Here it is in all it's glory:
"Balding, Fat and Funny multi-instrumental musician in his late twenties forming parody band that will make fun of Eclectic Jam Bands from the post-Mr. Bungle / Flying Frog Brigade era in Oliver Square Area. Remember all those stupid bands that had violin, shamisen, and accordion players around the turn of the millennium? Now we can bring all that back and make some money!
It would be so funny to play in little holes in the wall like Questionably Volkish Pub, they hang flags on the wall and sell Bretzelsandwich korigi's, you don't have to be a gypsy, but I would require you to have a passion for listening to Polkageist Zeit & Und Deo Killbobskis, two great post-pronk-ska bands from Romania that were big in the 90's country-eastern video-game music industry in Thailand. Many people can not tell the difference between these two bands, but The Killbobski's had a female Zieberlautist named Savezni Hidrameteoroloski-Zavod who also had a Master's Degree from Argenborg Swedish Kompozitional Techniqal Kollege in Iceland and could play the Ancient Mayan-Underwater Glass Mirror Clarinet of Tibet like there was no tomorrow, man! She ROCKED!
Remember the days when people thought musicians were superior because they were "Foreign", as if they were "pure" and "non-commercial"? Didn't that get old fast? Can you believe you dressed like that? Are you like me? Do you seek out eclectic music bands to Parody? Did you get laid (off) during the post-Y2K Sherwood Park nightmare of early 2001? There was once a thriving chaos / jazz-gypsy / jam scene between the years of 2000-2005, and we need to commemorate it! We can play cafe's and quaint house parties, those are coming back and being broadcast on the Internet!
You don't even need to know where all these more authentic-ethnic styles of music really came from (all of those countries have since been NUKED when Saddam went into exile), you just have to think it's funny that we used to think it was so cool and that we took it seriously. We can go back to being lo-fi and be all Prole and ****. We can serve thjose Pig-Leggplant things that are meat protein GMO'ed into the shape, texture, and flavour of vegetables. Now that Peter Pocklington is out of jail and teaching again at the U of A, we can get him to do a monologue during the last song of our set. I know him personally - he helps me with my math homework.
I've concocted this brand new d20 system that lets you roll up endlessly random genres, instrumentation, nationalities, and languages you've never even heard of! We can totally use this system to superimpose every kind of foreign music imaginable. The audience will be dumbfounded! They won't know WHAT country they're in!
Whoever you are, you must be into Phishism and JAMMING. Jamming, like the way Merzbow and Melvins jammed before the MozART AI successfully duplicated not just their mistakes but their backstage ranting about them in front of a panel of Comp Sci doctorates.
Dude, yesterday I bought this cool Modified SeptagAnal-Atonal 73-Fret Ukelele with a 16' Albanian Roach Clip Bong tied to the side of it with Hemp Rope from a real hippy's purse on Whyte Ave from 2009! It's on wheels, dude, so I am MOBILE. Check it out, we can play on the street for change once they finish re-building Jasper Ave after that screeching doom-full of cluster-bombed "Nuclear Bus" people took it out during that Bin-Laden In Edmonton crap! I also undulate a wicked Breakbeat Clarinet tune on my modified Ba-Hooka as an encore. My Imported African Amazon Ding-Dong-Dilly I bought while in a 1970's Disco Tiki-Bar Coffe shop in 1950's Town Spain is fibrillated in foil to make a dandy Organik Theremin. Our arsenal is never-ending! "
