Not sure how to feel about this...

[pepj]

When things go on without you knowing..thats concerning but when you meet tonight, I'd say good to play again and be upbeat and positive.
Its hard for people to lie to your face so I'd be seeing if I got that vibe that they are.
Ask them when the next rehearsal is and if they say there isnt one..when you normally rehearse weekly, then I'd probably ask if there was a problem.

 

[JC BASS 91]

Is the new drummer contributing to the vocals? That may be the answer.

He is not.

 

[JC BASS 91]

Honestly I see it as a big red flag. To exclude someone from a rehearsal with no explanation in advance is sneaky.

Are you not “close” to any of them? Are you just a hired gun or are you part of the band?

You said after Feb show the “main members” discussed the future. How many other members are there that aren’t “main members”?

Not letting you know what was going on and excluding you is treating you like an outsider. If anything the bass player is linked to drummer and any rehearsal you can get in with a new drummer is of great benefit.

My guess is they are either ignorant or trying out a new bass player.

There were 6 of us that made up the band. The four that remain are the main members: keys, keys player's wife, guitarist and myself.

 

[ArtechnikA]

I like to be informed of band goings-on because I have insecurities like most artists.
And that gives me license to attend if I choose.
But in fact one of my biggest frustrations is being part of vocal and guitar rehearsals when they're nailing down harmonies and such.
The rhythm section is unnecessary. All you need are tracks, or maybe a Trio pedal. Beat Buddy, tops.
Vocal workups are essential, but if I already know the song, it's just a big waste of time.

 

[Gluvhand]

He is not.

I was reaching a bit. I wouldn't feel good about it.

 

[gln1955]

There were 6 of us that made up the band. The four that remain are the main members: keys, keys player's wife, guitarist and myself.

Not to drop into a cliche and not knowing the folks involved, but the keys player and his wife (what does she contribute, by the way?) are a combo set up for doing things behind the other members' backs. I would not let this incident slide or there will be more this in the future. You might also talk to each person individually and see if their stories line up.

 

[mdogs]

I am the new guy in my band and I know that the rest of the members have conversations about this and that without involving me. I know that the two guitar players and the singer have gotten together to go over things without involving me. I live over an hour away from where we rehearse, but we have rehearsed a total of 7 times since I joined a year ago, so no big deal. I'm good with it all, but if we were bringing in a new drummer and I was not involved, I would be very pissed.

 

[Knavery]

Think of it like being the bass player of Metallica.

 

[bigdaddybass12]

But, it is a flag for you for future interactions with the band. Unfortunately, I'd not be able to trust them until I knew why they didn't have me at that meeting. But, I've hit the age where I don't have a lot of time for nonsense and would walk away. I think your approach is more mature and will give you the best chance of keeping the band intact.
And I hope Carie beats the cancer. That's terrible.

Yes on this,
1st Hope Carie does well, pls tell her that talkbass guys are thinking about her,
2nd. You need to be included in meetings, ask for that going forward. May want to be adamant about it.
3rd, It is possible you are reading too much into it since they started the band, but you should have not been left out. Its already done, play music and have fun. But kinda keep an eye out.

 

[murphy]

The vocalist and drummer were the ones that brought me into the group to begin with because they couldn't find a bass player that could commit the time. I know that the remaining members have been in the local music scene for a lot longer than I have been (I took a long time off from 2007 until 2021 to raise my kids) so they know more bassists, but apparently they couldn't get any of those to commit to the group. So, while I don't think they are looking to replace me, it still feels really weird. I will add that my wife is furious with them for excluding me. She has been the one to do all of our photos and videos we use on social media. I am also the one that setup our social media to begin with because none of them are 'techy' enough (I'm an IT professional).

I don't know. Like I said, I'm just really not sure how to feel about it. None of the remaining members have ever given me a reason to not trust them...but I'm one of those people that is normally NOT the trusting type (pulled too many knives out of my back).

Part of me feels like I'm reading too much into it and that they are being honest with what they've told me. All of them commented at the end of the night last night how much they've missed me being around (too which I bit my tongue and didn't say "Well, you were the ones that chose not to include me."...like I said, I'm not into the drama thing).

If it looks like a duck
Walks like a duck...
It's a duck

A lesson I learned from my cheating Ex wife

 

[murphy]

The one time this happened to me, they replaced me shortly after. Luckily, I was about to quit anyway

Me too
They use my backing tracks with no bass player

 

[Gluvhand]

W

Think of it like being the bass player of Metallica.

Without the $1,000,000 signing bonus

 

[murphy]

The new drummer brought their bass player sounds the obvious and probable explanation.

 

[logdrum]

They are so confident in you, so they gave you a rest day.

 

[djmay]

Start your exit. Inform your bandmates that you are going to leave, and observe the reaction. This kind of behavior is a foreshadowing of drama, which would be of no interest to me.

 

[BlueTalon]

See, that's kind of what I keep trying to tell myself, and that's based on comments I have received from them. The drummer that basically came in off the street for that last gig in February really boosted my self-esteem as a player with his high praise of my playing. He looked at me at the end of the show and said, "Where the heck have you been hiding?! I've played in the local scene for over 3 decades and I've never met you or seen you before and you are SOLID!"

I don't know...

Stay in touch with this guy.

 

[lbbc]

I'll give an example of why we left our new guitarist out of rehearsals....and we practice at his place (we have been friends for over 50 years and I have a key to his place).

Our lead guitarist is great. He and his wife go to his father-in-law's home (6 hours north) to take care of him each month. He comes back for gigs....thank goodness.

We have rehearsals, work on 3 part harmonies and new material while he's away. I forward everything to him....songs, key, where it would fit in the set list etc. He does his homework, just like the rest of us. It's NOT that he is intentionally slighted, he doesn't sing so we work on those aspects when he's not available. Maybe that's all it is for you....just working people in. But communication is key!!!

 

[Gluvhand]

I'll give an example of why we left our new guitarist out of rehearsals....and we practice at his place (we have been friends for over 50 years and I have a key to his place).

Our lead guitarist is great. He and his wife go to his father-in-law's home (6 hours north) to take care of him each month. He comes back for gigs....thank goodness.

We have rehearsals, work on 3 part harmonies and new material while he's away. I forward everything to him....songs, key, where it would fit in the set list etc. He does his homework, just like the rest of us. It's NOT that he is intentionally slighted, he doesn't sing so we work on those aspects when he's not available. Maybe that's all it is for you....just working people in. But communication is key!!!

So completely different than the OP.

 

[robassable]

Weird?: Why would any group break in a new drummer without the bassist (the other member of the rhythm section), and not telling you?? You should be the primary one involved with the process. At best your bandmates are simply being inconsiderate of you. At worst the upshot could be they plan to replace you, or there is a dysfunctional power dynamic and they want major control of the band's doings, which means leaving you out of the loop. Have a beer with them and try to clear the air. Hopefully, that will help you figure out how to be comfortable with your role as a band mate, so it's not eating away at you.

 

[lermgalieu]

The issue is that there wasn't any communication. They say they were doing you a favor, but how do they know that without asking you and what would it hurt by giving you the option to participate or not? I say its hella sus, and I would be leery of them from now on because they don't keep you in the loop.