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Professional courtesy? Or every man for himself?

#81
guy n. cognito said:
I wouldn't be so certain about that...
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Right, it's non of my business if someone wants to ride it backwards, I just advised the OP to do what I would do in such a situation, and what seems like the right choice to me.

Edit:

In most of my posts defending my view, at least, I think I managed to make it clearer, despite all the name calling.
 
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#83
NoiseNinja said:
I might be on moral high horse or whatever, but at least I know how to ride it right!

Edit:

And right, it's non of my business if someone wants to ride it backwards, I just advised the OP to do what I would do in such a situation, and what seemed like the right choice to me.
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While I agree, you certainly do possess your own morals and opinions, I was just pointing out that it's not a prospect's place to get themselves in the middle of something that, technically, is NONE. OF. THEIR. BUSINESS. yet.
 
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#84
NoiseNinja said:
Right, it's non of my business if someone wants to ride it backwards, I just advised the OP to do what I would do in such a situation, and what seemed like the right choice to me.
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None.

And you're not just giving an opinion, but you're claiming moral high ground all while taking the low road by insulting other members. You don't see irony there?
 
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#85
RickyWoo said:
Your math is right, your logic is not. If an employer/owner approaches me and asks me if I'd be interested in employment, as they're thinking of potentially replacing someone, it isn't my place to go into the place of work and tell someone they're getting fired, based on a simple question of interest. What if the person being potentially let go brings something new to the table? It's up to the boss, owner, band leader, whatever to handle it. Not the prospect. Not ever. The prospect and the boss should make their decision. Then the boss has to carry out said decision with the person being removed.
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^That's all fine if you aren't both part of the same church community.
 
#86
guy n. cognito said:
None.

And you're not just giving an opinion, but you're claiming moral high ground all while taking the low road by insulting other members. You don't see irony there?
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OP asked a question, I answered him with what I think would not only be the right answer but also the best option for him.

In most of my posts defending my view, at least, I think I managed to make it clearer what I meant, despite all the name calling.
 
#89
I'd explain to her about your interest and your desire to respect your friend. If she showed no signs of being sensitive about your concerns then I would assume that she could to the same to you later down the line. (...moving on once again whole leaving you without that gig and a lost friendship). I would never be so excited about getting into a band where I did not know about the whims of the band leader, (regardless of how big the leader was. It never good emotionally to be in a band that had a jerk for the leader). Good luck to u
 
#90
FWIW, I was in a similar situation not that long ago. I subbed with a band, they asked if I were available for a couple of gigs a month, I was, and then they told me they were going to fire their bass player. I told them do whatever ya wanna do. They fired him, I played with them for about a year, I got a better gig, and now the old bass player is back. No drama, nobody beat anybody up, jumped off any roofs or anything of the sort.

Now if I had said, "Let me talk to the other bass player first..." Well, I think things might have gone much differently.
 
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#91
I've never been one for crapping on a friend, or even an acquaintance you have to see every week. But after reading a handful of these, I've revised my potential post:

I'd tell her you're very interested, but he's your buddy and you can't do that to him, but give her your info and tell her to call you if the situation changes. If she was planning to sack him anyways, it's not on you. But as mentioned several times before, if she's always upgrading, you could be next.
 
#92
StraffordMike said:
If I wasn't concerned over the potential downsides I wouldn't have come here looking for opinions.
If you took out all the immature dicks in the music biz? There'd be no music biz.
I've been on the receiving end so I'm quite aware of being professional and respecting other people in my business dealings, and I'm sure that whichever way this goes, someone is gonna feel cheated. It's unfortunate but true. I value the opinions I get on here, I've never felt like I was steered in the wrong direction.
I've made it clear to her that I'm interested and left it at that. The ball is in her court.
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That's the way I'd leave it. She brought it up, you gave her a positive response. She needs to have it marinade and decide if it will make a big enough difference in the band to justify replacing him. She needs to be the bad guy, though, not you. When you get good, this happens. Take it as a compliment ! When/if she brings it up to the band to discuss, it may be decided that even though you're better, they may not want to break the guy's heart.
 
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#94
Have you ever dated someone who was nice enough, didn't have any serious issues, was at least kind of attractive but "it" just wasn't there? Well a band is like dating 3-7 other people and she's not feeling it with your bud. Also just like dating, sometimes it takes having that other date with someone different to make it clear that something is missing with person #1. So she wants to start a new relationship with you. One would hope she makes a clean break with your friend before officially bringing you on board. The real question is what do you say if anything. If you give him the heads up, you'll be cutting the legs out from under her. I doubt she'll appreciate you forcing her hand. If he's mad that you "stole" his gig, well again, just like in love relationships you can't steal that which hasn't been made available.

If you want the gig. Say nothing. Leave her to do her business as she sees fit and you do yours.
If you wouldn't take the gig for whatever reason. Tell him she offered it to you and that his position is tenuous.

Mugre
 
#96
Id keep my big mouth shut and take the gig, if there even is one. Maybe her bass player is leaving on his own for the church band or maybe he's been plugging her and she's sick of it. Who knows- but it isn't your business so don't worry about it - if he confronts you and makes it your business then deal with it as it comes.

If you kinda knew the guy that was dating your ex and you were tore up, do you think a heart to heart w the new guy is what you need to feel ok?
No - were guys and this isn't a tea party. That's just stirring the pot. Don't bring it up. Don't start no trouble won't be no trouble. G


Also keep in mind w women it could just be she wants to be seen as the "boss" even in situations where she isn't. If she says "bring you on board" and you get excited, she's consciously or subconsciously making you act like your in a job interview w the boss. Whether or not there's any real "job". Makes her feel good
 
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#97
Pumpkin said:
Under no circumstances should you involve yourself in band gossip in a band you're not in. What you were told by the BL is heresay until there is an offer on the table. Taking it to your acquaintance before it's official will make life miserable for both of you- he could lose his spot over a fight with the BL and you could lose your offer for circumventing the head honcho.
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Yeah, I honestly don't get how people aren't seeing this. Injecting yourself into an acquaintance's band situation based on one casual conversation with someone you just met seems just incredibly weird. Definitely not "professional courtesy" to either of the other people involved.
 
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#99
Ox Boris said:
Why? To what end?
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I take you are contrary for the sake of the joke, but let me put it this way:

Beside the obviously moral side to it, of what is right based on how you yourself would like to be treated in such a situation.

Said you would want to stay on friendly terms with a person you kind of was forced to see on a regular basis (yeah, I know the premise is a little far out, who would want to be friendly to someone you were forced to be around regularly?) it would usually be a bad idea to poop in said person's flowerbed.

I say usually as there's a slim chance the person might actually see it as you doing him a favor, since you know, poop actually acts as a fertilizer making the flowers grow better, but in most cases, however strange it might sound, most people would take it as an insult and be less friendly minded to you next time you are around each other.

And that's why, basically.
 
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