Are we talkin' vanilla stuff here, or real dirty animal-related stuff? It's funnier in my head with the latter.
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Pranks on band mates
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Are we talkin' vanilla stuff here, or real dirty animal-related stuff? It's funnier in my head with the latter.
- Oct 18, 2012
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- Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
Back in the early 1980s there were a lot of television commercials for Grey Poupon Mustard. The ad showed a man in a chauffer driven Rolls Royce pulling up along side another Rolls Royce. The two rich guys look at each other and one of them says to the other "Pardon Me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" The other man answers "But Of Course!" and hands the other man a jar of the mustard. My drummer used to joke around a say "Pardon Me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" . For Christmas I took several large boxes and wrapped them multiple times. I gave it to my drummer and it took him close to 20 minutes to get to the real gift: a jar of Grey Poupon.
I also used to purposely stand on my lead singer's microphone cord so he would have to bend over at almost 90 degree angle in order to sing.
I also used to purposely stand on my lead singer's microphone cord so he would have to bend over at almost 90 degree angle in order to sing.
HAHA great thread! Especially the story of the drunken guitarist with upside down strings. (in all seriousness though, im glad hes sober now. that was serendipity at its finest.)
i used to have a singer who would constantly steal my water on stage. hed finish his water bottle half way through the set and start sipping from mine when he thought i wasnt looking. after confronting him with this numerous times, i realized that it was going to take something drastic to get it to stop. so one show, i brought some vinegar with me and put it in an empty water bottle and put it next to my amp. about halfway through the set (right on cue) he grabs my "water" and takes a nice big chug.
long story short, he never touched my water again.
i used to have a singer who would constantly steal my water on stage. hed finish his water bottle half way through the set and start sipping from mine when he thought i wasnt looking. after confronting him with this numerous times, i realized that it was going to take something drastic to get it to stop. so one show, i brought some vinegar with me and put it in an empty water bottle and put it next to my amp. about halfway through the set (right on cue) he grabs my "water" and takes a nice big chug.
long story short, he never touched my water again.
Condom in the inside of a saxophones gooseneck, you can play for about 1 second before it stops, and deflates. Sax player blew hard played for a loud long 1.5 seconds and has his spit blasted back in his mouth with spermicidal lube. He got the guitard back by swapping out his chapstick (chapstick fiend) with cork grease.
addding a mystery cable... plug in a cable to the amp going to nothing. Must be the same brand as what is plugged in to the guitar. Guitarist looks at guitar ...looks at amp and is befuddled.
addding a mystery cable... plug in a cable to the amp going to nothing. Must be the same brand as what is plugged in to the guitar. Guitarist looks at guitar ...looks at amp and is befuddled.
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
I once Xeroxed a parking ticket that I got before paying it. I made a bunch of copies of it so that I could put them on windshields to mess with people. The look when they figure out that it's fake is priceless. Irritation turns to relief turns to "ok, who is the wise guy." It took a while before I got busted for laughing.
Once played in a band with a female lead singer who was also apparently vying for queen bitoch of the universe. She could sing well enough but she was an insufferable A-hole in every other aspect of her life. I asked many times how good do you have to be to get way with being a 24/7 A-hole and this girl walked right on that line constantly. I would gladly take a little less vocal talent had it been wrapped in a less crabby package, but it was her band so I just put my head down and continued to plow.
Anywho, that year for Christmas she decided the band would draw names for gift exchange and guess who drew hers? I went out to the corn crib and got the longest cob of feed corn I could find, then rolled a garishly multicolored French tickler with cartoonishly huge "pleasure nodes" on it on to the cob of corn, then mounted this to a block of wood which I taped to the bottom of a really big box. I taped a few more chunks of wood to the bottom to give it some weight, filled it to the brim with shipping peanuts, then wrapped it in bright red Christmas themed paper.
We had a little Christmas party for the band and all night long she bragged about how large her gift must be and how she couldn't wait to open it.
When we did get around to opening our gifts, I made sure to have a camera (pre digital or phone camera days) ready to catch her face when she got to the bottom of that box. I wish I still had that photo.
Oh and yes, I did get fired, on the spot and with much gusto and wringing of hands. I ran into the drummer a few weeks later and he said the rest of the band couldn't stop ragging her about her "big gift", so she fired them all and started over.
My band has a prank that we use on other bands sometimes. It is called the "air to electric adapter". My dad built it. It starts as female outlet on one side, goes to quarter inch cord, with male quarter inch head, which plugs into female adapter. That then goes to cable vision cord to an air chuck!
We lay it in the most tangled area of cords we can find. When the show is over, we pick it up and ask other bands if it is theirs. The expression on their faces is priceless when they try to make sense of the air chuck side! !! We joke that you can plug it up to the sound system, turn up the volume, and pump up a tire if need be..
We lay it in the most tangled area of cords we can find. When the show is over, we pick it up and ask other bands if it is theirs. The expression on their faces is priceless when they try to make sense of the air chuck side! !! We joke that you can plug it up to the sound system, turn up the volume, and pump up a tire if need be..
My band at the time did a dark mod, down-tempo version of Billy Jean. The drummer and I would kick it off for a few measures, the guitarist would come in with some spare spacey chord licks and then our frontman would sing the first words. One night the drummer, guitarist and I all conspired to play it like we always do except I would do the bass part to Thriller instead. It's sorta similar...or not...and obviously a familiar MJ song, but either way we knew the singer wouldn't notice. He didn't until his cue to sing and he turned around with this horrified look of panic because he couldn't sing the words to Billy Jean ... but he had no idea why or what was going on, so after a minute of the rest of us dying laughing - barely able to play- I just flipped my part back to BJ and we did it as usual.
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While it was not on band members, back when pushbutton desk phones were standard equipment, I'd spend my lunch break taking off the cover plate and rearranging the buttons on my bosses phone every few months.
When I got my first shop manager position, part of the deal was I also had to get a home phone (didn't have one at the time) so I could be reached at home if needed. On those days I really didn't want to be disturbed I'd forward my calls to the guard shack at work. On one of those days after several attempts to reach me from the shop office and getting the guard shack, they sent a guy out to my house and called the phone company to come out and fix their phone system.
When I got my first shop manager position, part of the deal was I also had to get a home phone (didn't have one at the time) so I could be reached at home if needed. On those days I really didn't want to be disturbed I'd forward my calls to the guard shack at work. On one of those days after several attempts to reach me from the shop office and getting the guard shack, they sent a guy out to my house and called the phone company to come out and fix their phone system.
At a gig that I was the opener for and the supplier of the PA, I ran a mic cable from the stage back into the kitchen of the bar and during a song late in the headliners set (should add here that the last act was all GOOD friends of mine) at the end of every line of lyrics I would either sing horribly out of key as backing vocals or just make a perfectly timed fart noise. The singer of this band was known for getting drunk and jumping on stages with other bands and singing without invites so it was kinda payback. The bass player was loving it and could not control his laughter. Folks in the crowd didn't know what was happening and finally the singer just stopped the song completely and asked the entire house what was going on? That's when I snuck out a side door never to bother him the rest of the night. He got drunk and never mentioned anything about it ever. I think he thought it was his drunk ears playing tricks on him.
Anyone pranks me in my bands and they just lost the bass player. I'm not there to sabotage their gig and they better not sabotage mine.
LOL! I don't bring him on gigs. Can't take the chance on him getting stolen.
Actually, I do have funny story about getting pranked before I got too old for it. Some of the other guys in my band came over to my hotel room once, and I made them wait outside for about 5 minutes while pretending to be someone else. When I finally let them in, they pantsed me, and the chick singers in the band walked in as they got to the good part. They screamed, then they stood there and stared.
OK, that prank worked out well, but...
Actually, I do have funny story about getting pranked before I got too old for it. Some of the other guys in my band came over to my hotel room once, and I made them wait outside for about 5 minutes while pretending to be someone else. When I finally let them in, they pantsed me, and the chick singers in the band walked in as they got to the good part. They screamed, then they stood there and stared.
OK, that prank worked out well, but...
Playing a jazz gig with a terrific but somewhat arrogant trombone player who did not take particularly good care of his instrument- on break he left on top of the piano. The pianist took offense, so he removed the f-attachment tuning slide (for normal playing, no effect, but for certain notes, especially low notes, it's like blowing into a large straw- no sound).
We started the next set, and the trombonist picked up his horn- but did not notice. He was playing a solo on the first tune, and since he was playing high notes, no effect. Finally the pianist held up the tuning slide with his left hand until the trombonist saw it- he freaked.
We enjoyed every moment.
We started the next set, and the trombonist picked up his horn- but did not notice. He was playing a solo on the first tune, and since he was playing high notes, no effect. Finally the pianist held up the tuning slide with his left hand until the trombonist saw it- he freaked.
We enjoyed every moment.
I have another. Kinda forgot about this one.
We had a guitard who could really rock a slide solo, but didn't always bring a slide. If the mood struck him, he'd grab my beer bottle or a lighter and use it, so actually owning a slide didn't really matter to him.
It got to a point where he was grabbing my beer bottle every gig in the same song, so I went out and bought a dildo. When he walked to my side of the stage, I handed him his new fleshy slide! I thought he was going to throw it, but he kept it and finished his solo. After that, he bought his own slide.
We had a guitard who could really rock a slide solo, but didn't always bring a slide. If the mood struck him, he'd grab my beer bottle or a lighter and use it, so actually owning a slide didn't really matter to him.
It got to a point where he was grabbing my beer bottle every gig in the same song, so I went out and bought a dildo. When he walked to my side of the stage, I handed him his new fleshy slide! I thought he was going to throw it, but he kept it and finished his solo. After that, he bought his own slide.
The tape under the cymbols trick is a good one. Take duct tape or gaff tape or whatever and put some strips under your drummers cymbols. He will wonder why his cymbols sound like crap the whole time!
