SBL: Quitting

[cnltb]

And why.

This whole "never quit" is just bos taurus excrement. I was in sales for 10 years. I was a mediocre salesman (too honest) and I should have quit long before I did. I went into IT and in about three years I doubled my salary. I went on to become a technical director and was exponentially more successful than I every could have been as a salesman. My first instrument was drums - boring; then trombone - hated it; then piano - liked it but not passionately; then bass - I couldn't put it down.

Despite the motivational regurgitation, you SHOULD reassess your situation and quit and change course if necessary. Everybody can't be good at everything.

duely noted and adjusted accordingly.

 

[Yellow Bang66]

It took three tries for me with Facebook, peer pressure was very strong, and only retiring from gigging completely made it really work. I pretty much got told I needed a FB account if I wanted a NAMM badge one year, even. So I went with accepting no friends and just having a business page, which IMEis pretty worthless if you're not willing to buy into FB's pay for clicks model. I still managed to get more than 1800 hits in less than a day with one particular new bass day post though, and it was just an in-progress pic.

@Dr. Cheese: no sniping at your viewing habits intended, it seems to make you quite happy beyond the GAS inducing aspect.

Good for you! I never got it, I was peer pressured in to opening an account, ieven in the My space days, but I didnt get it the allure, why had some of my bffs were soooo hooked! I resisted & resisted. Eventually, gave up. The worse I got was wanting to play games through it. but as soon as that got boring I was done! I however love youtube, I got hooked by watching DIY vids, while rebuilding my bass! I find them soo informative, unlike FB on YT i'm actually learning something! learned to Refinish my bass & rewire it too. & how to solder! with really good results!
I even got pressured at an old job to have an FB account!they Joked that i was on the "anti- Social Media"networks! then Linkedin became a thing. but I didnt like my employer/ bosses being in touch with my friends! plus I had a Crazy Ex that could ve made things weird or weirder. soo I just stay away!

 

[rutabaga bob]

Got off a Farcebook after I got hit by a spam site. Only thing I occasionally miss is some of the groups I was in.

 

[arbiterusa]

I have failed in every endeavor I’ve ever tried in my life and sometimes disastrously so. But I never quit. Nor will I. That refusal to quit is why I have my wife, my home, my college degree (and I could write an entire book about the string of nonstop failure that was), my dog, kickass bass chops and the ability, most nights, to sleep with a very clean conscience.

Now, that being said, it’s important to know when to punch out of the burning airplane. Like quite a few commenters here, this is literally my last standing social media outlet. The big guys (Zuckerborg, etc) are a plane on fire that not only are putting in mortal danger you personally, but the society you live in. So quitting is assuredly the right choice...sometimes.

But really don’t quit college, guys. Even if it takes you fifty years to get that degree. Don’t quit that.

 

[Dr. Cheese]

And why.

This whole "never quit" is just bos taurus excrement. I was in sales for 10 years. I was a mediocre salesman (too honest) and I should have quit long before I did. I went into IT and in about three years I doubled my salary. I went on to become a technical director and was exponentially more successful than I every could have been as a salesman. My first instrument was drums - boring; then trombone - hated it; then piano - liked it but not passionately; then bass - I couldn't put it down.

Despite the motivational regurgitation, you SHOULD reassess your situation and quit and change course if necessary. Everybody can't be good at everything.

I cannot argue with that. I will, say that with the bass, I have considered quitting, but I have come to terms with my modest talent, and I am happy with what I contribute at my church. I played for a funeral yesterday, and I think we gave the family some nice, low volume praise music. I am happy I can do that.

 

[skycruiser]

So much honesty... sips coffee...

I've been playing bass for 35 years. I have never had anything that remotely looks like success. Not financial, not in respect from any peer group, not in notoriety anywhere. In fact I feel as though most of my local bass playing community thinks I am insane or they have never heard of me. No one knows who I am. I couldn't get a gig today if you put a gun to my head... Does this sound like something I should continue to dump hours of my life and thousands of dollars into? I've been in some bands, but that is kinda behind me at this point. I play in my living room for myself and occasionally stream to my 6 friends on facebook. I put videos on YouTube that no one watches. I have albums on Spotify that no one listens too. Distrokid owes me 9 bucks. I have 30 grand in basses, pedals, and recording gear and 35 years of experience. What do I have to show for it? A closet full of gear I paid way too much for and will never be able to get my money out of. How Icarus falls...

I play for me. Always have. But the effort to put it out there for anyone and everyone to ignore is getting tired.

The big takeaway unfortunately is that I have been wasting time chasing faeries in my backyard.

Don't forget that one day you will die and it will all have been for nothing anyway!

Only half kidding...

 

[arbiterusa]

I cannot argue with that. I will, say that with the bass, I have considered quitting, but I have come to terms with my modest talent, and I am happy with what I contribute at my church. I played for a funeral yesterday, and I think we gave the family some nice, low volume praise music. I am happy I can do that.

Doc: I know working guys (it’s poorly paid work these days which is why we all have day jobs) who’s jobs you could have in a heartbeat. You’re good.

 

[Joebone]

Deleted my LinkedIn page - never reached out to recruit others, and those showing up were not representative of my life. Have thought about doing same with Facebook, on which I affirmatively post stuff maybe 3-5 times a year, but I have family keeping in touch through that medium so I stick with it, but only check in when I get notice of messages I want to see. No interest in Instagram. If I was looking to make $$ as a musician, I'd put up a website, and might do so as I pivot toward retirement from my day gig...but maybe not...time will tell.

 

[Vitamin D]

Never quit something that you want to do based on other people. In music, don't "quit" because you failed an audition or didn't get any "likes". If you're pursuing music for yourself, only quit if your heart's not in it.

But do quit things that you have no specific love for, like a job that's killing you, an abusive relationship, or social media. If it adds nothing to your life and you're only staying for others, then quit while the quitting's good!

 

[Killing Floor]

I quit expecting the Falcons to win more than 8 times a year. I quit expecting them to win a Lombardi in the '90s. I quit hoping Matt Ryan would take a few steps into that truck sized hole to the yard to make. But I never quit cheering for my favorite team. Managing expectations is not the same as quitting. Managing expectations is Punting. Punting is not Quitting.

 

[Altitude]

So much honesty... sips coffee...

I've been playing bass for 35 years. I have never had anything that remotely looks like success. Not financial, not in respect from any peer group, not in notoriety anywhere. In fact I feel as though most of my local bass playing community thinks I am insane or they have never heard of me. No one knows who I am. I couldn't get a gig today if you put a gun to my head... Does this sound like something I should continue to dump hours of my life and thousands of dollars into? I've been in some bands, but that is kinda behind me at this point. I play in my living room for myself and occasionally stream to my 6 friends on facebook. I put videos on YouTube that no one watches. I have albums on Spotify that no one listens too. Distrokid owes me 9 bucks. I have 30 grand in basses, pedals, and recording gear and 35 years of experience. What do I have to show for it? A closet full of gear I paid way too much for and will never be able to get my money out of. How Icarus falls...

I play for me. Always have. But the effort to put it out there for anyone and everyone to ignore is getting tired.

The big takeaway unfortunately is that I have been wasting time chasing faeries in my backyard.

Our profiles are very similar. I guess I'd ask you about the experiences you had along the way and the people you met, and what those things are worth.

 

[FDR Jones]

Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do. Quitting music is rarely one of those things.

 

[singlemalt]

Quitting Facebook was a great move. I never had any other social media besides Talkbass and a local kite forum. I can waste plenty of time with just the two, or buy basses, or gear.

I've gone thirty years without TV, but this stuff has crept in through my cell phone, computers and tablets. Great tools, but somebody who wants something put these things in my hands. One researcher called it "brain fracking" the constant and unrelenting goal of grabbing out attention.

So, I'm trying to quit. (but here I am)

Youtube is limited to dog rescues and Yoga with Adrienne. Walks in the woods with the dogs are strictly "no phone". I still spend too much time on the internet. Especially when the weather sucks. I'm so happy spring is here.

This article I read couple days ago kind of nailed it. It's been a long year and more of pandemic, politics, and economic upheaval. I think we're underestimating the price we are paying for this kind of stress.
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Hopefully, it's not behind a paywall or you have a few free reads left.

The part about removing distractions and trying for a flow state of mind really hit home.

 

[strigidae]

Great video! I could have used it a couple weeks ago after a bad church band practice night. Just couldnt find my stride for a week or two.

 

[RichardW]

Quit FB about 3 years ago and it was one of the best decisions. So nice no longer dealing with all that constant flow of BS. I interact with people IRL who are big FB users--they seem to live in a state of constant agitation bordering on rage. The number of times they preface a rant with "I saw this thing on FB..." and I'm like "why do you do that to yourself?"

I do interact with my band's page, when we have updates--but it's been six months since we had a gig, LOL. But as far as a habit--FB has been kicked.

Now working on getting off Instagram.

 

[Heavy Blue]

Nah, (mostly) quitting YouTube and Facebook has actually been a very positive experience.

It depends I guess.

My now ex-wife made up my Facebook account to start with but I’ve never been a big user.

As a kid and teen, I grew up very isolated from others both family and others and as such when I left my hometown decades ago I didn’t really take anyone’s contact info or keep in touch and tbh didn’t care at the time.

However, over the last year or two I’ve reconnected with many folks that I grew up with and likewise for those I served with. So for me Facebook has been a largely positive thing as long as, just like on TB, I stay out of stupid debates with stupid people.

As for IG, I have an account but it really doesn’t float my boat tbh. It seems redundant to me when I already have FB.

I watch YouTube but to me it isn’t really social media. I watch videos and that’s it. I don’t communicate with anyone irl via it.

So for me FB has actually been a good thing. Go figure.

 

[bass12]

Quit FB about 3 years ago and it was one of the best decisions. So nice no longer dealing with all that constant flow of BS. I interact with people IRL who are big FB users--they seem to live in a state of constant agitation bordering on rage. The number of times they preface a rant with "I saw this thing on FB..." and I'm like "why do you do that to yourself?"

I do interact with my band's page, when we have updates--but it's been six months since we had a gig, LOL. But as far as a habit--FB has been kicked.

Now working on getting off Instagram.

I still have my FB account (for work purposes) but I haven’t been on it in around ten months. I just got tired of feeling frustrated with all of the stupidity and virtue signalling. It was depressing me so I just stopped. I’m much happier now. My only other social media has been TB.

 

[Pet Sounds]

Scott's anecdote about the teacher reminds me of a time many years ago when I took an aptitude test for a job I was seeking. Long story short, it said I had low aptitude for the job at hand, but great aptitude for a field I hated. I didn't get that job, but went on to have a very successful career in my "poor aptitude" field. I say this only to reinforce Scott's basic premise.

 

[Dr. Cheese]

Never quit something that you want to do based on other people. In music, don't "quit" because you failed an audition or didn't get any "likes". If you're pursuing music for yourself, only quit if your heart's not in it.

But do quit things that you have no specific love for, like a job that's killing you, an abusive relationship, or social media. If it adds nothing to your life and you're only staying for others, then quit while the quitting's good!

I agree!

 

[NortyFiner]

I use Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family, not for anything professional nor for random socializing with people I would rather see shot into the sun (which is the vast majority of humanity, unfortunately). I don't use Twitter because it encourages thoughtless trigger responses. I've never been into photo or video sharing stuff like Instagram or Tiktok; I'm the kind of guy who just likes to take things in and (GASP) remember them, without the need to document them for everyone else's benefit. Are everyone else's lives so bankrupt that all they can do is sit around swiping on pictures of things other people already did? Seriously...

Anyway, regarding music, I got a later start in life that I wish I had, and any dreams of rock stardom I might have had were washed out by the tides of Real Life well before I turned 30. I accepted then that I'm only playing for myself as a hobby and any money I spend on gear is ultimately a waste, but that's OK. Whether it's gear, money or anything else, I can't take any of it with me in the end so it's ALL a waste, so I might as well enjoy it while I have it. Quit? Yeah, eventually I'll have to; my hands get worse every year, but that happens when you're 52 years old with CTS from 20 years of Navy engineer wear and tear. Think of the serenity prayer, and abide.

 

[Doctor Intrepid]

Took nearly 30 years, but I quite smoking. Sometimes quitting is a triumph.