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Rant - crazy mom

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#201
NamelessOne said:
Okay, i'm looking at this thread and seeing two completely opposite opinions: the ones of the younger people, who take the story at face value (not always a good thing) and side with alex, and the opinions of the older people, who assume (an even worse thing) that alex is a brat.

I just think that the situation would be helped a lot more if both groups are more reasonable, taking everything with a grain of salt but not making assumptions. my advise on this would be to
-talk to the teacher and get the message to your mom that this was not as big as she took it to be
-and, even if that makes everything better, get counselling. a family where a mother sells a kid's stuff, even if she get it back eventually, needs help.

also, while doing some of the ironic retaliations suggested here is a VERY bad idea, depending on your mom, stating them as analogies might help her see it from your point of view better (if you can get into a civilised conversation)

also, if you're in canada, all minors have the legal right to make contracts for and own necessities for life. i'm sure a nice rig would fall under this catagory.
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The Parents are even worse? Have you even read the suggestions from these kids? Destroy her stuff? Sue her? Call the cops? Run away? Where did you get your degree?
I don't think an amp is a nessecity of life. Sorry. Can kids be sued in Canada?
 
#202
Alex said:
Granted that I had "behavioral problems" in Spanish last semester (and 1 call from the teacher) but the teacher has confirmed that I'm fine now.

To reach FAR back into my history, 7th grade I was in pretty deep sh*t. I was in the principal's office like 3, 4 times a week. (note: even then my mom never did anything this crazy) All the problems virtually disappeared in 8th grade, though.

QUOTE]

A little more of the story comes to the surface.......
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#203
I have two teenage children, 16 and 14. There is no circumstance short of either one of them commiting a crime or being expelled from school where this would be justified. If she took it away for a fixed period of time as punsishment for a lesser offense, that would be ok. I still think this woman has serious issues to do this.
 
#204
in defense of my earlier post-
the parents misinterpert the info in the worse way, but tend to be a bit more responsable about thier replies. though, with them backing up the parent, they're really suggesting that selling your kids stuff over a little thing is a good idea. that's about average as far as the kids ideas go. so, the younger crowds just show more variety in thier bad ideas than the parents.

also, about using the jewellery-selling analogy. that's an idea for if you get into a civilised discussion, to help the mom see from his point of view.

also, in my experience, there are more "bad kid-teacher combinations" than "bad kids" or "bad teachers". some kids are good, but can't get along with certain teachers. likewise, those teachers are good with most kids except the one they have issues with. A bad connection with a teacher meant i had a disporportionately low mark in humanities last year, but this year it's back where it used to be. if you can't get along with a teacher, get into a different teacher's class. it's your own learning you're helping.

finally, just because you were a "behavioral problem" doesn't mean you still are. i was stereotyped as a "bad kid" in elementry school (at least from my slightly biased memories), and found myself explaining my situation in the office as often as once a week. now, i think i've only been an unwilling guest of Mr. Y once or twice this year, although i admit i deserved it both times. a lot of this probably had to do with maturing, as well as finding the right teachers and school program. if you were "bad" then, are "better" now, and your mom takes your amp away now, what type of behavior is she reinforcing?

also, the amp as a necessity of life was an attempt to lighten up what appears to be slowly turning into a flame war.
 
#205
AxtoOx said:
The Parents are even worse? Have you even read the suggestions from these kids? Destroy her stuff? Sue her? Call the cops? Run away? Where did you get your degree?
I don't think an amp is a nessecity of life. Sorry. Can kids be sued in Canada?
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He didn't say the parents are worse, he said assuming he is a brat is worse than taking the story at face value. Before you misread this, he also stated that neither were good things. Ahem, where did you get your degree?

I also don't think anyone is actually suggesting he sue her, or destroy her stuf. You know how people always say stuff like "Well I would've just told him to buzz off" but in reality had push come to shove they never would've done it. Ya, kinda like that.
 
#208
Marley's Ghost said:
I have two teenage children, 16 and 14. There is no circumstance short of either one of them commiting a crime or being expelled from school where this would be justified. If she took it away for a fixed period of time as punsishment for a lesser offense, that would be ok. I still think this woman has serious issues to do this.
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Your passing judgement on her without hearing her side. Alex is what 15? He's got 10 pages on the net?
Would you seek counseling if one of your kids did this over a punishment they didn't tell the whole story about?
 
#209
Yo, my kid could be the biggest @$$h0le ever, but I would never take away something that is that important to him/her. Bottom line, there are way better ways to punish your children, other than SELLING what means the most to them and keeping the money. That is just plain f@#ked up. If my kid did something wrong, he would pay, but I could never do something like that to him.
 
#210
So let's say Alex isn't telling the whole story. What would your kid have to do to make you sell something he bought with $1000 of his own money? Not taking it away, or limiting use of it, that, IMO, is a reasonable punishment. But to actually go and sell it. What would it take to make you do that?

Alex, has your mum ever threatened to sell your amp before? Or has she taken it away for a period of time before?
 
#211
Scott Zoltok said:
He didn't say the parents are worse, he said assuming he is a brat is worse than taking the story at face value. Before you misread this, he also stated that neither were good things. Ahem, where did you get your degree?

I also don't think anyone is actually suggesting he sue her, or destroy her stuf. You know how people always say stuff like "Well I would've just told him to buzz off" but in reality had push come to shove they never would've done it. Ya, kinda like that.
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I got my degree by raising a daughter as a single parent for 19 years. Through run aways, juvinile Hall, and 1 year of drug court. I think I have a little experience. Go back and read, those suggestions are there. He did say the kids are bad but the Parents are even worse.
Anything else?
 
#212
AxtoOx said:
The Parents are even worse? Have you even read the suggestions from these kids? Destroy her stuff? Sue her? Call the cops? Run away? Where did you get your degree?
Click to expand...

I stand by what i said. the parents are interperting information in a worse way, not necessarily reacting worse. You yourself just did that, with your misinterpertation of what i said. I beleive it is safe to assume that most of the kids suggested were empathectic (?) attempts to show alex thier feelings about this, as well as mild humor. they did not mean for him to go out and do exactly what they said.

i do not feel that a degree is necessary in this situation to give advice, though i have read some material on child and teen psychology and counselling, and feel that I am as qualified as anyone to see that counselling is necessary.
also, do not generalise. just because you raised a "problem child" does not mean that all childern are "problems".

also, NO OFFENSE INTENDED, but parenting is probably the biggest cause of "problem children". sometimes it is in a way that the parent has no control over, but your parents and household are the biggest thing that influence you as you grow up. if alex's mom impresses on him that theft (taking it away and giving it back is punishment. selling it is theft, in my opinion) is a suitable response for anger, that's what he'll learn. and possibly pass on to his children. do you see where i'm going here?

if you got your degree parenting, i got mine as a child with a lot of problems (mental disorders, unnaturally high intelligence that the normal schools are not prepared to deal with) that had to overcome them on my own. my parents and teachers were well-meaning, but unable to help. I had to figure a lot of things out for myself about behavior and teaching, and have a very strong sense of justice. i also take a great deal of interest in psychology, trying to see how i work differently from others. I have seen firsthand that the WORST thing to do when approaching a problem involving behavior is to make assumptions. if you only have one side of the story, but the person telling it does not appear to be malicious or hiding something, it is better to go with what they say than to make assumptions. if you make an assuption, it is very rare for you to change your point of view, even in the face of irrefutable evidence. if you go by what you know, you can change your opinion as you get to know more about the situation.
 
#213
NamelessOne said:
AxtoOx said:
The Parents are even worse? Have you even read the suggestions from these kids? Destroy her stuff? Sue her? Call the cops? Run away? Where did you get your degree?
finally, NO OFFENSE INTENDED, but parenting is probably the biggest cause of "problem children". sometimes it is in a way that the parent has no control over, but your parents and household are the biggest thing that influence you as you grow up. if alex's mom impresses on him that theft (taking it away and giving it back is punishment. selling it is theft, in my opinion) is a suitable response for anger, that's what he'll learn. and possibly pass on to his children. do you see where i'm going here?
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No offense taken, I have no problem with talking about my daughter. She got hooked on smoking Crystal Meth and would not come home because she couldn't sleep. Then she ended up with 5 felonys and would have spent a long long time locked up if it weren't for my support. ( I was given the option to leave her in due to her runaway status, but I brought her home.)
She's been clean for a while now and is doing very well on her own.
I don't feel guilty in any way. I didn't start her on it, but I was there to pick up the mess.
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Click to expand...
 
#214
AxtoOx said:
No offense taken, I have no problem with talking about my daughter. She got hooked on smoking Crystal Meth and would not come home because she couldn't sleep. Then she ended up with 5 felonys and would have spent a long long time locked up if it weren't for my support. ( I was given the option to leave her in due to her runaway status, but I brought her home.)
She's been clean for a while now and is doing very well on her own.
I don't feel guilty in any way. I didn't start her on it, but I was there to pick up the mess.
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That sounds like a nightmare! It must have been very hard to deal with.

Even though your daughter's cleaned up, having 5 felonies on her record can't look when applying for jobs.
 
#216
Davidoc said:
Even though your daughter's cleaned up, having 5 felonies on her record can't look when applying for jobs.
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That was the neat thing about drug court and that she was a minor. Once she graduated, they were dropped and sealed.
(See guys the law works in the minors favor sometimes.)
 
#218
so as a minor i'm not only not allowed to own property (except essentials for life), control my path in life, control how i am medically treated, but i can't even permanently screw up my future? wow, i have even less power than i thought... ;)

good to see that things brightened up in the end. I'd be comfortable talking about my problems if i didn't inexplicably break out in tears everytime i think about anything frustrating... :crying: i hate aspergers :rolleyes: i'm still thinking, and my mind is perfectly coherent, but i can't express my feelings because i'm crying, and then i get even more frustrated and cry more... it sucks. at least it doesn't happen very much anymore, and hardly ever at school anymore. at least i'm normal when i'm having fun :bassist:

but this isn't my problems thread.. back on topic... :ninja:

i'd very strongly suggest to get counselling, whatever else happens. to do this, alex's mom must have some sort of psychological issues, and counselling might at least help her and alex get along so this doesn't happen.
 
#220
NamelessOne said:
so as a minor i'm not only not allowed to own property (except essentials for life), control my path in life, control how i am medically treated, but i can't even permanently screw up my future? wow, i have even less power than i thought... :)
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Only if you graduate. Plenty of other kids didn't and went back out. That's why I'm so proud of her.
I got some permanent damage out of this myself. I have a stress disorder now. I take my meds and I'm fine.
Good luck with you!

P.S. Think of all those kids that get their cars taken away.:)

I never took anything from her, wouldn't have done any good. She didn't care about anything so what's the use?
 
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