Return or keep it

[HamOnTheCob]

At this point I begin to take issue. I'll speak for myself and only myself. I believe the point is that you should want to keep the gift because of who gave it to you and why, not because of what it is. In my instance, there is no "white lie". I'm not being dishonest ...I love it, because it's from her. The fact that she delved into an area where she is not an expert means that much more.

It is a gift. That is, something you would not have had unless your significant other thought about you. Your returning it, IMHO (bolded to avoid putting words in someone's mouth), is like saying "nice thought, but not good enough for me". I've received dozens of gifts that I would not buy myself in my lifetime. This Christmas, should I take everything she gets me to a pawn shop and get another bass? Oh, wait. Have any children? Chances are, they will pick out something for you that they truly believe you want. Let's carefully explain to them that they really don't know your tastes, and return their gift. No point in being counter productive with the ones you love. Next time, that kid will get it right.

How strong is my relationship? I'll call you in 20 years and let you know.

And lastly....the term "cowardly"? Are you more of a man because you had the "courage" to tell someone you love that they got you the wrong gift? Voicing an opinion is not a sign of bravery. It can be a sign of other things.

Mike

My comments were aimed at those who expressed sentiments like these:

"If you value your marriage and want to play again keep the bass"

"This is what you do:
Say "oh theres something wrong with it"
Take it in. Replace with something you really like. Take home and say
"Oh the problem was unfixable I had to replace it"
Gifts are one of the only places you can lie guilt free."

"Listen to the 95% of the guys out here & keep the bass... AND LOVE IT!! The other 5% are probably single & clueless anyway."

"i dont think that would be a wise choice health wise if you did that"



And about keeping a gift no matter what! What if someone buys you a shirt and it doesn't fit? You gonna wear it? No, you're gonna take it back and get one that does fit. Same thing. You get a bass that doesn't suit you, so you take it back to get one that does. Bottom line, you end up with a new bass that you wouldn't have had if not for the thought and effort of the gift-giver. It doesn't matter that the gift they gave you isn't what you wanted. What matters is that because they thought enough of you to get you a gift, you now have something you can use and cherish. Indirectly, your happiness with the bass you end up with is because of the gift the wife gave you. You can STILL cherish the new bass as something that was made possible by your wife, and you can STILL appreciate her effort and show her that you loved the thought of her gift.

I just simply don't understand how giving a gift also includes giving someone an obligation to keep that gift! That just sounds so completely ridiculous to me! That doesn't sound ridiculous to you?

 

[jrug]

Ahhh yes, but I've been with the same beautiful woman for over 8 years now and have managed to remain HAPPILY unmarried. When you can pull that off, then come back at me with the sarcasm.

You get MY respect...

I think the fact that you had to ask what you should do here pretty well indicates that you should keep the bass. If you thought your girl would be okay with you taking it back, this wouldn't be an issue. Don't do it if you know it's gonna hurt her.
It seems to me, though, that any girl cool enough to buy her man a bass would probably be cool enough to understand that it's not the right bass for him. Letting the bass just sit around will NOT go unnoticed and could end up being more hurtful than a little bit of upfront honesty. I think you ought to figure out exactly what it is about that bass you don't like (and I hope it's not just the name), tactfully explain it to your girl, and ask her to help you pick out a different one. That way she'll still be involved in getting something you like and she'll get to go on another shopping trip. They love that stuff. Oh yeah, if you do that, make sure you stop somewhere on the way back from the music shop and pick her up something. You're still gonna have some butt to kiss.

 

[Josh Curry]

While I would keep it, if only because my wife went to the trouble of getting it for me (even though it's probably my least favorite brand of bass ON THE FLIPPIN' PLANET!!!!), BassWhore's quote above may be the best I've seen here. Maybe ever. I might have to use it in my sig.

Haha, please do!