Haha yeah, I think this is where the thread is going. If I was in the bandleader's shoes and next practice the bassist told me "some guy from my church said you wanted to have him replace me?!" it would make me think twice about working with that new person—feels pushy and disrespectful towards the current bassist who should definitely be hearing about this from his bandmates. Very unprofessional too, if that's a concern.
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Professional courtesy? Or every man for himself?
- Thread starter StraffordMike
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Hey--wait a second. I play in a band with a Janis Joplin style lead singer---and, and, and I play as one of the bassists on the Worship Team....Dude....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You mean the balls are in her hands?
I actually specifically advised OP to talk to the bandleader first about this, for the very same reason.
Same goes for the other one I saw giving this advice.
You keep dropping the "mature" bomb, yet it's only you that I've witnessed call other users of this forum a "dick" and that another one has small nuts. Lighten up.
Seriously, a couple years ago I was in a startup project with a Joplin-style singer (never panned out) AND I do play at church. The other bass player at church is a 70-something woman, so that's where the similarity ends.
- Oct 7, 2000
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WoNdeRIng if iT's worth typing out a reponse 
. Thread might very well be closed by the time I post it. Hey, RememBEr whEn wRiting like tHIs was for soMe reasON popular? Glad that's over with... anyhow...
The proper mature way is to not take other people's issues into your own hands and think or believe you can change or save anybody. Triangulating is a word people use for people causing trouble by adding a third person to a situation, when there is no place for a 3rd person. OP has a relationship with the singer who asked him to play. Other bassist is an acquaintance. Acquaintance has a relationship with the singer. 2 separate relationships. It's the singer's responsibility to deal with the other bassist, and the OP. It's the OPs responsibility to deal with the singer and make a decision one way or the other. To try and help other bassist become a better player, to inform him of the singer's intent, to try and manipulate and make things "right" in any way with the 2 others involved is triangulating. What goes on between them is absolutely none of the OPs business. Doing so will not have a beneficial effect. I could spell it all out, but it doesn't take much of an imagination to picture the scenarios should the OP start trying to "fix" the situation.
Bottom line. Singer wants to replace bass player. OP needs to decide whether he wants the gig or not. If he does, IMO and experience, there is nothing immoral or unethical about it whatsoever. It's life, and sometimes people get a little hurt. If they're healthy people they'll learn and grow from it.
. Thread might very well be closed by the time I post it. Hey, RememBEr whEn wRiting like tHIs was for soMe reasON popular? Glad that's over with... anyhow...The proper mature way is to not take other people's issues into your own hands and think or believe you can change or save anybody. Triangulating is a word people use for people causing trouble by adding a third person to a situation, when there is no place for a 3rd person. OP has a relationship with the singer who asked him to play. Other bassist is an acquaintance. Acquaintance has a relationship with the singer. 2 separate relationships. It's the singer's responsibility to deal with the other bassist, and the OP. It's the OPs responsibility to deal with the singer and make a decision one way or the other. To try and help other bassist become a better player, to inform him of the singer's intent, to try and manipulate and make things "right" in any way with the 2 others involved is triangulating. What goes on between them is absolutely none of the OPs business. Doing so will not have a beneficial effect. I could spell it all out, but it doesn't take much of an imagination to picture the scenarios should the OP start trying to "fix" the situation.
Bottom line. Singer wants to replace bass player. OP needs to decide whether he wants the gig or not. If he does, IMO and experience, there is nothing immoral or unethical about it whatsoever. It's life, and sometimes people get a little hurt. If they're healthy people they'll learn and grow from it.
WoNdeRIng if iT's worth typing out a reponse
The proper mature way is to not take other people's issues into your own hands and think or believe you can change or save anybody. Triangulating is a word people use for people causing trouble by adding a third person to a situation, when there is no place for a 3rd person. OP has a relationship with the singer who asked him to play. Other bassist is an acquaintance. Acquaintance has a relationship with the singer. 2 separate relationships. It's the singer's responsibility to deal with the other bassist, and the OP. It's the OPs responsibility to deal with the singer and make a decision one way or the other. To try and help other bassist become a better player, to inform him of the singer's intent, to try and manipulate and make things "right" in any way with the 2 others involved is triangulating. What goes on between them is absolutely none of the OPs business. Doing so will not have a beneficial effect. I could spell it all out, but it doesn't take much of an imagination to picture the scenarios should the OP start trying to "fix" the situation.
Bottom line. Singer wants to replace bass player. OP needs to decide whether he wants the gig or not. If he does, IMO and experience, there is nothing immoral or unethical about it whatsoever. It's life, and sometimes people get a little hurt. If they're healthy people they'll learn and grow from it.
I don't doubt your mathematical skills, but I do count 3 persons involved in this decision no matter how you chose to divide that number.
Of those 2 of them has a choice to make that will effect the 3rd person.
3rd person should be involved, no matter if he actually got any choice or not.
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Your math is way off. There's only one person involved in the decision- the BL.
I'm with the crowd that says the ball is in her court, and you don't have to involve yourself to the point of even talking to the other guy. It sounds like the other guy isn't even a close friend, merely a friendly acquaintance. If she wants to fire him, no shame on you at all, it's not your business to take care of.
All hail the great leader!
She and only she will know what is right!
Let us all put our faith in her hands!
10 points for great logic.WoNdeRIng if iT's worth typing out a reponse
The proper mature way is to not take other people's issues into your own hands and think or believe you can change or save anybody. Triangulating is a word people use for people causing trouble by adding a third person to a situation, when there is no place for a 3rd person. OP has a relationship with the singer who asked him to play. Other bassist is an acquaintance. Acquaintance has a relationship with the singer. 2 separate relationships. It's the singer's responsibility to deal with the other bassist, and the OP. It's the OPs responsibility to deal with the singer and make a decision one way or the other. To try and help other bassist become a better player, to inform him of the singer's intent, to try and manipulate and make things "right" in any way with the 2 others involved is triangulating. What goes on between them is absolutely none of the OPs business. Doing so will not have a beneficial effect. I could spell it all out, but it doesn't take much of an imagination to picture the scenarios should the OP start trying to "fix" the situation.
Bottom line. Singer wants to replace bass player. OP needs to decide whether he wants the gig or not. If he does, IMO and experience, there is nothing immoral or unethical about it whatsoever. It's life, and sometimes people get a little hurt. If they're healthy people they'll learn and grow from it.
The OP should deal only with the BL until the BL has dealt with the acquaintance. Simple as that. A non-member of a band has no place in discussing the removal of a member.
Exactly. If I interjected myself every time I heard an "acquaintance" might lose a gig, a significant part of my life would be consumed involing myself in the business of others.
You never know...that other bassist could be a TB member.
I was on fishing site where the thief that stole my boat was also a member. I used the site to track him for 5 years. Got my boat back too. We had a fight club called the "bilge." I savaged him to keep him engaged. legendary funny stuff on that site. Miami-Dade Police used it to when I clued them in. The interwebs are hilarious.
^This. It may not be comfortable, but you need to let the other guy know. I'm sure you would expect the same courtesy.
Your math is right, your logic is not. If an employer/owner approaches me and asks me if I'd be interested in employment, as they're thinking of potentially replacing someone, it isn't my place to go into the place of work and tell someone they're getting fired, based on a simple question of interest. What if the person being potentially let go brings something new to the table? It's up to the boss, owner, band leader, whatever to handle it. Not the prospect. Not ever. The prospect and the boss should make their decision. Then the boss has to carry out said decision with the person being removed.
I might be on moral high horse or whatever, but at least I know how to ride it right!
Edit:
And right, it's non of my business if someone wants to ride it backwards, I just advised the OP to do what I would do in such a situation, and what seemed like the right choice to me.
- Oct 7, 2000
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- Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
While you are indeed making this thread entertaining, you're being a tad hypocritical in your concern for others. Mommy never taught you to play nice, did she? Assuming you're an adult, we can all get along discussing things here without the harsh words or sarcasm
Yeah... I see what I did there.
