Recording session nightmare

[Pauly 4001]

The sad part about most musicians I meet is their inability to be honest with themselves about their limitations. Few get better and even fewer care.
I did an album last year with an artist whom I'd played all year with. My friend was recording the album- it was a freshman experience for him. He needed the experience. The drummer she used was a terrible player; It wasn't a secret that he was bad. I told my friend who was recording that this guy wasn't good enough to record. He ignored me and said he could make him sound good. In the end, the drums were awful; even after retakes of all the songs, they were still terrible. My friend aged a lot through the process and spent 90% of his time doctoring the drums. I can't even listen to the album because it's so bad.
The worst part is that this drummer thinks he's great. That whole experience was very upsetting to me because of how good it could have been with the right players. The songs were good.

As someone who worked in a music store for several years I've got to say that there's a large percentage of delusional folks out there calling themselves musicians that are more than willing to push everyone around them, not to improve their performance but to promote themselves and reinforce what they're doing.
I couldn't tell you how many hours were spent with singers who couldn't sing who wanted to go through the whole used mic case to select an awful mic that would somehow give them the character they thought they ought to be promoting. You'd say that the awful mics would not perform in a live or studio environment, and that an SM-57 could be made to sound bad but would at least not feed back horribly or be inaudible and they would continue to go through all the miserable crap mics and buy one only to bring it back saying it fed back the entire time. This was of course in Seattle during the grunge thing in a used instrument store.
On the other hand there are folks out there who may or may not call themselves musicians who are somehow connected to divine inspiration and who make us all need music.

 

[joebar]

As someone who worked in a music store for several years I've got to say that there's a large percentage of delusional folks out there calling themselves musicians that are more than willing to push everyone around them, not to improve their performance but to promote themselves and reinforce what they're doing.
I couldn't tell you how many hours were spent with singers who couldn't sing who wanted to go through the whole used mic case to select an awful mic that would somehow give them the character they thought they ought to be promoting. You'd say that the awful mics would not perform in a live or studio environment, and that an SM-57 could be made to sound bad but would at least not feed back horribly or be inaudible and they would continue to go through all the miserable crap mics and buy one only to bring it back saying it fed back the entire time. This was of course in Seattle during the grunge thing in a used instrument store.
On the other hand there are folks out there who may or may not call themselves musicians who are somehow connected to divine inspiration and who make us all need music.

The worst part about this drummer, is that he plays all the time, but only plays mediocre gigs; the great players would never tolerate him. However, he was fortunate enough to land a high paying church gig and I think it inflated his ego. Same church approached me ( based on his recommendation)-to play for them; I flat out refused because of him alone

 

[LBS-bass]

What I recall most about when I lived in Northern Cal is the black widow spiders in all the pump houses. And under the hot tubs. It was sure scenic, though.

They're everywhere! Fortunately, they are very docile and shy will not bite unless extremely provoked. Mainly, they hide. I'm sure I have a yard full of them, my yard is wooded and full of ivy where they love to hide, but none of my dogs has ever been bitten and they run around in the brush back there all the time.

 

[deste]

Just this afternoon I was recalling a nice story I was involved in.
I won't say any name.

I used to play in a band, acoustic "folk-ish" music, and the leader, a virtuoso of his instrument, is asked to record a cd for a label specialized in his instrument.
A good friend of mine, also a good pianist, has a small studio very active in jazz an acoustic, so we choose him.
After two days of recording (the same well rehearsed material we are very familiar with after a lot concerts) we start to listen:
TRAGEDY!
Percussions are very often ahead or behind the beat, easy to notice because there was a lot of bleeding of bass and solo instruments in his mics (but note viceversa, luckily), and this would have made impossible to align any single beat in a clean way.
What to do? Tell him "we have to record again because you drunk your own brain that morning"?
The engineer comes up with a simple idea: takes the beats on the percussion track as triggers, substitutes them with high quality sampled sounds, and then quantizes it all in a musical way. The result was embarassingly good.
Anyway, we recorded again different songs in another studio abroad, chosen by the label (who anyway payed for the early recording) and the CD was taken from this new recording.

And the percussionist? Well, he noticed that the sounds in the final mix of the first recording had been altered, but was satisfied by the result.
Nobody told him the bitter truth.

 

[Vooter]

My worst session ever was "mixing" this turdnugget. Mizar, if you are reading talkbass, I'm sorry... but... no I'm not sorry.

https://www.amazon.com/Mizar-King-Stars/dp/B07JJG9JR1

Yes, it's weird and bad, and the audio source was a cassette tape with weird keyboard on the left side and weird vocals on the right. I started by asking him if he wanted me to put them both in the center and got a weird shrug that I couldn't interpret. The rest of the session was more of the same.

The real problem was he smelled really bad. Like awful...

An hour or so in, the power went out. All across the eastern seaboard (this was August 2003). The entire city of New York had no power. But for me it was a blessing even though I had to walk home 8 miles to Brooklyn, cuz I got to finish the session the next week unattended!

I don't know, man...the track below cracked me up...yes, it's insane, but I've heard plenty of less entertaining things in my life...although I can totally see how he might smell bad... I also walked home to Brooklyn in that 2003 blackout!

 

[pcake]

What I recall most about when I lived in Northern Cal is the black widow spiders in all the pump houses. And under the hot tubs. It was sure scenic, though.

we have black window spiders in socal, too. i found one on our porch just the other day. years ago, i was bit by a really small one, and it REALLY hurt - it felt like someone was running a soldering iron through my arm!

As someone who worked in a music store for several years I've got to say that there's a large percentage of delusional folks out there calling themselves musicians that are more than willing to push everyone around them, not to improve their performance but to promote themselves and reinforce what they're doing.
I couldn't tell you how many hours were spent with singers who couldn't sing who wanted to go through the whole used mic case to select an awful mic that would somehow give them the character they thought they ought to be promoting. You'd say that the awful mics would not perform in a live or studio environment, and that an SM-57 could be made to sound bad but would at least not feed back horribly or be inaudible and they would continue to go through all the miserable crap mics and buy one only to bring it back saying it fed back the entire time. This was of course in Seattle during the grunge thing in a used instrument store.
On the other hand there are folks out there who may or may not call themselves musicians who are somehow connected to divine inspiration and who make us all need music.

this is funny to me. i'm not a pro, but i sang with bands and for other people's demos and projects for years, and for stage, rehearsal and home recording, i worked with an SM58 or something similar, and i never once "auditioned" a mic to give my voice character. my voice and singing style have their own characters, and besides, sometimes when singing for other people, you want to adopt a different character that fits the songs. what do you do - pull out your country western mic or your metal mic or your blues mic? is that a thing?

when recording, studios chose the mic they thought would work best and that's what i used. it never even occurred to me to worry about whether a mic changed my voice 1%.

 

[MynameisMe]

when I hear myself talk or sing. It's terrible and I sound like I've had a severe head cold since puberty hit.

You've got the Detroit nasal twang. Both my brothers have it. I lived there until I was 15. Not everyone sounds like it there but many do.
YMMV.

 

[mikew31]

My worst session ever was "mixing" this turdnugget. Mizar, if you are reading talkbass, I'm sorry... but... no I'm not sorry.

https://www.amazon.com/Mizar-King-Stars/dp/B07JJG9JR1

Yes, it's weird and bad, and the audio source was a cassette tape with weird keyboard on the left side and weird vocals on the right. I started by asking him if he wanted me to put them both in the center and got a weird shrug that I couldn't interpret. The rest of the session was more of the same.

The real problem was he smelled really bad. Like awful...

An hour or so in, the power went out. All across the eastern seaboard (this was August 2003). The entire city of New York had no power. But for me it was a blessing even though I had to walk home 8 miles to Brooklyn, cuz I got to finish the session the next week unattended!

here it is. omg

I must be in some kind of mood today because this is quite entertaining! I've got the whole hour and five minute YT video playing and it's the perfect soundtrack for the US Open

 

[JimmyM]

I must be in some kind of mood today because this is quite entertaining! I've got the whole hour and five minute YT video playing and it's the perfect soundtrack for the US Open

I was expecting much worse. Other than the smell, I think I'd have enjoyed working on it.

 

[And I]

I must be in some kind of mood today because this is quite entertaining! I've got the whole hour and five minute YT video playing and it's the perfect soundtrack for the US Open

I'm glad others are able to feel joy from my pain. Good thing you can't smell an album.

 

[And I]

I was expecting much worse. Other than the smell, I think I'd have enjoyed working on it.

Get in a time machine, get to NYC, and give me your number, the gig is yours!

 

[MCF]

i know, right???

I made it to 2:24. Holy s**t that's awful.

 

[MCF]

I must be in some kind of mood today because this is quite entertaining! I've got the whole hour and five minute YT video playing and it's the perfect soundtrack for the US Open

I'd rather hear this. Or not.

 

[JimmyM]

I'd rather hear this. Or not.

That record raked in big money in 1967. To make that kind of money I'd sit through it a million times. Or at least 5 or 6.

 

[Jay Corwin]

Maybe in a fit of ego she'll post it to YouTube or Soundcloud someday. It's amazing how many people don't filter out their sub-par stuff there.

Agree. Most people at that level aren't objective about their own stuff either.

 

[rogerbmiller]

 

[ScottsTheLimit]

I would scrap the session... no charge, but they don't get to keep the tapes.

What are tapes?

 

[bolophonic]

i've had water meters in the los angeles area all my life - that means since the late '50s. maybe it's just your area.



don't forget your sinuses contribute to your voice when you hear it, too.



here it is. omg

It sounds like Mrs. Miller had a baby with Wesley Willis in a baseball stadium.

 

[Cliff Colton]

Does a fender bass take away from the vocal more than other basses? I thought it was less.

 

[dbase]

What are tapes?

Ha ha giving away my age... I'm pre-digital