Don't get me wrong guys, I appreciate your advice and I honestly do try to go through with it. But I can't. I'm not being some little puss sitting around all day crying, but if I could just snap my fingers and act another way about her I would. Trust me I would love for that to happen. But when I try to act like I can ignore her calls, or I stop thinking about her, or that I can move on and get her out of my life, I get scared. I'm not gonna lie, I get so scared. I get scared that one of those phone calls might be her calling to tell me that she wants to get back together, and if I don't answer she will think "well **** you then" and change her mind. I'm scared if I ignore her that she will think I don't love her anymore and that will make her move on and forget about me when that is not what I want. And no matter how hard I try to think differently about it, it's like it just replays over and over and over again in my mind until I just totally break down and have to call/txt her.
I just can't win with this situation and it's horrible.
No, you can't win with this situation. That's why you need to quit and play a different game. Game's over. Even if you were to get back together, it would have to be as different people in a different relationship. At the present, she doesn't have enough respect for you. And by the way you are describing your emotions and your actions, you don't have enough respect for yourself. Those factors do not add to a successful relationship. This game is OVER, no matter how much hope you have. The only way to start a new game is to change those two things.
Keep in mind that she's young as well. She's still exploring the world and getting to know herself. She doesn't owe it to you to be in a relatoinship with her, and neither do you. At her age she probably doesn't know herself or knows exactly what she wants from life or a partner. Not many of did in our teens or 20s. And what we thought we knew probably changed as we got older. Not only have us old guys been through similar things before, we also get to talk to these same girls when they are grown up and they talk about their mistakes, immaturity, past relationships, etc.
No, you won't be able to snap out of this like hitting a switch. You are human and humans crave intimacy. You lost yours. Along with that, you lost part of your future, identity, and respect. You need to get those back in order to move forward. You're scared. Scared, because you are facing a future alone at the moment. Your fear is a curse and a blessing. A curse because you'll have to make changes. A blessing because it reminds you that your future is yours alone to decide.
Take a roadtrip with a friend, or that better yet, that girl that likes you to pick up your stuff. Have a good time, see cool stuff, do fun things, and listen to cool music. Throw her picture out the window on the way.
After that, occupy your time with friends and activities.
You'll be on your way to healing soon enough.
