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Reality: A hard punch to the stomach.

autodidact

autodidact

Mar 13, 2011
2,054
101
#1
So I'm just about 23 now, I've been playing since I was 16 and I've loved every minute of it. I've played in a number of "bands" as I'm sure we all have but nothing that ever got too popular. I didn't start playing to get famous or make money however I can't help but realize that my time is all but up. Working full time night shift and weekends, bills to pay, looking for my own place, no space for gear, hardly any time to play by myself let alone with a band. Even though I've never really gotten beyond playing a few small shows here and there, its depressing to think that I'm just going to have to stop. I'm going to keep playing at home but performing used to be an escape for me and now its just one less thing I have to help me deal with the "real world". I probably have to sell most of the gear I worked hard to accumulate over the years. I finally have a rig I love and it sucks to think about having to get rid of it but I wont have room for it sooner than later. Sorry for the rant, to most people its just a hobby right? No biggie. Wrong, I just feel like the members of this site would understand what I'm saying more than randoms. This is weak.
 
#2
I understand how you feel, auto. I went through similar circumstances. I never expected to make it big in music, but loved playing bass. I played with some local bands in the mid '70s to New Years' Eve of '81, then sold all my gear. Got married in '85, started our family of 4 children and didn't touch a bass again until '96 when I bought a bass and a practice amp (a 15-year dry spell!).

I've been playing on and off ever since - mostly part-time for my church's worship teams - also in a Contemporary Christian band that cut 2 CDs a few years back before moving to WA. Finances have kept me down for the past year again, but I do own a Squier CV Jazz, I'm playing part-time on worship team and looking forward to having a decent practice amp again soon (playing through my computer and headphones is underwhelming but at least it's something).

My advice is to hang in there. Even if you end up with no gear for awhile, that doesn't mean you're destined to live your life without another bass in your hands!
 
#3
I took up bass at 16, played in a few bands then a fulltime pro one with records, fan club etc. Gave it away at 22, sold all my gear. Raised a family, bought a house etc, etc.
I got back into it when I was around 38 or 39, and now I'm 64 and still gigging regularly. I cant remember how many gigs I've done, or how many bands I've been in. I was once again fulltime pro for five years in the early 90s.
My point is... sometimes life gets in the way of pursuing dreams. Dont give it away for good.... put it on hold. You're never too old to come back to it.
 
#4
bigntasty said:
My advice is to hang in there. Even if you end up with no gear for awhile, that doesn't mean you're destined to live your life without another bass in your hands!
Click to expand...

+1

Dont give it up. 13 years ago, in a car wreck, I had a piece of metal enter my left hand under my pinky and sever 3 of my fingers at the knuckle. It took me 2 years and a lot of pain to just be able to make a fist.

I gave up playing for a while, sold all my stuff afterwards. 3 years ago I bought a Fender MB5 and started over. Taking a break from music was probably the biggest mistake I've ever made. At Wed night rehearsal, my sucky Monday no longer matters, and on Sunday morning, it doesn't matter that Monday is going to happen again:bassist:
 
#6
I'm still feeling this way, and at 50+ :bawl:
I've had more than one wife 'force' me into selling gear I took what seemed like a lifetime to accumulate. Heck, wives come and go; just ask me. But that gear you miss? Irreplaceable, especially with eBay prices these days. And I've gone through 50's and 60's and 70's Fender, Gibson, Marshall, Pearl, Ludwig, you name it. :bawl::bawl::bawl:
 
#7
Hang in there.
Your time is not up, but your schedule is making it difficult (seemingly impossible) to do what you want to do with your music. I've been there!

I'm 42, have three kids, bills out da wazoo, a day job and enormous time constraints with kids activities and family schedule. However, my music schedule is busier than ever and I'm getting to the point where I'm having to say "no" more often than I would like.

Same with my older brother who is busier than ever with his weekend gigs in the Raleigh, NC area.

Set a goal to fit your music into your week:
Make it a habit to get the bass out and just play when you can- whether by yourself or with friends, gig or not.
Listen to the music you love, and keep your ears open to the new.

I used to think it had to be all or nothing, but I don't think that that was a productive approach for me. I hope your schedule becomes more manageable and that you find your balance.
peace,
R
 
#8
I know how you feel. At 20 I taught myself how to play bass,became good enough to join a band 6 months later,made a cd and played shows. I also wrote a short story that got published in a local `zine. I felt pretty good,like I got the ball rolling.
Now I`m about to turn 31. No band. No writing.
What I do have is a loving girlfriend and a good full time job. Sure,it bums me out that I had to put some stuff on hold. But life could be so much worse. Some times life gets in the way.
 
#9
Thanks for the encouragement guys, its all just kind of fallen into perspective over the last 2 days or so. One thing in particular that I'd hate to lose is my Mesa 410, its the first piece of REALLY nice gear I've owned but it takes up loads of space.

guy n. cognito said:
I'm 38. I have a full time job, two kids, a house and a mortgage. I'm still gigging out a few times a month and having a blast. No reason to give it up.
Click to expand...

I don't want to but with my line of work (cooking) and my schedule 3pm-11:30pm 5 days a week and always Fridays and weekends, gigging and practicing is rough.
 
#10
I am a super newbie here, so a little hesitant to post, but here is my take.

I wanted to play bass since the 4th grade, but we were poor and there was very little chance of that happening.

I joined the Air Force straight out of high school and at 20 I bought a bass. Took lessons for less than a year and quit. His teaching methods, my age and lack of dedication, BEER and GIRLS all combined cause me to give it up.

I am now 45 and this past Christmas I bought my own present and now I am taking lessons starting all over from step 1. I absolutely love it and can't imagine how things would be if I had just stuck with it.

Like the other guys said, life WILL get in the way of your dreams, but never let go of them.
 
#11
Young whippersnapper!!!
Keep some gear and the LOVE OF MUSIC alive, you will not be disappointed.
In bands from 1965(10 years old) to 1989, family time and relocation to Texas, 1989~2006, back in a great band 2006~present.
 
#12
sell what you absolutely must, but do not, under any circumstances get rid of your bass. It takes up less space than you think and you will make time when you can.

You may love your amps, and I encourage you keeping it as long as you can. But if it must go, like Yoda says: 'There is another'..

But even if your bass lives in a closet there will come a time when you pull it out, throw the strap over your shoulder and the feel of it will bring you joy.
 
#14
Keep playing no matter what. Many of us have gone through long, dark stages(no bass-no band)
For a while, I had only a beat up nylon string guitar with a wooden roof shingle as the bridge.
Times change, people change, opportunities come and go. The one constant is; you are a musician and always will be.
 
#15
Auto - you can leave the Mesa at my house. I'll feed it and care for it and give it a special place near my basses and you and the missus can come visit us in Florida any time you like. Then, when you're ready, you can take her home again. I promise not to let it near the pool without supervision and plenty of sunscreen.
 
#16
I'm only 17, but I'm realizing that I need to get my break before it's too late. Between high school and 35 hours of work a week, I'm seriously limited on my practice time. Often times, that leaves me up well past midnight trying to squeeze in some unamplified playing time.
 
#17
Tat2dHeart said:
Auto - you can leave the Mesa at my house. I'll feed it and care for it and give it a special place near my basses and you and the missus can come visit us in Florida any time you like. Then, when you're ready, you can take her home again. I promise not to let it near the pool without supervision and plenty of sunscreen.
Click to expand...

I dunno Tat, it puts out a lot of bassy rumbles and after hearing you and FM in the CWBs I'm not sure I'd leave you alone with it :) it does have the carpet covering after all.
 
#18
I don't plan on stopping playing its just I miss playing concerts, there's nothing like it and its crazy addicting. I've barely played any lately and now that I'm going to have to put it off for possibly years it just sucks. I want to keep my gear but that's a based on life circumstances. I don't care if i never get famous, not a concern of mine, I just want to make music for people. Oh well, we'll see what life deals me. Thanks everyone, the encouragement helps a lot coming from people who really understand the situation.
 
#19
Auto,
life gets busy. I sold off my stuff for a few years at one point and when I came back to it I felt renewed and like I could reinvent myself and my playing. Once a bassist always a bassist. If you have to sell off your gear, there are other things you can do to stay connected till you get back to a place where you are playing again on your terms.

Nothing can replace that feeling of stepping out onto a big stage and feeling the energy of the crowd. IMHO, I feel the excitement whether it's for 5 people or 5000.

Best of luck to you and hang in there man.
 
#20
I was just about to make a thread just like this one. I too am 23, have rent payments, car payments, and school loans to pay off(with no degree to show for it). I have contemplated long and hard about giving up, and just focusing on my schooling(now enrolled for Architectural Drafting).

I currently have my CV P bass, a GK mb200, and a GK Neo 112. I've had more expensive "better" gear, but for me, in my situation, this is perfect.

Talkbass these past few days has really inspired me and got me to realize that music is not all about the fame and fortune, but its about a passion. Music is lifelong.

I look at the elder members on here, and see how they are gigging, and recording, and a lot of them also working full time. Once I get my life situated. Why can't that be me too?

Moral of my post... Don't give up. Music may have to take the back seat for a while, but your bass will always be there when your ready to play again. When you have time.
 

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