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My Wife Poses the Ultimate Question

#161
I guess I don't really run into that problem too often (with basses). I should say why.

First, I try not to buy things on a whim, because the things I own are a responsibility, and I only like to keep things in my life when I can take responsibility for them. For example, if I buy a bass, but I have others that I never use or maintain, it feels like my basses don't mean much to me. I don't want them to be… neglected. Why buy another when I can't keep up with the ones I have? So I never get the "do you really need another bass" question, because… well, I don't need one, and I've got my hands full already.

Second, I really like the idea of tools that can multitask. Lots of folks (here and abroad) will say I should use "the right tool for the job." But, TBH, most of the time, one tool can do lots and lots of jobs—as long as I find (or build) the most versatile tool I can. Most of the time it's even easier than that: I think it's possible to just learn to use my instrument in a way that is versatile. For example, if I learn how to use my bass' tone and pickup controls, I can get enough sounds that I don't need another bass. Or if I learn how to do some basic electronics work, I can get even more sounds out of my bass.

There are, of course, limits. I just bought my first bass in 13 years, because I really wanted to learn to play fretless. My partner never asked, "Do you need another bass?" Instead, she said, "Yeah. I think you really need to get that bass."
 
#164
yobtaf said:
I love my wife to death. If it wasnt for her I probably would have committed suicide 15 years ago.
I just sold a 73 rickenbacker and wanted to get another bass. I have 7. She said to you really need another one right now.
It got me thinking... do I? well no, but i do want it and it would make me happy.
So now Im more stable and im not suicidal anymore. but after that conversation i do feel homicidal...
What should I get to make these feelings pass???
hahah I kid, I sold the ric and didnt buy anything.


ps i wasnt suicidal.
Click to expand...

You must have quite a stable to have given up the Ric.
 
#167
lermgalieu said:
That's not what a marriage is about, especially if you have kids. I certainly agree that your spouse shouldn't have "veto" power, but it has less than nothing to do with who is the main "provider." Marriage is a partnership, doesn't matter who's bringing in the paycheck.

EDIT: And yes, I currently bring in the only paycheck. But it wasn't always that way, and it might not be that way in the future. Meanwhile, she is dealing with the kids and project managing serious work on a house we just bought, all while staying active as a visual artist. She has an equal say in all things.
Click to expand...

Very well said.

We both work, but it doesn't matter. Staying a home dealing with all the daily tasks, including the kids IS a full time job. In these case, I don't think the one that works out is the only provider. Because the one who stays at home should receive a paycheck from the other one, then. With benefits. And it wouldn't be a small one.
 
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#168
I really dont get these threads. If the household finances are in order and you're not just buying gear like a crazy person, who cares if you buy something that makes you happy? You can't take it with you. If a new bass or new amp or new dress or new whatever is going to make you happy and you can afford it without sacrificing bills or retirement, do it. Any loving spouse should support that. And frankly music gear is one of the best money intensive hobbies to have, because if you make smart purchases, it can ultimately be almost free. I mean, I have gear that was essentially completely paid for by selling other gear at a profit. I've made 100s of dollars on items before. And we're not talking about sure things that I bought as an investment. Just stuff that I liked and could afford and it so happened that it appreciated like crazy in the time I had it (over some number of years). I bought a Rhodes in the 90s for like $375, sold it a few years ago for close to 900 (and missing the sustain pedal which got lost during a move). I bought a MIJ Tele Thinline around the same time for about the same price, and sold it almost twice that after about 10 years. I paid about $125 (including shipping) circa 2000 for a "Roland keyboard" on ebay after I asked the guy what the model was (JX-3P) and took a chance that it might be fun, especially for the price. It showed up in a flight case and included the programmer module meaning I could tweak all the parameters with knobs rather than going into the menus. Sold it 2 or 3 years ago for about 700 bucks.

So I mean, if you buy even something plain like a used US jazz bass, if you keep it in good shape, you can basically sell it for what you bought it for, and sometimes more. if you're religious about buying low and selling high, maybe you'll make 20 or 50 or 100 bucks per item average. And so if you buy and sell a lot of items, that few bucks adds up over time. If I took the profits of the 5 or so best deals I've made, I could probably buy a used Ric 4003. I created that from nothing. And I didnt exploit or cheat anyone, I just took advantage of market changes over time, and smart buying.

So yeah, if you're really sloppy and impulsive with purchases, your spouse may be likely to push back a lot on any new one, knowing that money is just going down the drain. But if you have a track record for making smart deals on both ends, there's no reason why someone should hold you back from that as long as the funds are there. And honestly, sometimes you have to take those bold risks too. A while ago I picked up a "floor model" US Gibson semi hollow. With case and shipping after a holiday discount, I paid less than 800 bucks, for what was normally about a $1700 guitar. When I got it, it was clear it never spent any time on "the floor" and was just being closed out for cheap. At the time, I could PAY for it, but I couldn't really "afford" it. But I took the chance because the deal was too good to pass up. It did mean a bit of crunch shortly later until my cash flow caught up, but nothing major (and I factored all of that into my decision). I bought it to play and not to sell, but I wouldn't be surprised if I could get 900 out of it fairly easily, and probably more if I was patient.

So what I'm saying is by all means let the wife or whoever weigh in on the decision, BUT also make your case. The more facts and rational justifications you can provide, the better, but also "it will provide me pleasure owning and playing it" is a perfectly valid reason. Establish a track record as a smart buyer and seller. Hell, if you're so inclined, offer her some percent of the profits so she has a stake in it. It then becomes "free" money so you don't have to worry about being frivolous with it.
 
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#170
EdO. said:
Deal I made with my wife - whatever I spend on another bass or amp she gets the same amount in cash to spend as she pleases. Makes me think about how badly I want or need something and keeps her happy. Win - win.
Click to expand...
"Tit for Tat" Works at my house. I don't begrudge her pocketbooks, shoes, jewelry, and she is doesn't hold my basses, amps, and grills against me. Everybody's happy. Important piece of the pie is it all is in the Budget!!
 
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#175
When a spouse asks 'Do you really need another bass?', they're actually asking 'What am I supposed to do with all this crap when you're gone?' That's why it's a good idea to keep a record of what you paid and present day market value for each item, just a short description kept in each gigbag to facilitate an orderly and anxiety-free disposition of the assets when the time comes. In my situation, I keep a journal but I keep it hidden because when the truth comes out, I'm gonna be glad I'm dead.
 
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#176
Instead, a prudent spouse should ask: "Honey, in a divorce situation, would we need our lawyers to determine the value of your goldflake rattlecan T-40 with the broken phase switch and non-original knobs, or is it better just to sell everything? Just askin'..."
 
#178
Okay-- okay --- okay -- see here's a what ya do----

you start "flipping gear" --- I buy and sell a BUNCH of gear (mostly low end yard sale Squires -- pawn shop epis and Deans) -- get em -- fix bad solder joints-- adjust necks polish set up and sell for 50 to 200% profit (its a hobby) --- but----here is the kicker -- when you move (sometimes 2-3 guitars or basses a week) she CANT FRIGGIN KEEP UP -- while all them "shells" are moving around you keep your "peas" -- rotate stock in and out of cases -- you can buy ALL the gear ya want -- upgrade from cheap to mid level to REALLY nice gear--------without the Misses knowing a thing----- you WANT a new Thunderbird--- get an Epi one for 100.00 (or less) at a pawn shop -- (polish it up real good) keep it a month or so--- then SELL IT -- "Honey gotta go meet this guy for the craigslist sale-- " (leave dump the epi-- bring back the Gibbo) " he tried to get me to take 60.00 what a jerk! Im not going that LOW!!! -- and replace it on the stand with a same color GIBSON Thunderbird------ they DONT PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION--- she will never know ;)
-- FYI do NOT use the above scenario more than twice in a year-- they will smell that one-- BE CREATIVE--
buy to mid level guitars and TRADE them for a top level guitar-- (See honey-- I am down to the one)
its worked like a charm for 10 years of happy marriage -- Im floating or flipping at least 20 items all the time--- she could not keep track if she had a play book)

(I also throw her a couple bucks -- or take her out to dinner when I flip a guitar for say 200% profit) that keeps the "concept" of "flipping is GOOD in her head....... :)

you boys gotta learn how to play LONG BALL. ;)
 
#180
In a way---- however -- we both were married before (round 2) her ex was a PILOT and golfer--- so his hobby's took him AWAY from home--(and into OTHER extracurricular activities) my ex was just a drunken tramp--

so the fact that my gear flipping and her Bird breeding/raising and selling hobby (she has a BUNCH of damn birds Parrots-- and stuff they are LOUD DUDE) occur without much "asking" into the others affairs (like Im sure she does the same with them squawking things-- I dont ask---like her I say oh that one is very nice dear) and move on ---- its good deal --we are both HOME enjoying our hobbies and everyone is happy :)

SHes probably telling her friends the same thing (just get 100 damn birds he wont know which is which!!!!00 BUWAHAHAHAHA
 

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