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My Situation

#42
jive1 said:
There's a few lessons to be learned here, and it's best you learn them now because at your age the tuition is cheap. As you get older, the tuition goes up steeply.

Lesson 1 - Don't put all your emotional eggs in one basket.
Don't let someone else be the sole source of your self esteem, hope for the future, and happiness of the present. If my wife left me, I'd be devastated for sure. But, I have my faith, my friends, my work, my business, my hobbies, etc. to pull me through. Look at it this way, you just got the keys back to your mental home and you get to furnish it the way YOU want to. You may thank her for it.

Lesson 2 - Pick yourself off, dust off and keep going.
One sure way to plunge deeper into depression is to dwell on it. Humans are creatures of habit, and you do not want to develop a habit of being depressed. Develop other habits that will bring you into a better state of mind. Being depressed does neither you nor anyone else any good. If you need help, seek it. If you can do it on your own, do it. Either way, DO SOMETHING!

Lesson 3 - No self respecting woman wants a groveling loser.
If you want her back, you have to be the best you can be. The EMOesque romanticism of a depressed lover that grovels over their loss fades once real life sets in and bills need to be paid, work needs to be done, and real fun is to be had. Groveling, losing hope, having self pity, etc. doesn't make you attractive to anyone worthwhile. All you are doing is dropping the value of your stock.

Lesson 4 - The best revenge is to live well.
Live well my friend. Live well, live long, and prosper. She may decide that she wants to come back when she sees how well you are doing. But then, you are in a position of strength and YOU get to decide. More than likely you will decide that your "new" life is much better than the old one. So get out there!
Click to expand...

THIS, and wear a jimmy. ;)
 
#45
You know, this is what amazes me about TB...
There is SO MUCH friggen wisdom in this thread alone that it's frightening. Who'd ever of thunk it??

As I said before, I know that it hurts dude, I've been there. As much as it sucks, sometimes I think that this really is part of the learning process in life. It's almost like you NEED to have this bullsh*t happen in order to learn from it and come out the better for it.
You can't lose, you can't sink into self-pity, you have to grab yourself by the 'nad satchel and get back on your feet to make this whole thing work for you instead of it grinding you into the dirt.
Read the advice given in this thread repeatedly. No truer words have ever been spoken. We're pullin for you bro.
 
#49
Maybe I should try to move on, and not worry about the fact she might not want me back. Thanks for all the advice guys, and im gonna read it over and over when I start to feel like **** or if I start to feel like I want her back.

You wanna know another thing that sucks about this situation? We had planned to visit MI, come back to MD, pack up, and then move to MI. So almost all of my things are in Maryland, along with my cat. I currently just have my xbox, laptop, a weeks worth of clothes, and toiletries. I have to get the money together to send her so she can pack up all my things and ship them.
 
#50
Update on the situation:

She called me today before she left for work, and I told her she needed to choose. It's either me or him. She said "I don't want to be with you right now but I also don't want to be with him, I just want to take a break and be alone."

I told her I can't just sit here and wait for you. I can't sit here wondering everyday if you're gonna call and tell me that you want to get back together. I told her I can't live my life like that and she needed to decide right then and there if she wanted to be with me or not.

I'm trying to think this is for the better. And I think it is. I feel like ****. I haven't eaten in days. My back, head, and stomach are constantly in pain, but it's not going to be like this forever. Atleast that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

I told her that when I hang up this phone, im not going to get back with you. She didn't care, and I shouldn't either.
 
#52
YO MAN, DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS. SHE IS JUST DOING THIS TO SEE IF SHE STILL HAS YOU HOOKED. END OF STORY. SHE DON'T WANT YOU, SHE WANTS TO KNOW SHE CAN HAVE YOU IF THIS GUY FALLS THROUGH, AND WHEN HE DOES, SHE WILL.

IF THIS OTHER GIRL IS A SLUT. WRAP UP THE PENIS, AND STAB HER GUTS LIKE JASON VORHEES.

seriously man. if she is a slut, that means she will give it to you with no effort. for real man. tear it up. just make sure you wrap it up if she a lil slutty, and make sure you give it hard. for real, you aren't trying to marry this girl. being a little slutty means she will do things i bet your x wouldn't, stuff you've seen in porno movies. it's worth it.
 
#53
Slapp Addict said:
Maybe I should try to move on, and not worry about the fact she might not want me back. Thanks for all the advice guys, and im gonna read it over and over when I start to feel like **** or if I start to feel like I want her back.

You wanna know another thing that sucks about this situation? We had planned to visit MI, come back to MD, pack up, and then move to MI. So almost all of my things are in Maryland, along with my cat. I currently just have my xbox, laptop, a weeks worth of clothes, and toiletries. I have to get the money together to send her so she can pack up all my things and ship them.
Click to expand...

dude, you drive back to md. the ride by yourself will be awesome. pack your stuff up, and be done. delete her from your phone, and move on.
 
#54
xshawnxearthx said:
being a little slutty means she will do things i bet your x wouldn't, stuff you've seen in porno movies. it's worth it.
Click to expand...

This is part of why it hurts. My ex did ANYTHING. Not only that, but she shaved her entire body. I am not kidding. She also was verrrrrry hygienic. Used a baby wipe everytime she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth every night, showered every day, etc.

You see why I think I will never find another girl like her and that im making a mistake? This is only a fraction of the reason why. Her personality is also something I have never came across.

This is so messed up. I am so ****ed.
 
#56
One of the things I do agree with in here is the advice about not answering her phone calls anymore. You ended it, now keep your word to yourself. This is just a small step in the healing process bro....keep your word, show some self respect.

Chances are that when she calls you, the other guy or one of her GF's is sitting next to her, and she said something like..."let's see what he says this time when he answers. He like totally wants me". If you pick up that phone, you are always going to feel like you do right now. It won't go away.

Oh.....and Jive.....you already cut and paste all your NFL thoughts from other people at ESPN, so quit doing it here with wisdom from the Dr. Phil website. :D

-Mike
 
#57
Slapp Addict said:
This is part of why it hurts. My ex did ANYTHING. Not only that, but she shaved her entire body. I am not kidding. She also was verrrrrry hygienic. Used a baby wipe everytime she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth every night, showered every day, etc.

You see why I think I will never find another girl like her and that im making a mistake? This is only a fraction of the reason why. Her personality is also something I have never came across.

This is so messed up. I am so ****ed.
Click to expand...
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN WITH ONE CHICK man, you don't know what else is out there.

shaving the entire body is overrated. all girls brush their teeth(sometimes 3 times a day) and most shower daily(if not twice).

girls who are hygenic, and shave their va-jay-jay aren't hard to come by. hell, i think ever girl i dated shaved there va-jay-jay. nowadays that type of thing is overrated anyways. trust me when i say, you may think it was great, wait till it's new. even if it's not better, it'll be new, and for that, it'll be better.
 
#60
I can't ignore her. I love her too much and care about her too much. I'd almost rather her be with the both of us than her not be with me at all.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so ****ed up? I can't ignore her calls and tell her that im not gonna be there for her if she ever wants me back because I just don't feel that in my heart. I just keep thinking over and over again in my head that this girl is the one and I can't afford to lose her.
 

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