slobake
resident ... something
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Resolved: was yada yada what should I do?
- Thread starter LBS-bass
- Start date
I am glad to hear you are moving on. Life is too short. There is enough weight on your shoulders without carrying the extra load.
And speaking of extra load, you may still want to try the flaming doodie bag trick. And if you wear a disguise it still counts as taking the high road.
And speaking of extra load, you may still want to try the flaming doodie bag trick. And if you wear a disguise it still counts as taking the high road.
But if you decide to hire an attorney, make sure you find an attorney that rocks!
slobake
resident ... something
Just kidding. Came late so i didn't see your original post. Sounds like you have worked it out in the best way possible though. Probably good that you can come here and tell us what is going on. No advice other than that. I do applaud how you decided to respond.
I was thinking maybe I'd better call Saul
Thank you. I was pretty angry yesterday, but I think the matter has been addressed in a level-headed manner. People can make up their own minds but my side of the story is pretty benign and available for anyone who might have received this message from him. They will know who it was; others will not, but if he contacts them, they'll know.
Yep I don't need that guy renting any more space in my head.Good for you that you're moving on.
Any more time spent grinding about it is wasted time IMHO.
All kidding aside, I was pretty petty and carried a lot of grudges and personal baggage when I was a baby. It's fun to joke about but life is so much less complicated when you let that stuff go.
And you find that if you shed that negativity you're more open to opportunities and good things seem to come more easily. Leave all the drama to the lead guitarists.
And you find that if you shed that negativity you're more open to opportunities and good things seem to come more easily. Leave all the drama to the lead guitarists.
Once I had a 'friend' who betrayed me like no other. I've been betrayed alright, but this guy did it on a level I'd never experienced before.
There was no fighting it IME, everyone wanted to believe The Bad, & none of The Good. (huMAN natURE)
That was 15 years ago & some of the folks he slandered me to still believe the BS.
BTW, the more I tried to defend myself, the worse it got!
There was no fighting it IME, everyone wanted to believe The Bad, & none of The Good. (huMAN natURE)
That was 15 years ago & some of the folks he slandered me to still believe the BS.
BTW, the more I tried to defend myself, the worse it got!
Supporting membership comes with a few perks, increased editing is one of them. I figured if I didn't edit I'd be getting advice into next week, but I'm good, so trying to discourage additional input that is no longer needed.
It really stings when someone betrays you on that level and people believe the lies. There are certain types of people who seem capable of twisting everything to make it sound like they are always a victim. I try to stay away from those types when I can spot them.
This particular situation had some red flags from the beginning, but my solution to that sort of uncertainty in band situations has always been to onboard as a hired gun, which gives me time to decide if I want to be more closely involved or not. As a hired gun I figured once things went weird I wasn't emotionally invested (though I had put a lot of work into learning the music) and so it was pretty easy for me to just walk away and pursue other opportunities. It was a real shock to find out that this person had not only never let that go but was proactively texting people a year later.
But, it's done. I'm okay with the way it was handled. I'm sorry that in your case people were not able to see past this but some people are very clever about how they present their victim status to the world and there's always a percentage of people who fall for it
I discovered the betrayal slowly over time.
This 'friend' went away for the weekend with another friend, & when they came back our mutual friend had nothing but snark for me.
Eventually I realized he had poisoned all our 'friends', bad news travels fast.
I came to realize soon that all my drinking pals were just fair-weather friends.
This 'friend' went away for the weekend with another friend, & when they came back our mutual friend had nothing but snark for me.
Eventually I realized he had poisoned all our 'friends', bad news travels fast.
I came to realize soon that all my drinking pals were just fair-weather friends.
I guess they were never really friends, then. It's sad, but people who can be swayed by gossip are probably not worth keeping around. Like others here have said, I tend to judge people and situations on the basis of actions, not what others say.
I worked with a guitarist for a while who always had gossip about people in the scene. I figured if he was saying stuff about everyone else, he's probably out there saying things about me, as well, but I didn't much care because I know that he has a reputation as a gossip and people take that with a grain of salt.
Unlike this other guy, he's not deliberately and proactively texting people to warn them away from working with this person or that one. So he's a silly person, but really not a harmful or malicious one. He's certainly not someone I want to hang out with on a regular basis though. I liked the guy until I saw that he was always talking about other people.
