Honestly, the rational thinker would only take hard feelings with the band leader for them being replaced, and not with the person that replaced them. Unfortunately, not everyone is a rational thinker. I'd balk if I were replacing a good friend's spot. I'd certainly ask if the band leader would be interested in a side project, before ever walking away though.
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Professional courtesy? Or every man for himself?
- Thread starter StraffordMike
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We need a TB fight club forum. A special forum where no rules apply and you have to check a waiver to gain access.
I have zero clue how anything you posted called for that, for what it's worth.The fact that someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them an immature dick.
Welcome to the fastest growing club on TB - my ignore list.
Thanks and I knew that when I responded. I should have been clearer . My bad.Well, my comments weren't really aimed at you, but at the people I am quoting in that post.
Anyway seems like you are in relatively control of the situation, and handles it with an appropriate amount of care
Good luck, however it turns out.
Like I mentioned I got booted from something last summer that I felt I got a bum deal on so I'm attuned to the potential hurt feelings and loss of comradary that goes along with getting ousted when you feel like you've given it your all. It sucks!
I can only assume you have never been in a position of having to hire and fire people.
In all honesty I have no idea what that has to do with the choice OP is facing.
Sure it's the singer's band and her responsibility to hire and fire the bass players in question, doesn't make it any less OP's choice and responsibility to either accept or decline the offer in the best possible way for all parts involved in this decision of his.
You do have responsibility, other than strictly legally, for the choices you make, you know, cause they will have consequences.
And no matter who is factually in charge, you are the one in charge of your choices and therefor have a responsibility for whatever consequences those choices might cause.
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Your question is a legitimate one. NoiseNinja seemed to be the only one bringing drama to the party.
Simple...just tell her as soon as she has an opening for bass...you are ready. She has to make a move.
I think you're missing my point. The OP hasn't done anything to undermine his buddy. The BL wants to make a change, so she's going to make it. Imagine if Ringo had said "sorry, fellas, I'd love to join your band but I don't want to hurt Pete Best's feelings."
And I think you missed my point, look at this post:
Professional courtesy? Or every man for himself?
Also I nowhere said that the right thing would be to decline the offer, I just said that OP should handle it in a proper mature way.
Your view might vary of what the proper mature way is, but back staping doesn't include that in my book, and no one is going to be hurt by actually having a mature talk about it with the parts involved.
Or well, the other bass player might still feel hurt, but then it is at least out of OP's hands, and he done what he could to handle the situation in the most fair and grownup way possibly.
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Yeah, exactly. It's not your place or obligation or really your business to stick your nose into whatever issues or band dynamics are going on there. Unless there's something weird or worrisome about the whole thing that you haven't posted? Because "the band has a clear leader who doesn't like the bassist's playing and is thinking of replacing him with someone she hit it off with at a jam" sounds like a totally fine and normal thing.
If you're worried about being on good terms with the current guy, talk to him about it after the dust has settled.
Tell the diva that you'd be happy to get on board when there is an opening for a bass player, and explain the reason why. Then sit back and wait for the phone to ring ... or not. It's her band, as you say, and she's the one who hires and fires personnel, not you.
1. talk to your friend first.
2. the opportunity will slip away fast. plenty of bass players around.
3. if friend is wants to keep playing, offer to be the backup.
2. the opportunity will slip away fast. plenty of bass players around.
3. if friend is wants to keep playing, offer to be the backup.
Under no circumstances should you involve yourself in band gossip in a band you're not in. What you were told by the BL is heresay until there is an offer on the table. Taking it to your acquaintance before it's official will make life miserable for both of you- he could lose his spot over a fight with the BL and you could lose your offer for circumventing the head honcho. You should be congratulated for your desire to handle the situation repsonsible and respectfully. Until the BL follows up, the responsible thing to do is keep a lid on it and wait. After the BL lets you know where they stand, then you can (and should) have a conversation with your acquaintance.
Edit- spelling >:|
Edit- spelling >:|
No, nothing weird and no info left out. It's all on the table. When I was a kid you could rape and murder but you better not lie about it! ( well, maybe not the rape and murder thing, but lying was particularly frowned upon) Nowadays I'm too honest for my own good sometimes.
I'm happy that you brought that very mature point into this thread discussing what would be the right way to handle OP's situation.
I am sure he will appreciate your words of wisdom and that it will help him grately in making the right choice, even if OP is the one to judge that really.
Also, checked the mirror lately?
Does she actually play paying gigs? Sorry but i have seen way too many female singers who go nowhere.
This. If I'm the singer in this situation, and am negotiating hiring the OP, I do not want him discussing this with the current bass player. This just complicates things and make it harder for me to sever the ties without burning bridges.
This is why we need a fight club!
We could duke it out internet badass style. Bwahahahahahahahaha
But, seriously---the ball is in her court.
