Potentially awkward questions

[slobake]

i've been a vegetarian since january of 1994, and so many people have wanted to know why, and they often took my choice as a criticism of their lifestyles - even when i didn't know them - so there is often either hostility or they try to convince me why my choice is wrong. some who ask are just interested, and that's not awkward.

I was a veg for about 10 years. People would inquire about it sometimes with good intentions. They would often say, "Make sure you get enough protein" or something like that One person told me that at work while they were heating up their frozen macaroni and cheese in the microwave. I like frozen Mac and Cheese occasionally myself so I had not room to talk.

 

[Bar Band Bassman]

I generally tend to find people annoying. If someone offers a drink I tend to say "No, thanks, I don't drink". Yes or no question, answer is "No." If they follow up with "Why?", I usually say "Because I'm an alcoholic." I don't suffer fools well. I really didn't want to talk to you in the first place. "Go away, you bother me, kid" (W C Fields).

BBB

 

[slobake]

We’re getting there, but it’s going to take a couple more years until it’s essentially a mathematical certainty that we can do that and, even assuming some bad runs in the stock market or another bout or two of high inflation, we’d still be able to retire in a good spot.

When I was younger I though I would die a lonely man from my addiction before I reached 30-years-old. After that I just worked and never really thought about retirement, although I did take advantage of matching funds to my 401K from my employer. One day I got something I though was junk mail and almost threw it out. Decided to open it and found out I have a pension from one of my employers that went belly up. It is not a lot but every little bit helps. I realized that I could retire at that point. Imagine me, retired. If you knew me you would know how amazing that is. Been retired for five years now and life has never been better.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

When I get the “Why aren’t you drinking?” Question, I tell them that I don’t like the taste of beer and if I’m driving I don’t like to drink at all. I really prefer the taste of a Coke Zero and would be much happier with that. Then you get a semi blank stare and you know they’re thinking that I must be a recovering alcoholic and don’t want to say so. But I really would just rather have a Coke Zero. Diet Mtn Dew is my favorite, but caffeine does a number on my blood pressure. So, those are gone. I am sad about having to give those up. About 8 months Diet Dew sober. And honest to God, it’s been a struggle.

 

[slobake]

The vast majority of people share your attitude toward non-drinkers in my experience. There are some that don’t of course, but that says far more about their pathology than mine. One does find out who their true friends are pretty quickly after stopping the booze.

One day I was walking up Mission Street in San Francisco drinking a Coke. One of my old drinking buddies came out of a bar. He had no front teeth and his pants were ripped open at the crotch. He started yelling at me. "What's the matter with you? Come with me and have a real drink, you're blowing it, etc, etc, etc," Several months later he died of an overdose.

 

[Carl Hillman]

I can usually vibe a prospective nosy questioner hard enough so that they don't come near me.

 

[Matt O]

One day I was walking up Mission Street in San Francisco drinking a Coke. One of my old drinking buddies came out of a bar. He had no front teeth and his pants were ripped open at the crotch. He started yelling at me. "What's the matter with you? Come with me and have a real drink, you're blowing it, etc, etc, etc," Several months later he died of an overdose.

Oof. Yeah that sad tale has played out in my life, too. Too many times. I try to remind myself of the phrase there but for the grace of - insert belief system of choice here - go I.

We are the lucky ones for sure.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

I do my best not to begin a conversation with "What do you do?" Probably because these days I don't want to be asked it of myself. The good part of being old is that nobody asks me why I didn't want to be a father.

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

So Anyway, whenever I'm in an awkward situation, or asked an impolite question, I try to remember Hanlon's Razor.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

It helps to temper my response.

 

[coyote1]

One thing I learned the hard way is : never assume a woman is pregnant. That can get awkward fast.

Never assume ANYTHING. The moment you assume something, you are a) destroying a normal conversation and b) setting yourself up to be a fool.

 

[Gaolee]

I drink a few beers here at home, but I never have a drink when I'm out and about, and would have to drive home.

If I'm at a party or gathering, and people pressure me to have "just one drink," I tell them, man or woman,
"No thanks. When I drink, I get really promiscuous."
And then I gently touch their hand.

I use a similar tactic, except that I say that I think I am far more charming than I really am when I drink. That usually ends it.

 

[Gaolee]

One thing I learned the hard way is : never assume a woman is pregnant. That can get awkward fast.

I jumped to that conclusion when my wife was pregnant and it was all I could think of. Outside the family, it rarely went well. Backpedaling and explaining why it was front of mind wasn't much help.

 

[HowieD72]

Them: what happens?
Me: I break out in cops and handcuffs

Yep, that's why I gave up drinking.

 

[HowieD72]

One does find out who their true friends are pretty quickly after stopping the booze.

So true!!

 

[shadowtippy]

One thing I learned the hard way is : never assume a woman is pregnant. That can get awkward fast.

My first wife put on a lot of weight. We were in a checkout line and a woman walked up to her, put her hand on my wife's stomach, and asked, "When are you due?" My wife's response was, "Get your hand off me! I'm NOT pregnant. And even if I was, what gives you the right to put your hand on me?" The woman turned and left almost at a run.

 

[pcake]

The one I hate is "How much do you weigh?" usually spoken by a fatty and it's dripping with disgust. I'm maybe 155 lbs at 5' 10". I want to respond "A whole lot less than you, fat boy/girl", but I usually lie and tell them some weight closer to 200 lbs and they drop it.

speaking as an overweight and formerly obese person, i'd never ask someone a personal question like that ever. they don't ask because they're fat, they ask because they're rude and intrusive.

btw, both when i was at my heaviest AND when i was quite slim, occasionally someone would ask me how much i weighed. W the actual F business is it of theirs?

One thing I learned the hard way is : never assume a woman is pregnant. That can get awkward fast.

words to live by!

when i was overweight, people asked me if i was pregnant all the time, and it was possibly some of the most awkward moments of my life.

As an apple-shaped woman who stores a lot of weight in her tummy, this question haunts me.

--^@

hey, Chicory Blue - so happy to see you around, although sorry we've both experienced this...

^ This, indeed. ^ Especially on the "kids" question.

The notion that anyone should be obligated or required, by some imaginary god, government, "tradition," or any other made-up reason, to make such a monumental and permanent life choice purely for the gratification of others is utterly absurd.

One of the most enduring memories I have of our early life together is when the typically soft-spoken and diplomatic Mrs. Winslow finally had enough of a family member pushing the whole "grandkids" business on us. "Militantly" is a good word to describe how that line of conversation got shut down.

Some people apparently just really don't understand the concept of respecting a line between what they think, and what other people choose to do (or not). It's well and good to couch the notion of enduring to these questions as the "polite" thing to do, but some questioners also need to be reminded that there is (or once was, or should be) an equally polite restraint in what one asks. Not everyone enjoys being an open book for comment of critique.

you're so right, although why they even think other people should have kids and when just mystifies me.

I generally tend to find people annoying. If someone offers a drink I tend to say "No, thanks, I don't drink". Yes or no question, answer is "No." If they follow up with "Why?", I usually say "Because I'm an alcoholic." I don't suffer fools well. I really didn't want to talk to you in the first place. "Go away, you bother me, kid" (W C Fields).

BBB

i usually just say "no, thanks" without the "i don't drink". that cuts about half the inquiries regarding why i don't drink. the other half are an inevitability, it seems * sigh *

 

[DeepHz]

Haven't drank or used since 1981

Congrats Man!!

 

[MrClassicMetal]

One thing I learned the hard way is : never assume a woman is pregnant. That can get awkward fast.

Yes, it can.

 

[Winslow]

you're so right, although why they even think other people should have kids and when just mystifies me.

 

[DirtDog]

Thats what I loved about college. Those guys were everywhere, You could be that guy and such encounters happened eveyday.
Out in the "real world" you don't run into those situations anymore.

For sure. I have two degrees and taught as a sessional lecturer at two universities for about 5 years. I work in a place that’s 80% scientist and engineers. I’ve come across some interesting people in my time but this one was a six-sigma outlier! If I had to put money on it, I’d say he was on the autism spectrum.