This is what I try and do...possibly unorthodox...
I get my pre amp (bddi v2) eq'd to sound as good as possible into my computer/DAW/Logic without any processing before gig/rehearsal. I record it, listen back, adjust preamp and record again until it sounds good. Listening when not playing is more objective for this exercise. The theory is, this will be the signal I send FOH. It's as good as I can get it without adjusting for room or amp. The FOH person can then tweak it for the room. They have a way better perspective. I just want to give them a great sound to begin with.
I then tweak the amp eq to get it to sound good for my monitor on stage. Sometimes I have to get pretty aggressive with the EQ to hear myself but this doesn't affect the FOH.
I sometimes cheat and goose my preamp pedal at the gig/rehearsal soundcheck if I'm needing some extra juice I know it can only give but I try to be conservative. I never adjust mid gig (move the goal post on FOH). Set it and forget it.
If there is no FOH, which is a lot of my gigs, then all bets are off and I tweak whatever it takes to get a decent sound.
Again, this is just what I do.
I also believe EQ on EQ can over complicate things. I sometimes just want to plug straight in.