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Oh look, it's another relationship-thread!

#126
So yeah, here's an update as per Ziltoids request... ( I think I hate you:D)

So, the weekend after my last post I hung out with the cutie in question (while we are both drinking...). Everything went well untill I asked her about what we talked about the last time we met...

Turns out that after she told me what she told me, she proceeded to get so drunk that she didn't remember anything.
So I tell her what she had said, which results in her pretty much having a full out anxiety attack. Breathing difficulties, weak knees, the works... At this point it's pretty clear that I was not supposed to know that she has feelings for me and we decide that we should talk it out while we are both sober.
Sounds like a good idea to me, only problem is now she won't answer my texts or calls. So I have no idea what's going on. God I love alcohol...:atoz:

Thing is, now she reminds me of myself a few years ago; no job, regular weed smoker, and troubles with depression and anxiety. Not really the kind of woman I see myself with at this point in life (I've gotten my act together), so I think I'm pretty much gonna give it a pass...

Red flags? Eeeehh, yeah.
 
#127
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#136
In my experience, you either date a crazy chick, or you don't have a girlfriend. :(

Either that, or you have occasional casual sex with all the same lushes everyone else is having occasional casual sex with.

Anyway, it sounds to me like she's suffering from the alcohol regrets and she's too embarrassed to talk to you again. You'll have to wait until she's tanked up again before you'll get anything out of her. What you may possibly have, I'm afraid, is a "drunk weather friend".
 
#138
DeathFromBelow said:
So yeah, here's an update as per Ziltoids request... ( I think I hate you:D)

So, the weekend after my last post I hung out with the cutie in question (while we are both drinking...). Everything went well untill I asked her about what we talked about the last time we met...

Turns out that after she told me what she told me, she proceeded to get so drunk that she didn't remember anything.
So I tell her what she had said, which results in her pretty much having a full out anxiety attack. Breathing difficulties, weak knees, the works... At this point it's pretty clear that I was not supposed to know that she has feelings for me and we decide that we should talk it out while we are both sober.
Sounds like a good idea to me, only problem is now she won't answer my texts or calls. So I have no idea what's going on. God I love alcohol...:atoz:

Thing is, now she reminds me of myself a few years ago; no job, regular weed smoker, and troubles with depression and anxiety. Not really the kind of woman I see myself with at this point in life (I've gotten my act together), so I think I'm pretty much gonna give it a pass...

Red flags? Eeeehh, yeah.
Click to expand...

This woman is a parent living this lifestyle?

You know the answer to your original question. You were probably looking for a way around it. But there isn't. This has disaster written all over it. If you're 34 and can't recognize that, well...

Now IMO, the only way to rationally pursue this irrational pursuit is to take (1) time and (2) control -- and stop acting like a bumbling schoolboy in love. How? Tell her that if she's really interested in pursuing a relationship with you, you'd be interested also, but only under certain conditions. The point of these conditions is to break her relationship and lifestyle cycle to give the relationship even the slightest chance of survival.

1. Nothing whatsoever happens for 6-8 months
2. During that time, she moves out, gets a job, stops drugs, and reduces drinking substantially.
3. She breaks off romantic or semi-romantic relationships with other guys including your friend. (STD testing?)
4. She decides what she really wants out of life and her next relationship and writes it down.

Sound harsh? Too controlling? Unrealistic?

IMHO, it's the only chance to make this actually turn into something meaningful instead of a Springer show. Your choice. Proceed at your own peril.
 
#139
boristhespider9 said:
This woman is a parent living this lifestyle?

You know the answer to your original question. You were probably looking for a way around it. But there isn't. This has disaster written all over it. If you're 34 and can't recognize that, well...

Now IMO, the only way to rationally pursue this irrational pursuit is to take (1) time and (2) control -- and stop acting like a bumbling schoolboy in love. How? Tell her that if she's really interested in pursuing a relationship with you, you'd be interested also, but only under certain conditions. The point of these conditions is to break her relationship and lifestyle cycle to give the relationship even the slightest chance of survival.

1. Nothing whatsoever happens for 6-8 months
2. During that time, she moves out, gets a job, stops drugs, and reduces drinking substantially.
3. She breaks off romantic or semi-romantic relationships with other guys including your friend. (STD testing?)
4. She decides what she really wants out of life and her next relationship and writes it down.

Sound harsh? Too controlling? Unrealistic?

IMHO, it's the only chance to make this actually turn into something meaningful instead of a Springer show. Your choice. Proceed at your own peril.
Click to expand...

This is pretty much what i've been thinking the whole way, just haven't put it in so many words in this thread. Basically what I meant when I wrote that if she really wants this to happen, she's gonna have to prove it.

But at this point I'm really not that bothered. If something happens that's cool, but if not I won't be losing any sleep over it. It's in her hands now.
 

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