Seeing through eBay descriptions

[Munjibunga]

That was my favorite, too.

 

[JansenW]

Here's some more...

Neck is straight = but the fingerboard isn’t
Unplayed = Can’t be played
Used only in studio = couldn’t be gigged
What you see is what you get = you’re buying the picture!
Minor wear = Used by high school bands

How about...

Lots of lows = ?
Sustains for days = ?

 

[jonathan_matos5]

Here's some more...

Neck is straight = but the fingerboard isn’t
Unplayed = Can’t be played
Used only in studio = couldn’t be gigged
What you see is what you get = you’re buying the picture!
Minor wear = Used by high school bands

How about...

Lots of lows = ?
Sustains for days = ?

lots of lows = treble pot doesnt work

 

[JansenW]

lots of lows = treble pot doesnt work

I like that one!

 

[taffae]

I will take a shot at these...

Vintage = over priced
Never abused = Dropped only once
Amazing = just like the other 1 million copies
Work of art = just like th other 1 million copies
Plays unbelievably = have played worse
Congratulations = your stuck with it.
Hand made = made in a high school shop class
A steal = it really is stolen.

 

[tadawson]

Amazing sound == more fret buzz than you have ever heard
Totally silent electronics == dead preamp
Truly unque == I made it out of a log I found in the backyard
Sustains forever == never seen feedback in a bass pre before . . .

 

[Hyde]

Minor wear = Used by high school bands

You know, I'm in high school and all my friends and I tend to take very good care of our instruments. I mean, think about it, when you earn the money for them flipping burgers all summer at 6 bucks an hour, you REALLY don't want to have to get a new one. . .

 

[JansenW]

You know, I'm in high school and all my friends and I tend to take very good care of our instruments. I mean, think about it, when you earn the money for them flipping burgers all summer at 6 bucks an hour, you REALLY don't want to have to get a new one. . .

Sorry, didn't mean to offend.

[edit] I meant to imply that the wear was due to people under 18 years old, not that there was a lot of wear.

 

[JansenW]

Here’s some more…

One owner = never been able to sell it
With non-original case = didn’t have time to steal the original case
Photos are not of actual bass = be stupid
Don’t be shy = be stupid

Try these…

Originally bought from GC = ?
Always pampered = ?
Reserve is a steal = ?
No issues to worry about = ?

 

[parkerd]

Will only ship to the USA = This thing is so ugly it would violate international trade laws

Will only ship to the USA = Would be intercepted by customs/quarantine, as it is loaded with termites.

 

[verbass]

okay here's some more

Originally bought from GC = so it was a piece of junk when i got it
Always pampered = used a diaper to clean it
Reserve is a steal = I have no idea what its worth
No issues to worry about = Don't Worry Be Happy

 

[tadawson]

Reserve is a steal == I'll be robbing you blind on this one . . .

 

[JansenW]

And here’s some more…

For its age = like all the other worn out basses
You will not be disappointed = you will be shocked
No belt scratches = just buckle scratches
Super lightweight = super lightweight sound
Fraction of original price = 2/1 is also a fraction

Try these…

Doesn’t look near as bad as a lot of others = ?
Plays amazingly well = ?
100% playable condition = ?

 

[Poop-Loops]

Doesn’t look near as bad as a lot of others = still pretty bad, though

Plays amazingly well = as long as you stick to the E string

100% playable condition = You'll only be playing the root, right?

 

[parkerd]

Hey... found an example of an eBay ad.

It's a vintage fender-style bridge
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Vintage-Fend...3QQihZ001QQcategoryZ38079QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

 

[JansenW]

Again some more…

Here’s the story = I’m telling you a story
May need adjustment = needs adjustment
All parts are original = all parts are old
I’m not an expert but... = ...but I can still try to take your money
part can be replaced easily = ...but not easy enough for me

Try these…

Check the current price =
Well used =
Don’t let this get away =

 

[parkerd]

Check the current price =
Well used =

Check the current price = ... and you'll find the model is discontinued.

Well used = Twisted neck, worn out frets, and patches of finish missing in certain places.

 

[Hyde]

Sorry, didn't mean to offend.

[edit] I meant to imply that the wear was due to people under 18 years old, not that there was a lot of wear.

Haha, ooooops. . .

 

[JansenW]

Here's some more...

People never sell these = other people couldn’t sell these
Fret wear consistent with rest of bass = it’s all pretty old period!
Now discontinued = manufacturer also couldn’t sell these either
Don't have a use for it anymore = it’s useless

Try these…

Bid with confidence =
For investment potential =
Wish bass for sale =

 

[Dkerwood]

Have no way to test it = it doesn't work
Selling these as a lot = cleaning out my trash can
Buyer to pay shipping costs = $20 shipping, $50 "handling"
Powers on = light turns on, but nothing else happens
No photos, sorry = it's easier to rob you blind when you can't see to begin with...
Vintage sound = crackly
Rich tone = muddy
Wife says it has to go = because she's tired of it sitting in the hall closet.
Bought this for my son's band = it's trashed
I'm selling because I upgraded = this can't even be a backup
I don't know anything about this = prepare to be screwed by an expert
It'll make someone a very lucky person = yeah, the guy selling it...