• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Music Hating Spouse

#21
Or, your wife could be like one of my bandmates wife, who comes to every single show, sits at a table from set-up through tear down, doesn't make any effort to be social or help with anything, and just generally displays a negative attitude most of the time. It's not bad to have differing avocations than your wife.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jerry
#23
My wife is Peruvian and loves salsa, merengue and stuff like that and loves to dance and I absolutely couldn't do that in a million years although she did try to get me to take lessons. She will tolerate some of my music like certain Beatles tunes, some Elvis Presley, etc, she likes melodic stuff.
She met Roger Waters in the airport here waiting for me to land a few years ago and I figured I'd bring her to see him since she had gotten a picture with him although she had no idea who he was, she just saw people crowding around him and figured he was famous. The other day 'The Wall' came on the radio and she said, "I like that, who is it? :laugh:
I brought her to see James Taylor once in Mass and also to see McCartney here a few years ago, she liked both of them so I guess I should be grateful she puts up with Iggy Pop and Jerry Lee Lewis (as long as the door is closed) I am helped greatly by the fact that the buildings out here are all made of concrete which is a great "sound container". I can blast my stereo and with the door closed you can't hear it in the next room.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GroovyBaby
#25
Part of having a good relationship with your spouse is encouraging each other to pursue things they enjoy. Why does you wanting to play and listen to music have to involve your wife? I would be more on her side if you were for example playing loudly and it was bothering her significantly.
 
#27
My wife has a tendency to binge listen to a certain artist, currently Bruno Mars. She's run through Willie Nelson, Bruce Springsteen, Aretha Franklin and now, maybe Florence and the Machine, which I "forgot" was in her car's stereo.

Score one for premature signs of a neurological disorder!
 
#30
jerry said:
I have a friend whose wife only likes Christmas music and plays it every day of the year, I'd take the non-music loving spouse any day over that.:) If you wife doesn't interfere with your passion, no biggie.
Click to expand...

That sounds borderline abusive..: does your friend need help? I found out a few years ago my wife has a Santa fetish… I hate Christmas…
 
  • Like
Reactions: J_Bass, instrumentalist and definenredefine
#32
My wife hates everything, I am relegated to watching tv with her every night. No time to play the bass or anything else. My father's day card said relax and enjoy your day, the daily orders soon followed. I finished cooking supper and the subsequent cleaning up by 9, took the dog for a walk and listened to a few more complaints while America's Got Talent blared on the tv. I wish she only hated music.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Vinny Vincenzo, Jimmy P. and squarepeg
#33
For the biggest part of my gigging days, I was married to a good singer who'd been in lots of bands but did not want to play out any more. So, she knew the life, and I had no worries about a 'civilian' not understanding 'the life'.

After I was widowed, I started playing out again as a diversion to get over the loss. My current wife IS a 'civilian' but was OK with it until . . . . . I did a gig with a husband and wife trio whose marriage was either in trouble or rather fluid. She gets drunker through the gig, and starts leaning all over her bass playing new buddy who she THINKS is all ears and sympathetic to her problems . . . right in front of my new wife. I felt for the girl, but I had NO interest in what she was interested in . . . .

The horns came out. Only then was I very suddenly reminded just how much civilians just don't know about 'the life'. It was nothing to me. Not her.

I was about done anyway, but that pretty much put a period on the end of my gigging days.
 
#34
As long as she follows your program and respects you in return, I would see no problem let alone why you should care. If she were to follow up with her sabotaging your passion in any circumstance, I'd find another girl but in your case she seems to respect your passion and so you should not care and continue being yourself.
 
#35
I chose music as my life long before I met my wife. We have vastly different tastes, but enough common ground to go to tons of shows together. I've even developed a soft (hard?) spot for Dua Lipa (Levitating snaps). No music allowed to be played in the house would without question = bye. If music is only a hobby/avocation for you, maybe there is some gray area, but for me I'd still change the locks. Even if it was Charlize Theron with a pile of bacon.
 
#36
I've been married and divorced twice. I am under no illusions that anyone I am involved with needs/is going to be interested in the same music that I am, nor do I consider it a requirement. My partner respects my music and my vocation and even enjoys listening to me play with various bands, but we do not agree on what kind of music we like. And that's okay. We have many other interests in common. I stopped trying to convert people to my favorite music years ago, and I've been happier for it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: definenredefine
#40
I my first wife disliked anything I did which did not revolve around her.
My second wife is fine with music but does not like to sit in bars all night listening to music. She prefers being home at night with a book or a movie. She’ll occasionally take a mood and turn me into a bartender or designated driver, and will also occasionally come out to see me play, but it will most likely be with friends so she’s not stuck in some bar all night because she’s with the band.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back