Small Jam - Assorted Egos: What I learned last night.

[DianaBass]

I went to a jam about 30 minutes from my house last night. It's primarily blues, but there is some mixed R&B and funk. As a really new player, there's a lot to learn musically, of course, BUT you really learn about other musicians when they're thrown together.

I've learned that the best quality of a good musician is generosity. Generous, not necessarily of "things," but of attitude. Seek the generous ones, who are quick with praise and support, who listen to others, and have an open musical mind. I've also learned that it's most often that the more accomplished (by skill or success,) are the most generous and open to connect. Often that's because the newer players are definitely consumed by trying to remember everything, and fear of being judged.

Beware the guys who are pretty good, but seem to think that their performance at a tiny jam is their magnum opus, or their ticket to fame after playing for decades. They will step over your body to get into the best light. lol.

Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!"

I was then welcomed to sit with the "cool kids" aka, the generous musicians who saw what happened and wanted to be sure I felt supported. They got me back up to play with them, a few songs I was totally familiar with, and was able to shine. The other people who shared the stage with me during that guy's tantrum all came up to me later to make sure everything was okay. It was a reminder that if you're so caught up in your own story and not supporting others, people notice. Doesn't matter how good you are, the other musicians and fans see you and it takes away from any talent you might have.

 

[Michedelic]

I went to a jam about 30 minutes from my house last night. It's primarily blues, but there is some mixed R&B and funk. As a really new player, there's a lot to learn musically, of course, BUT you really learn about other musicians when they're thrown together.

I've learned that the best quality of a good musician is generosity. Generous, not necessarily of "things," but of attitude. Seek the generous ones, who are quick with praise and support, who listen to others, and have an open musical mind. I've also learned that it's most often that the more accomplished (by skill or success,) are the most generous and open to connect. Often that's because the newer players are definitely consumed by trying to remember everything, and fear of being judged.

Beware the guys who are pretty good, but seem to think that their performance at a tiny jam is their magnum opus, or their ticket to fame after playing for decades. They will step over your body to get into the best light. lol.

Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!"

I was then welcomed to sit with the "cool kids" aka, the generous musicians who saw what happened and wanted to be sure I felt supported. They got me back up to play with them, a few songs I was totally familiar with, and was able to shine. The other people who shared the stage with me during that guy's tantrum all came up to me later to make sure everything was okay. It was a reminder that if you're so caught up in your own story and not supporting others, people notice. Doesn't matter how good you are, the other musicians and fans see you and it takes away from any talent you might have.

Wow, that person was waaaay out of line. It’s just a jam, not a gig, but once again insecurity and anger/control issues reared their ugly little heads. But that’s just it, a jam should be like a support group, and encouraging. There’s always that anxiety of measuring up, but ‘at peace with themselves’ individuals should give you that room to get there. That on-edge state of mind will push you to do better, though, and that will sharpen your playing. Thanks for the update on your journey through all that mess.

 

[flannel cat]

I was blessed when i started playing open mics, playing acoustic guitar, The other musicians were totally there to have my back in support and paitence ,and much respect.
a lot of fond memories and education came out of those sessions...
The nuts with egos are just the free entertainment......

 

[Oddly]

*sigh*
There was a time when a guy like that would've been taken outside and had some manners slapped into him.
I miss those days.

Glad the nice folks turned the night around for you.

 

[350125g0]

I went to a jam about 30 minutes from my house last night. It's primarily blues, but there is some mixed R&B and funk. As a really new player, there's a lot to learn musically, of course, BUT you really learn about other musicians when they're thrown together.

I've learned that the best quality of a good musician is generosity. Generous, not necessarily of "things," but of attitude. Seek the generous ones, who are quick with praise and support, who listen to others, and have an open musical mind. I've also learned that it's most often that the more accomplished (by skill or success,) are the most generous and open to connect. Often that's because the newer players are definitely consumed by trying to remember everything, and fear of being judged.

Beware the guys who are pretty good, but seem to think that their performance at a tiny jam is their magnum opus, or their ticket to fame after playing for decades. They will step over your body to get into the best light. lol.

Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!"

I was then welcomed to sit with the "cool kids" aka, the generous musicians who saw what happened and wanted to be sure I felt supported. They got me back up to play with them, a few songs I was totally familiar with, and was able to shine. The other people who shared the stage with me during that guy's tantrum all came up to me later to make sure everything was okay. It was a reminder that if you're so caught up in your own story and not supporting others, people notice. Doesn't matter how good you are, the other musicians and fans see you and it takes away from any talent you might have.

Guy sounds like a massive dickhead. Hope you don't have to deal with him again.

May he soon put his hands on the wrong person, and find his instrument indelicately-placed where the sun don't shine...

 

[LBS-bass]

Yep, what they all said. He was way out of line with that for a jam. Who prepares for a jam? You all get up there and play the best you can, and improvisation is the name of the game, not playing prescribed patterns.

Hopefully he'll be shown the door next time. Open jams are for people of all skill levels who want the opportunity to play and practice with others. That guy thought he was at Carnegie Hall.

 

[Hot Rats]

You already are one of the cool kids. Look up and see that guy in your rear-view mirror getting smaller every second. I'm glad there were grounded musicians around to make your night better.

 

[Lesfunk]

A lot of people ( especially those who seem to be good players) that frequent open jam nights usually don’t have gigs and there’s usually a good reason why.
You just discovered this first hand.

 

[Rib 13]

I've been running jams off and on for decades and I never encountered that level of bs......if it was my jam, I probably would've told the guy (as professionally as possible) that wasn't cool and remind him that this is an open jam

 

[Matt R.]

One of my side gigs is co-hosting a blues jam, and your post is spot on.
And yeah that guy should’ve walked away from that stage with at least one broken finger.

 

[smurfco]

I was jamming one time with a group of people and I guess the guitarist didn't like what I was doing so he reached over to my bass and turned my volume knob all the way down. Took everything I had not to hit him, and I'm not a violent person.

 

[BOOG]

I went to a jam about 30 minutes from my house last night. It's primarily blues, but there is some mixed R&B and funk. As a really new player, there's a lot to learn musically, of course, BUT you really learn about other musicians when they're thrown together.

I've learned that the best quality of a good musician is generosity. Generous, not necessarily of "things," but of attitude. Seek the generous ones, who are quick with praise and support, who listen to others, and have an open musical mind. I've also learned that it's most often that the more accomplished (by skill or success,) are the most generous and open to connect. Often that's because the newer players are definitely consumed by trying to remember everything, and fear of being judged.

Beware the guys who are pretty good, but seem to think that their performance at a tiny jam is their magnum opus, or their ticket to fame after playing for decades. They will step over your body to get into the best light. lol.

Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!"

I was then welcomed to sit with the "cool kids" aka, the generous musicians who saw what happened and wanted to be sure I felt supported. They got me back up to play with them, a few songs I was totally familiar with, and was able to shine. The other people who shared the stage with me during that guy's tantrum all came up to me later to make sure everything was okay. It was a reminder that if you're so caught up in your own story and not supporting others, people notice. Doesn't matter how good you are, the other musicians and fans see you and it takes away from any talent you might have.

I think it’s pretty telling about you, when you list the qualities/characteristics that you find beneficial vs detrimental.
Good for you with not only “hanging in there” but, getting back up there and ‘dotting that eye’!
Some people are “D’s”, unfortunately.

 

[TomB]

I’ve been on every size stage there is and played every kind of jam there is, and I’ve never seen or experienced that kind lowlife (plenty of other kinds) in 50+ years of it. Good for you for keeping your cool. The organizer needs to show this guy the door (that’s what bouncers are for). Hang in there!

 

[JC BASS 91]

Had an experience last night at a new jam for me, being thrown in with one of that type, a guitarist, barking out the changes (which I already knew) then get frustrated with me, and GRAB my bass neck and start fingering the pattern in the middle of the song!!! Unforgivable. I left the stage at the end of that song, as he said " you REALLY need to PREPARE next time!"

Your restraint was incredible. If someone grabbed my bass neck while I'm playing, they would find my right hand around their neck and would quickly have trouble breathing. Or, my knee in their groin.

 

[GeorgesEric]

Don’t worry - that person is an imbecile. I always like that word, imbecile. It sounds great in both English and en français. In French, we often add the happy quality to it: Imbécile heureux.

The best thing to do when an imbecile is given a microphone and center of attention is to be patient, kind and empathetic. An imbecile is a person of mental age between 3 and 8 years old.

Keep on playing with grown up musicians. I know we like to joke about it, but there are plenty of mature musicians out there! Jam away!

 

[rtslinger]

And it is that type who will never get to play with the cool kids. And wow to have the nerve to grab neck of your instrument, you handled it way better than I. Good for you.

 

[johnh89]

Guy sounds like a massive dickhead. Hope you don't have to deal with him again.

May he soon put his hands on the wrong person, and find his instrument indelicately-placed where the sun don't shine...

That would be me then

 

[Confunk]

I worked with a fantastic Blues artist who ran a weekly Jam. We played a set, then gave it up to players who signed in to play. I was always happy to see a few bass players show, so I could go to the awesome Thai restaurant next door.
The behavior you experienced is unforgiveable, and would not have been tolerated by the MC at the room we played. He made sure everyone who brought their axe got a chance to play and have fun.

I admit to seeing some pretty funny newbies who had some delusions about their skills, especially some of the vocals. But I always tried to remind myself "Who the H*** am I, in a World where Vic Wooten is performing somewhere?"

Open jams are designed to network, get out of the house & play in front of an audience, and most of all, just kick it maybe learn something, and have fun.
Hang in there -keep on going, and don't let Richard Head on guitar! spoil your having fun.

 

[Pings Bass]

Man, somebody lays hands on me or my bass without asking, they're not going to like what happens next. You have a good attitude, and you're spot on about generosity. It's a sign of maturity and confidence. Model yourself on those cats, and you'll go far.

 

[MrLenny1]

Sounds like a good jam. There is always an *******. Stick with the jam and learn the tune the ******* bitched about.