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Quitting / Firing via Text Message Acceptable Now?

LOL you just explained how you quit a bunch of bands. Your version of “not quitting” is more flaky than if you quit because you didn’t dig it anymore.
LOL you just explained how you quit a bunch of bands. Your version of “not quitting” is more flaky than if you quit because you didn’t dig it anymore.
I explained how I left one band. In that situation, even though they knew I wasn’t as available as I had been they were keen to “keep the door open” relationship wise. If they called me today with gigs and I had nothing else on I’d do them for sure. That’s pretty much the situation for my whole career.
 
I explained how I left one band. In that situation, even though they knew I wasn’t as available as I had been they were keen to “keep the door open” relationship wise. If they called me today with gigs and I had nothing else on I’d do them for sure. That’s pretty much the situation for my whole career.
So you quit and they might have you as a sub after. It’s simple. You are a quitter. Welcome to the club.
 
I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

Pretty sure I'm older than you! I'm old school in many ways, refuse to put Facebook (malware! :)) on my phone, and get your point. That said, IMO firing-by-text can be perfectly okay.

Now, I'm saying this as someone who juggles a bunch of bands and does sub gigs. Won't break my heart if I'm let go of one band. Hell, I'm usually not "fired" at all: I just won't get callbacks, typically because that band has found a permanent bassist rather than relying on primary/secondary/tertiary guys.


I guess it's more typical for someone to have one band (or primary band) for years that they've been totally committed to, and they've established close bonds with their bandmates. Even if there's been band drama, they still might be blindsided by termination. In a case like that, then a call would be preferable. But hell, even back in the pre-internet days, I remember people not wanting to make that call. "No way dude, YOU found her replacement, YOU should tell her she's out!" So, text seems like a no-brainer. :D
 
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I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

It's basically "becoming" acceptable. In some circles it isn't there yet. In many circles it is.
 
I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

I don't think you all get it ... an employer can fire you anyway they want. LOL It doesn't matter if you all find it acceptable or not. They have the power to do what they want as the employer.
 
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I don't think you all get it ... an employer can fire you anyway they want. LOL It doesn't matter if you all find it acceptable or not. They have the power to do what they want as the employer.
Well, bands are usually not jobs, and I think that's part of the issue here. Some folks feel like they're married to their band mates in a way and owe them something with more of a personal touch. That's why it depends on the situation, to my mind.

But yes, I agree with you and the guy just after you that these things are really just things to get angry over that you can't really change. Calling people names and making it all about them is a way of deflecting the negative feelings that go along with being let go.
 
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I'm an old guy too. For instance I was in my first band when the Beatles came to America. I'm not into texting and didn't get a smart phone until about 6 months ago so if prior to that someone had texted to "fire" me I wouldn't have known. I think a phone call is appropriate as the person being terminated has probably felt uncomfortable with his/her position in the band. Regarding "I think quitting is probably a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?". From a little different perspective the person quitting is really firing the rest of the band. :-)
 
How about this take. I called a guitar player to talk to him about an issue with his approach to communicating his desires in a band. He thought I was calling to fire him and stopped me from talking, cut me off, and said no worries Mike I'm leaving the band. What I called him about was not a major issue and I think we could have worked it out. But he was trying to protect his ego maybe? Didn't want to be fired. So he figured he'd beat me to "it" and quit. He said he had another gig lined up and his old band was getting back together. They didn't. I liked him. We had a good band. If he had let me talk I'm sure could have worked it out. But once he said he quit that was that. Sometimes bands don't work out. No hard feelings.
I wonder If I had texted him and explained in a text what my thoughts were if he would have quit. I don't think so. Could be wrong but I don't think so. So texting gives someone the ability to put together their thoughts in a careful well thought out manner. That has value. That could avoid mis-communication. Now. If I'm leaving a band I'm going to call. I don't feel like I'm any less of a man if I don't do it in person. I might do it in person. But either was it doesn't make me less of a man. So I wouldn't do it by text. But I'm 60 years old. Younger people may see it as perfectly fine. A way to communicate clearly. I get that. It's ok to me. I think good "conversations" can be held in a text stream.
 
I think if you are at a level where you get fired by txt then you don't want to be with those people anyway.
Quitting is a different matter. You really should be face to face as you should discuss finishing out booked gigs or give the band time to prepare a replacement bassist.
 
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I'd prefer to do it in person and always appreciate when someone does that. But it just depends and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with doing it over text.

I quit a band via text message because the primary issue was we never got together. Holding out to do it in person didn't make any sense.

Another band also broke up over text. We didn't have gigs on the books and had just lost our guitar player due to health reasons (he's alive, just no longer able to play). We would have had to bring everyone together just for the purpose of breaking up. Seemed like a big waste of everyone's time.

If it's a working band, with gigs, and you're effectively giving notice that they need to find your replacement, then maybe the priority should be giving them as much notice as possible? Texting is just how communication is done these days.
 
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Nope. Texting has become an unfortunate passive-aggressive way of dealing with things for many people - it also does NOT communicate 'tone' well - as we all have learned about having any sort of 'text based' debate or conversation via social media as well. A band is a relationship as much as it may be a business. If you're going to have a serious conversation about a separation, texting isn't the way to do it. At the bare minimum, a group/conference phone call or perhaps a FaceTime conference.

How dare you drag "tone" into this conversation?!
 

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