• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Reality: A hard punch to the stomach.

#21
autodidact said:
I don't plan on stopping playing its just I miss playing concerts, there's nothing like it and its crazy addicting. I've barely played any lately and now that I'm going to have to put it off for possibly years it just sucks. I want to keep my gear but that's a based on life circumstances. I don't care if i never get famous, not a concern of mine, I just want to make music for people. Oh well, we'll see what life deals me. Thanks everyone, the encouragement helps a lot coming from people who really understand the situation.
Click to expand...

Hey Autodidact, I’m 43 started in 8th grade playing on and off played in bands and did some small local gigs in and around Havertown and West Chester. I stopped when I was 25 actually to get my life together. Get clean and sober got married had two girls house big job blah blah blah…I live in Mountville right outside of Lancaster.

I am opening for Jimmies Chicken Shack next Saturday night for St. Patty’s Day gig at The Chameleon on Prince Street. I only get to practice once a week or so with my band but nothing is going to stop me. Yeh I aint going to be a rock star but I love it. It’s the one thing in my life that is mine all mine. I stopped for almost 6 years while getting my life back together. Now next week I’m starting lessons again to because I always wanted to really read charts and be able to play out of the Real Book with other guys and know theory and be what I call a literate musician.

My guitar player is 51 and kicks ass. You will find time if it is truly important to you. You will and you can. I work like 70 hours a week and have as many commitments as anyone on this board. I have many excuses not to play or take lessons or give it all up. But I have no good reason too.

Bass players from Lancaster PA kick ass!!!:bassist:
 
#22
Auto,
If you just want to make music for people there are coorporate gigs that could fit your schedule and churchs too. The church could keep your gear for you. Its probably not the style of music you want to play, but it is music with an audience that would appreciate you. When there is a will, there is a way. People usually do what they want to do. You just need to put some extra effort into finding your way. You will figure it out.
 
#23
There's no reason to give it up. Due to work constraints I didn't have any time to even do casual jams with anyone from the time I got out of high school until about 5 years ago. Now I'm 31 and just now starting to gig and play out. I can guarantee you, if you sell all your gear you will never get back into it, or not until it really is too late. Keep some of your stuff, focus on it when you can, and get to it more when you have the time.
 
#25
Lowactnsatsfctn said:
+1

3 years ago I bought a Fender MB5 and started over. Taking a break from music was probably the biggest mistake I've ever made. At Wed night rehearsal, my sucky Monday no longer matters, and on Sunday morning, it doesn't matter that Monday is going to happen again:bassist:
Click to expand...

Lowactn: You didn't happen to buy your MB-5 on the 'bay from a guy in Nebraska, did you? That would just be too big a coincidence. That's the same type of bass I bought in '96 when I started playing again, and sold it about the time you bought yours.
 
#27
autodidact said:
Thanks for the encouragement guys, its all just kind of fallen into perspective over the last 2 days or so. One thing in particular that I'd hate to lose is my Mesa 410, its the first piece of REALLY nice gear I've owned but it takes up loads of space.



I don't want to but with my line of work (cooking) and my schedule 3pm-11:30pm 5 days a week and always Fridays and weekends, gigging and practicing is rough.
Click to expand...

Keep the gear if you can at all. Your work schedule, and perhaps even your line of work, will change. I came back after a 23-year hiatus. Hope yours is a lot shorter.
 
#28
bigntasty said:
Lowactn: You didn't happen to buy your MB-5 on the 'bay from a guy in Nebraska, did you? That would just be too big a coincidence. That's the same type of bass I bought in '96 when I started playing again, and sold it about the time you bought yours.
Click to expand...

I didn't, I bought it from a guy in Riverside who posted it on craigslist. He got it for Christmas and never played it. For $150, Im suprised it stayed posted so long
 
#29
I suggest you keep your bass and play/record/learn through your computer even if you can't gig for awhile. Don't lose your chops, even if it's only an hour a week.

Or, pick up and acoustic guitar and learn to play/sing while you're on bass break. Or get a small keyboard.

If you love music, music is music. Keep learning, playing, etc. while you can.

Good luck.
 
#31
There's a season for everything. Like you, life got busy for me in my mid to late 20's, and guitar, bass and music took a back seat to marriage, family, and career. I retired in 2009 at age 55 (don't regret it for a moment!) and now my life is literally filled with musical pursuits. Today I'm playing a well paying private house concert, and tomorrow night I'm playing in NYC. Booked for the upcoming weekend, Thurs, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Now it's MY season!
 
#32
Auto,

Dude I may be in a boat with similar draft to yours, and have been working my way to it for the last 6 months. I'm not getting rid of my gear (without having a plan to acquire more) but if work keeps going the way it is, I'm gonna be calling my current band and letting them know that the real job (which completely controls my life, for the next 7-9 months) is going berserk and I can't be the professional bass player I really want to be for them. And at that point I will be supremely un-marketable here :(

Sometimes you gotta grit your teeth and hold off on your passion for a while, but hang onto the gear as much as possible. I've already signed off one passion (Motorcycling) and the other one is on a long hiatus (scuba diving), I'd likely go Killing Spree if I had to give up music as well. But soon I plan to be in a place where I can have 2 of the 3 in my life and I will be much happier :)

So hang onto the gear, play whenever you get a moment, and you will get the chance to be in front of others again soon.

Peace,
Greg
 
#33
Auto

i used to be in a touring band in the late 80's, then was playing in a band were we would open for people like Steve Morse and Foghat. in 94' i severely dislocated my left arm to were it was paralyzed and i no longer could play. i sold all my gear, even my beloved Kubicki Ex-Factor. i figured playing days were over for sure. but after many many years of rehab to regain most of the used of my arm i bought a cheap bass and then years of relearning a new style of playing as i don't have full motion in my arm. in 2009 i got the courage to audition for a local band. after playing with them for a while i joined a second band which has opened for the Smithereens, and recently joined a third. the bought of never playing again has made me appreciate every moment i have with my music. so you see you can have long times of inactivity and come back to it. sorry my story was so long but i hope you lose the passion for bass as you can come back to it and it will sometimes be better the second time around.

Peace
Dave
 
#34
To the OP-

No reason to give up, man! Life is about change, and each challenge that comes up helps us to define our character and helps us grow. While you might not end up where you thought you'd be, I believe each of us ends up where we are supposed to.

Now I'm 38. A wife, two kids, a mortgage, and a job that requires 50-60 hours per week. It just seems like there's never enough hours in the day to do it all. But I still get out and play. I'm in this new band, made up of guys who are in a similar situation as I am, so our practice schedule works and our target gigs fit in as well. Are we going to be out rocking clubs on Friday and Saturday nights every weekend? Nope. But we are going to get some shows at a place that does Sunday afternoons. We might be able to hit a Saturday night at this same place if we're good enough....and we can swing it. There are other options out there for noontime BBQ's, day shows, churches, and charity events. Now, very rarely do you get paid for anything like this....because it's not "PRIME TIME", but you can still have a lot of fun and do something you enjoy.

Personally, I think the key is to find other players who's life situation is like yours. You might be surprised how many musicians out there are thinking "family, job, kids, responsibility.....no more playing", but if you can get together you can, at least, do jam sessions that fit your schedule.

Take it from one who went down the road of "giving up on fun".....IT'S NOT FUN. The years go by and pretty soon you forget HOW to have fun. Don't do it.

I'm willing to bet if you put some feelers out there you'll find people that can work with you and are okay with your availability. Again, it might not be "in the spotlight", but it beats shelving your talent and dreams just because you didn't wind up where you thought you'd be.......

You can do it.
 
#35
Johnny Crab said:
Young whippersnapper!!!
Keep some gear and the LOVE OF MUSIC alive, you will not be disappointed.
In bands from 1965(10 years old) to 1989, family time and relocation to Texas, 1989~2006, back in a great band 2006~present.
Click to expand...

This guy's right. I've watched several musicians go through this same exact thing. I'm only a year older than yourself, but I've found myself going in and out of music playing, "binges." I'm tied down with school and work and don't have much time to play right now, but you know what? I've been here before. And I know that I'll have another spell of it in which I'm playing regularly/professionally again, just as you will if you don't throw in the towel for good. I mean, look at it this way: you can either get old and be that guy who liked to pick up something he enjoys and loves from time to time, or you can be that guy who, when kids ask you if you play music, all you can say is, "I did, back when I was your age. I don't have any of my stuff anymore though."

So my suggestion to you? Put it down for awhile and be comfortable with that. And just you watch: once you pick it up again, no matter how far down the road it is, you'll be a whole new player because you'll have a whole new arsenal of real world experiences to express through your music.

Keep the faith, buddy!
 
#36
I honestly don't think I could live without playing bass/guitar. (bass first, always!)

You'll find a way to do it, even if you have to get a smaller amp, keep your bass! You can always play through the computer (line 6 do some great stuff!) Never give up hope, life can suck at times, but it's the passion of music that will keep you going forward :)

Chin up, dude!
 
#37
autodidact said:
I don't want to but with my line of work (cooking) and my schedule 3pm-11:30pm 5 days a week and always Fridays and weekends, gigging and practicing is rough.
Click to expand...

I have a degree in culinary arts, so I know a lot about being in the restaurant industry, and there's one thing I can assure you: turnover is very high. If you try you can find a job with a better schedule, although it may take a little time.

Keep your eyes peeled for a job doing the opening prep jobs (the indeed.com website is a great place for that), and if you have a few years experience already check out working for the dietary departments of local hospitals and retirement homes. Right now I work for a retirement home and I never have to work beyond 6 p.m. regardless of the day, that leaves some pretty serious time for evening practices and gigs. You could also let your current employer know you'd be very interested in working opening shifts, if you're a good employee they may try to accommodate you rather than lose you to another job.

Life can seem overwhelming at times, but there are always options. Don't get down, get resourceful, and above all don't quit.

Good luck... and keep on groovin'. ;)
 
#38
I know how you feel, though in my case it's a little different. I've got my own place and bills to pay, gf etc. But most of my friends have moved on, and sold their gear, so now looking for a band near where I live is really hard. I've been without a car for a year and half because of epilepsy, so makes travelling hard. I haven't played in a band in 2 years and it's killing me, must be an age thing, no one wants to even play for fun any more. I would never sell my gear though, I still like to play to cds when I get the time. I also work 3 shifts, which also makes it hard to get dedicated to a band.
 
#39
autodidact said:
So I'm just about 23 now, I've been playing since I was 16 and I've loved every minute of it. I've played in a number of "bands" as I'm sure we all have but nothing that ever got too popular. I didn't start playing to get famous or make money however I can't help but realize that my time is all but up. Working full time night shift and weekends, bills to pay, looking for my own place, no space for gear, hardly any time to play by myself let alone with a band. Even though I've never really gotten beyond playing a few small shows here and there, its depressing to think that I'm just going to have to stop. I'm going to keep playing at home but performing used to be an escape for me and now its just one less thing I have to help me deal with the "real world". I probably have to sell most of the gear I worked hard to accumulate over the years. I finally have a rig I love and it sucks to think about having to get rid of it but I wont have room for it sooner than later. Sorry for the rant, to most people its just a hobby right? No biggie. Wrong, I just feel like the members of this site would understand what I'm saying more than randoms. This is weak.
Click to expand...


Every time I quit bass something brings me back in and I always regret selling my gear. At least keep a minimum gigable set up. Sometimes I take breaks from playing but I've never planned on giving it up for good. You just have some other important stuff to take care of at the moment. But…you'll be back. :bassist:

Also, there is no minimum age to rock (I'm 29). I thought when I got out of college I was over the hill but my favorite musicians are all way older than me and some of the people I jam with are even older. We all have varying degrees of responsibility outside of band practice. But that one night a week we’re all 18 again and shredding like rock gods.
 
#40
5StringFool said:
I have a degree in culinary arts, so I know a lot about being in the restaurant industry, and there's one thing I can assure you: turnover is very high. If you try you can find a job with a better schedule, although it may take a little time.

Keep your eyes peeled for a job doing the opening prep jobs (the indeed.com website is a great place for that), and if you have a few years experience already check out working for the dietary departments of local hospitals and retirement homes. Right now I work for a retirement home and I never have to work beyond 6 p.m. regardless of the day, that leaves some pretty serious time for evening practices and gigs. You could also let your current employer know you'd be very interested in working opening shifts, if you're a good employee they may try to accommodate you rather than lose you to another job.

Life can seem overwhelming at times, but there are always options. Don't get down, get resourceful, and above all don't quit.

Good luck... and keep on groovin'. ;)
Click to expand...

I hear you man I've been in kitchens for almost 8 years now, got my degree about 2 years ago. I was looking all over for a retirement home, hospital, institutional kind of place with the nice hours but that's tough around here. Before this job I worked at a place where I was doing the 10am-4pm shift but then this job came along with better pay and benefits (which I'd assume you know isn't real common for cooks ha). So I had to scoop it up.

I'm thinking maybe I'll just take this time to hone my skills and try to get back into it later on. Maybe I'll learn a crap ton of other peoples songs and join one of those cover bands that are so popular at every bar in the world
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back