like. It wont work.
He's your kid and will like different music than you do. It happened with every generation since time. Your parents probably didn't like the bands you loved as a kid, just like you wont like his bands, but at least give him the chance to figure out what HE likes. I'm not telling you to back off as a parent or anything that extreme, just don't be so overbearing that he begins to dislike music.
jive1
Commercial User
Even though a hover parent could turn a kid away from music, that's not a big deal in the long term. Only a small percentage of the world's population are musicians. The more important thing is not to turn them into what college officials and instructors call "Crispies" (Kids who are already burnt out when they arrive at college), or "Teacups" (Kids who crack under minimal pressure).
"Hover" or "Helicopter" parents are usually very well intentioned. Seriously, what good parent doesn't want to protect their child and help them reach their full potential? But overdoing it in either direction, and putting the adult world onto them too soon or delaying it for too long, won't help kids. There's studies that show that the kids of hover parents tend to have trouble with decision making, dealing with adverity, sustaining relationships, and being self-sufficient. The inability to select one song in 1 year, and requiring a board meeting/intervention with all the parents involved to make a small decision on a 4 minute action with little consequence is the proof in the pudding, IMO.
Man, I'm glad I don't have kids. I have nephews and a niece who love to come to my farm, and often bring their friends to jam in my studio and use my "kewl" gear. I help or join if I'm asked, or I just leave them to it. Best of all, the say "bye, Uncle Mark", and go home.
Sorry OP, but i gotta agree with the others. I did keep an open mind, but it really does seem like you are over stepping your bounds. If your son and his friends really were interested in this upcoming show, they would be working towards it themselves. From your posts, i would guess they are much less enthusiastic than you are about it, probably they dont want to do it at all. This should surprise you really, at that age its hard for kids to consistant work at something like music, which takes lots of practice and dedication to get the most out of. Hell even alot adults failt to become good musicians because they simply cant bring themselves to dedicate the time needed to become proficient.
I think in the end your heart is in the right place, but the same could be said to those nightmarish "stage dads" and "pageant moms". My advice? Just back off for a while, take this time to learn bass for yourself, and possibly join up with bandmates your own age (hell it doesnt even have to be your age specifically, just adults in general). If your son decides he really wants to get into music, he will come around. Forcing him will mostly likely drive him away from it.
I think in the end your heart is in the right place, but the same could be said to those nightmarish "stage dads" and "pageant moms". My advice? Just back off for a while, take this time to learn bass for yourself, and possibly join up with bandmates your own age (hell it doesnt even have to be your age specifically, just adults in general). If your son decides he really wants to get into music, he will come around. Forcing him will mostly likely drive him away from it.
David Cassidy also got paid. Nobody's getting paid here.Well, David Cassidy was in a band with his mom and it turned out good for a few seasons.
This thread depresses me.
It's one of the more unusual threads I've read on a music forum, but it's been enlightening (for someone who doesn't have children). Surely it's not that big a deal though? Better a father who's doing a lot to help his kids out than one who has doesn't know what his kids are doing? At least he cares enough to get involved, and that's more than I can say for many parents.
good point. it's kind of a fine line i guess. jive nailed it pretty well w/the football analogy i think.
Hey OP, I have done this as a manager for 6 years. PM me if you'd like. My boys are the rhythm section. We have very similar stories. Check the band's Facebook (below) for a reference. The difference is we started as a worship band and are now billing ourselves as a rock band in the vein of Switchfoot and Skillet.
