Should I stay or should I go?

[coyote1]

I’m a totally non-religious guy. Yet as long as the religious institution involved is not overtly evangelist and not political, that is it consists of people aspiring to live their beliefs for themselves and not clobber the rest of the world over the head with their beliefs, I’ve had no issue whatsoever performing with and for them. I’ve performed with Catholic, Protestant and Hebrew organizations, from occasional subbing with gospel groups to klezmer. Music is music, and transcends all that stuff IMO.

 

[Jhengsman]

I guess the key here is how small a town and how far away are you from other places to serve. But then I live in a big city with a few church rows were you can find many smaller churches from the same denomination within walking distance of each other and each has a bigger problem of finding servers in all ministries than the large churches. So their social programs along with the stage show don't look as impressive.

Just saying at the larger house you are more easily replaceable so don't be burdened by that if you are feeling that the specific local church is not in line with how you feel

 

[Koshchei]

Disclaimer: I know we're not allowed to talk religion on these boards, but the venue in question is a church. And it's a regular gig. I'll do my best not to cross that line.

I grew up in church. It's part of the fabric of who I am, whether I like it or not. I've almost always volunteered to 'serve' in music wherever I've attended. Most recently, I've been playing bass (& sometimes lead guitar) at a the 'big church' (roughly 1500-2000 ppl) in our small(ish) town. Been doing that a few times a month for the past 5 years.

I'm surrounded by a good group of musicians. No attitudes. Good vibe. Okay... maybe the keyboard player noodles instead of knowing his part, but that's to be expected with gospel keyboard players, right?

Over the years, I have found my beliefs to drift away from those of the church. While Evangelical churches have become more and more corporate and political, I have become less so. But I've kept playing, telling myself that I do it because of the relationships I have with my fellow bandmates and a few other folks at the church. And I've liked the idea of helping out, since this church does a lot for the community.

Recently, the church band has been transitioning to click tracks, Ableton...etc, along with an upscale video/audio suite. I've started noticing some new musicians that I don't know or have that relationship with. I've also started noticing that a lot of the older players are playing less and less. Without those guys, I become one of the older guys on stage by a decade or more. Granted I'm young at heart (immature? lol) and stuff like that doesn't bother me. Still, it's different than it used to be.

I still enjoy playing. But the new, enhanced focus on the stage production is a little off-putting. It feels like the focus is on the wrong thing. The influx of what I see as restrictive changes, combined with my growing and changing belief system is making me wonder if it's worth showing up anymore. Maybe it's better to walk away, for my own well-being. Or maybe it's good for me to continue to help out?

I've discussed this with the lead pastor. I've also talked with the worship pastor (I think he gets it). But I'm not sure I'm getting unbiased advice from either of them. I mean, they have to be there, since their paycheck is tied to the success of the church, right?

Without getting into a religious discussion, I'm curious if anyone else here has had a similar experience? Maybe it wasn't a church, but something similar? What did you do? If not, what would you do?

I'd go. You seem to be wavering, but don't really trust the people running the operation, and that speaks volumes. A relationship has to be mutually beneficial, or it isn't a relationship.

 

[Johnny StingRay]

Long story short………I left my praise group after 15 years when I felt that the prayer was no longer the priority.
I may be joining another praise group because they need a bassist and my overall impression is that they put prayer first.

 

[boombloom]

If the church you're in starts playing different tunes I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

 

[74hc]

Sounds like it's a simple process. If it's no longer you worship place, then it's a job. Is the job worthy of volunteering time and money for a good cause? If no, then is the pay worth it? If still no, find a replacement gig.

 

[Blankandson]

Hope this doesn't overstep any boundries.

Does anyone really know how Hillsong 'does' their music? Here's where that question comes from. If you look online for a song by them, you have choices. Radio version. Live version. Studio version. Church version (large, medium, or small). Then look at the YouTube videos of their live performances. How many people do you see on stage behind the singers. Five? Seven? Maybe a dozen? Now go seem them in concert and sit behind the stage. Now how many musicians do you see? The one where I could see in the sunken pit behind the stage I saw three more keys, two more percussionlst, two more guitarist, and four more singers. All connected to a computer system. These are the 'ringers' that you don't see in the videos. That sound is from many people (a few of which are very very good musicians) all doing their tiny part in a large 'orchestra.' That is probably why they sell all kinds of background music 'pads' or whatever you want to call them. Otherwise, your local small church needs about a dozen musicians on stage every Sunday. Just worthless comments here from someone who has eyes as well as ears. And has spent many years in Music City as an invisible 'ringer.'

 

[TheReceder]

As a music lead music minister I had to make a choice to either stay or go. The Priest wanted nothing but contemporary songs from local Christian radio, and I knew that for my faith it was liturgically incorrect. I had to come straight out and say that's like feeding kids nothing but desert, and leaving out the meat and potatoes. I mean, it' good once in a while, but you can't live off it. It didn't help that the choir was all in for it, so I ended out letting them that I couldn't play what they wanted in good conscience and opted to go to a different Church. When I left, all the music books were trashed, and the photocopied lyrics and made their own music book for the church. Basically stealing the music in my opinion.

A couple years later, the Priest was basically fired, the choir had told me that they realized I was right and everyone moved on in life. I ended out being asked to lead again at the new Church. I was happy.

Today I still play in church. I started on guitar, until I'd mentioned I play bass. We had a bass player that played guitar that has some minor timing issues, I was asked to swap back and forth. After my first week playing bass, it was ... ok... you've played a lot before ... we want you on bass. We can get by with 3 acoustic guitars....

and again.... I'm happy.

My recommendation if your musical needs, as well as your spiritual needs aren't being met... it's time to move... check the song "Lord Move or move me by" FFH.

 

[Shatnertoupee]

Once you start slide away from something, (marriage, church, job), it's near impossible to find that same enthusiasm for which you started. That little voice telling you to move on will either get louder or you'll figure out a way to ignore it. The latter will only fill you with regret as time goes on. Accept the fact that you've grown and want to do something else. It's allowed.

 

[JRA]

I'm curious if anyone else here has had a similar experience? Maybe it wasn't a church, but something similar? What did you do? If not, what would you do?

disclosure: i've only had paid church gigs.... which made everything else a non-issue for me.

i read your OP as: "things are changing and i don't like it that much." you'd CYA by sticking this out until you have a better gig. good luck!

 

[LBS-bass]

Maybe find a church whose values are more in line with yours. About ten years ago I had to leave a church I was playing at because I could no longer support their attitudes, etc. I was soon recruited by a small church that can barely put together a band and singers. It's not the most musically inspiring situation, but I feel good being a part of it.

Agreed. There are a multitude of churches out there; not all of them share the same values. If religion is important to you, it might be a good time to visit some new places and see if you like what you see and hear.

 

[wazzel]

I still play in a church group even tho my beliefs have change significantly over the years. My relationship with the people in the group, especially the leader and knowing people appreciate what I do keeps me there. After COVID I had no real desire to go back, but the leader contacted me directly and asked if I would come back. It is going well so far.

 

[GreyBeard]

Change is the one thing you can always count on. More and more people are coming to church these days to be entertained by the production and not necessarily the message. And, sadly more and more churches have become political right or left. Only you can decide if it is worth it or not.

 

[fhm555]

If it was strictly performance one could pull back and be a member of the congregation, but there seems to be a desire to just walk away from the whole thing.
I’d very carefully go over my motivation to pull back from both to see if i’m rationalizing dropping one to better justify a desire to drop the other.
Maybe just take a break from everything related for a while then revisit after you’ve had some time to (hopefully) get a clearer prospective of how your faith and your music influence and inform the overall trajectory of your life. Maybe give the current muddy waters a chance to settle before making any moves that would be difficult to undo.
Beyond that I’d say best of luck going forward.

 

[danster]

My .02 cents -
Always difficult when change may be needed.
I believe that as believers, we have the Holy Spirit to help us and guide us.
Wait and listen... He may have already spoken to your heart.
For such a time as this has God saved us! Either we're in the game or on the sidelines.
Serving for the sake of serving can be drudgery.

God Bless - Dan

 

[bass81800]

I see this as a great opportunity to learn new skills that may be transferable to another situation. But I would also start looking for a situation that aligns more with who you are. Maybe stay with this gig until a new situation presents itself.

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

So Anyway, I played in two bands longer than I should have. A church band was one of them.

I'd lost whatever reason brought me to that church in the first place. Everyone in the band was a good friend, and when I didn't play they usually hired someone from our local university. I was their dependable, no-cost option. But there comes a time when you just need to move on...and let them move on.

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[tb-player]

disclosure: i've only had paid church gigs.... which made everything else a non-issue for me.

i read your OP as: "things are changing and i don't like it that much." you'd CYA by sticking this out until you have a better gig. good luck!

Good advice. I’m definitely not rushing into anything.

 

[Lane Denson]

I was going to say, are they really nicer than average?

Can't speak for everyone but where I attend, for the most part, yes.

 

[Eilif]

Let me just say this, with regard to beliefs drifting away from the church... most big Evangelical churches are more about self-help than anything related to "do justice, love mercy, walk humbly...etc." Mine seems to be headed in that direction as well. The music performance/production is part of that... whatever keeps the butts in the seats.

I haven't necessarily lost faith. I've just lost faith in church, as a whole.

I'm roughly where you are faith wise and am blessed that my church is also...

... and I still quit my worship team!

Theologically or practically speaking there's nothing wrong with a given form of service being for a "season". To everything, turn, turn, turn, etc....

The fact that you and your church are drifting apart probably indicates that unless there's some divine reason to stick around and be a change agent it may be time to move on.

One question to consider, if there was a social justice group or study at your church you could participate in at your church would you stick around?