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Musician Jokes
- Thread starter johnny rg
- Start date
q: what has three legs and an a**hole on top?
a: a drum stool
q:what does a stripper do with her a**hole before she goes to work?
a: drives him to band practice
a: a drum stool
q:what does a stripper do with her a**hole before she goes to work?
a: drives him to band practice
A little kid says to his father: 'Dad, when I grow up I want to be a drummer.'
The father replies: 'Can't do both son.'
The father replies: 'Can't do both son.'
A beginning bass player starts taking bass lessons, so on the first day his teacher teaches him all the notes on the E string. During his next lesson, his teacher teaches him all the notes on the A string. Before the next lesson, the student calls the teacher and tells him "I won't be needing to take lessons any more." The teacher asks "why not? You've only had two lessons, so you only know the notes on the E and A strings."
The student says "I got a gig already. I'm playing with a metal band."
The student says "I got a gig already. I'm playing with a metal band."
2 lead guitarists decide to have a race to see who can jump off a cliff and reach the bottom first. Who wins?
Society.
Society.
I love this one.What's the difference between a Drum solo & a Koliedascope ?
One of them produces a series of random patterns that would be amusing to a 4 year old ; And the other is a thing you hold up to your eye.
One of them produces a series of random patterns that would be amusing to a 4 year old ; And the other is a thing you hold up to your eye.
A bassist is wandering around a sporting goods store, when he sees a sign over the gun case: "Precision Shooting Rifles."
He finds a clerk and asks, "hey man, got any jazz rifles?"
He finds a clerk and asks, "hey man, got any jazz rifles?"
whats the difference between a guitarist and a bassist
after the show the bassist asks how did we sound, the guitarists asks how did we look
after the show the bassist asks how did we sound, the guitarists asks how did we look
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
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A girl is set up on a blind date with a trumpet player. She goes on the date, and later reports to her best friend: The date was alright but when he kissed me it was all tight and horrible, I don't think I'll go out with him again.
The next night she dates a tuba player. Again she reports to her friend. She says that this time the kiss was all open mouthed and slobbery, and she wouldn't date him again.
The next night she dates a french horn player. Her best friend asked how he kissed and the girl replied "Well, his kiss wasn't any better than the others, but I like the way he held me!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
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Q: Why do deadheads swirl their arms when they dance?
A: To keep the music out of their eyes.
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Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
Even a virus has some pride.
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
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A girl is set up on a blind date with a trumpet player. She goes on the date, and later reports to her best friend: The date was alright but when he kissed me it was all tight and horrible, I don't think I'll go out with him again.
The next night she dates a tuba player. Again she reports to her friend. She says that this time the kiss was all open mouthed and slobbery, and she wouldn't date him again.
The next night she dates a french horn player. Her best friend asked how he kissed and the girl replied "Well, his kiss wasn't any better than the others, but I like the way he held me!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?
New age music.
-----------------------
Q: Why do deadheads swirl their arms when they dance?
A: To keep the music out of their eyes.
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Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
Even a virus has some pride.
